November 11th 2005 11:32 am
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This is Pie's mom writing the final entry in Pie's diary for him. Ater he wrote hislast entry things atarted looking up. It seemed like the new chemo protocol was working. Pie began to eat better than he had over the course of his long lillness. He began to have energy and played. He had a wonderful weekend last week. Spent a lot of time in the garden with us doing all his usual things. He seemed quite well. Tuesday he was due for a routine chemo treatment and we went. On the way there it seemed a bit odd to me that he went to sleep in his carrier. He never did that. he enjoyed the rides to and form his vet visits as a time we talked and I would let him nuzzle my fingers through the carrier. Figured he had a good breakfast and needed a nap. The remainder of the vet visit is routine. When he was brought back out to me I was told he was so good that they didnt even have to sedate him but he had some breathing issues (which has happened before if he gets upset) they gave him some oxygen and he seemed ok. As I was paying my bill I noticed he began to breathe poorly again and they took him back for more oxygen. This time he was in the back for half an hour. When he came back out he again looked ok so we were sent home. No sooner are we entering the highway I see he is having trouble breathing again. I figure he just needed to go home and I told him it would only be a short while till he could go home. He seemed restless then coughed once- coughed up blood. I rushed him back to the vet (had to go up to next exit to make a u-turn). He is very restless at this point and soon it was quiet, just as we exited the highway. He was very still and I worried . Another minute and we were back at the vets and I rushed him inside but there was nothing they could do . He had already left for the Bridge and despite efforts to bring him back he did not want to return. My sweet boy had gone on. His tumor had ruptured and nothing in the world could have saved him.
I had envisioned that he would have gone into a long decline and then have to help him cross over. He chose his own departure. I had thought I would hold him lovingly but he was in a carrier in a car barrelling down a highway with me begging him to hang on. In retrospect, his dad noted that he would have loved that ride. He loved watching racing. he loved excitement.
I spent some time privately with him. He looked so peaceful and , well, happy. Good for him. He must have seen something wonderful as he crossed.
At first I lamented that none of us had gotten to say good bye but then realized he had said good bye to all of us. Earlier that morning at breakfast, where he was a usual guest at the table he was exceptionally loving to his dad kisses and headbutts galore. He went over and did the same to two of my sons who were up. he visited my third son who was home sick in bed. Even Molly-cat sat near him as he ate his huge breakfast that morning. At the time I didn't think anything just how nice all the cats were being. Pie knew, but none of us did.
We are all so sad just the kind of sad that Pie would help us get through. Anytime anyone felt down he would appear and nuzzle or just sit and stare lovingly. He was such a comfort. Yoda is beside himself looking for his brother. Mini, good girl is trying to help him. She has taken to sleeping up against him, something she never did before. In time we all will adjust but we will always love our Pie. he was truly special.
I had hoped he would live past his birthday and I really thought he was going to make that. The next milestone was to be the 1 year from diagnosis. It wasn't meant to be. Pie would have turned 7 only 6 days after he crossed.
Pie will always be a true inspiration to me. He lived his short life to the fullest to his very last hours. What a wonderful example of indomitable spirit. I am so proud of him.
Sleep well my brave boy. You are loved.
October 24th 2005 7:25 am
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I can't believe it's been so long since I posted an entry. I have had a wonderful summer. In August, I even got to go to The Outer Banks of North Carolina with my family on vacation. They already had a pets allowed house since they always bring Sierra-dog and figured they could bring me too. Well they brought my brother Yoda too. it was a long 7 hour trip in the car. I actually enjoyed it but Yoda was a pain and cried until I told him to shut up. Once we got to to house we got put in a room but I wanted to explore so mom let me out. This was a really great house, lots of places to climb and what a view. Big white birds flew right by the windows and the air smelled really nice. We even got to eat some meals on the screened porch where I could get a better look at those gulls as mom called them. Vacation was fun and I heard mom and dad saying that they should always bring us boy cats. My sister cats stayed home since they hate the car even for short trips. Mom's friend took care of them.
Then it was just hanging out at home until the human brothers went back to school. I miss them during the day.
About a month ago the vet found 2 new spots in my chest. We all were pretty dissappointed because we had stopped that tumor in its tracks for so many months. I was still feeling quite good so my family took it ok thinking it was only a minor setback.
Last week I was starting to have to work harder to breathe and mom thought I needed the fluids aspirated from my chest as I had done several times already. That always made me feel so much better. Well I was due for my chemo anyway and when they did the ultrasound we got grim news. I did not have fluids, the tumor had grown alot and is filling my chest cavity. We are trying a new drug combination to see if it will help me. That was last Wednesday.
I haven't felt any different yet- but i still am interested in things and my people. I nibble at food and get around but I don't feel like playing much anymore. Its too hard to breathe. I like to watch Yoda play though. I spend lots of time with each of my people. Breakfast with dad, I sit with mom during the day, and I wait for my boys after school and take time with each one in the afternoon and evening. I purr and headbutt all of them. I have so many things I still need to do. Mom says that there is always hope and I do have hope. I see mom cry every so often and I think its about me. I don't want my people to be sad. If I do have to leave I'm sure its because I have some other bigger purpose. I love my family- they rescued me and Yoda when no one else wanted us. They are the best humans a cat could ever want. They dont even get mad when we spray sometimes. So I am glad that I got to be with this family for most of my life. I came here when I was 16 months old and my 7th birthday is on November 14- only about 3 weeks away. Many kitties are not as fortunate as I have been.
I'm rambling on here but i did have a lot I wanted to say. I hope that the next time I write it will be good news.
July 6th 2005 5:35 am
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I have been way too busy to write in my journal. After trying a different chemo protocol we are back on the original. Not that the new one hurt me- it just didnt seem as good as the original. You see, my tumor is still not shrinking. Its not growing either, which mom says is a good thing by itself. The doc wanted to try to see if a different drug would do more. It didnt- in fact I collected more fluids in my chest that they had to take out and that didnt happen so fast with the first stuff they gave me.
I have been feeling very well though- I chased a mouse on the 4th of July and this morning I was playing with my paper ball and woke everyone up. Mom calls me her little miracle kitty. I just want to play!
See all diary entries for Pie (11/14/1998 - 11/8/2005)|