January 17th 2012 4:14 pm
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It is two weeks today since I took you to see the doctor at the hospital. I had been expecting to admit you for an operation as we thought that you had a liver shunt and that an operation would put it right and you would be OK.
The doctor asked me to put you on the floor so that you could walk around and he could observe you. He asked me if you dribbled and I said no. He said in nearly all cases of liver shunt, almost without exception there is some dribbling of saliva, so he didn't think it was a shunt. I asked him if he had an idea of what it might be. He said there were several things but that he would need to do tests. He was concerned about your swollen tummy. I left you in his care and went home. I was feeling very uneasy about the whole thing because I knew you were really very sick.
I looked on the internet about kittens with swollen tummies and I kept stumbling across lots of different websites and all of them kept throwing up the same illness FIP. I read a lot that day and I knew that it had no cure and meant death. I had an awful feeling of dread. Later that afternoon the doctor telephoned me with the news I did not want to hear. He said he was almost sure that what you had was FIP and that you were very ill. He said he was awaiting another test result and that he would call me the following morning, but that we might have to make a decision about your future.
Your daddy and I talked at great length about the illness and your future and we knew that whatever the outcome of the other test result we would only do what was best for you however much that might hurt us.
We got the call the next morning. The doctor confirmed that he was almost 100% certain that was FIP. We went to the hospital to meet with the doctor and he explained to us all the reasons that it was definitely FIP. He very gently explained to us that you had no longer than 2 days left to live.
It was the hardest decision we have ever made, but for you little Alfie we truly believe it was the right decision. It hurt and it still hurts.
Alfie I have been touched and overwhelmed by the love and kindness of all the other kittens, cats and their mummies, especially tonight when I was having such a dark moment. I had an email with a link to a diary and I was overwhelmed to find so much had been written about you.
Alfie the love and kindness that I have found on this website is incredible. It is helping me to turn the corner and I am almost ready to let go and let God.
God bless you Alfie, sweet dreams.
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I know you can turn the corner and then let go and let God. It takes time to heal and catster love sure makes a difference. We were not members when my Alley cat died with FIP and it was horrible when the vet said it was best to have her PTS. Now my sweet Moma Ivey is gone too and we were here as part of this wonderful caring community it helps to feel the love.
Sometimes I feel like I am getting better (and I force the sadness away) and then tonight I had a crying fit when I fond my little girls food bowl in the dish washer. :( I washed it the night I found her dead.
Then tonight as I read your diary the tears rolled again. I know my girl is better where she is now, but I sure do miss her and all the love she gave me.
God bless you little Alfie and ALfie's mom.
It takes time to let go. Right now there will be alot of reminders of your sadness; but someday, those little reminders might bring a smile to your face again. Purrs of comfort, Roni and family
I'm REALLY sorry that Alfie & Moma Ivey were BOTH called to the Rainbow Bridge at the same time!! It's not FAIR!! Luv, Snow