January 10th 2012 2:29 pm
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I am shaking. I couldn't log into the account and I was panicking because I thought I'd deleted the account.
We are going out for a meal on Friday night because we need to get out of the house - it's so very lonely without you. We are going to try to be cheerful and celebrate all the love you gave us.
Sleep tight darling.
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Hi Alfie's mommy! I promise you with all of my heart to look after that sweet little boy here in kitty heaven. He's already got everyone swooning for him and giving him whisker kisses. He's a special boy and we love him already. I know it's terribly hard. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. You loved him with your whole heart and soul. That's all a kitty can ever ask for.
Just breathe deeply. Whenever you are feeling shaky, remember to concentrate on your breathing for a moment. It's the only way to take your mind off this for a minute. Try to read, magazines or story collections. One article at a time, to give your mind a break.
You will get through this, I promise. I just can't say WHEN.
I am SO sorry you lost your beloved little Alfie, who was born on Snow's first day with us(he was 10 weeks old). I'm sure you have lost kitties before, but this was a special one and may have been your soul-kitty. I lost mine in a fire in 2005, so I can tell you that it's even harder. I had panic attacks for weeks, ok, actually months, afterward.
Take care of yourself the way Alfie would have wanted you to. Go out to dinner, get out of the house, even for a walk around the block, on a regular basis. Winter forces us to stay inside more, which will keep you thinking about it.
There is NO GOOD ANSWER so you are bound to dwell on it until you accept this. FIP is a horrible disease, it kills before they have even had a life, just at the time when you and they themselves are discovering what they could be. It's an ugly diagnosis that brings death quickly. IT'S NOT FAIR. We have made such strides with other feline diseases, just to have FIP come on to the scene. Believe me they are working on it, for better tests for clear diagnosis and better ways to treat it.
In closing(you're saying "whew!" I'm sure), Alfie's death was not in vain. You each have been reminded of how far your hearts could be stretched with love: how deep into your soul you could laugh at silly antics. This is what a kitten will do for a person, and it is good. Sometimes we spend years with older cats and our lives are serene, but we forget this "kitten lesson"! That's why we got Snow.
Luv, Tink (well, mostly mommy, MOL)
p.s.("OMC", you say) Someone here once told us that kittens are needed at the Rainbow Bridge to help the new Angel-Kitties remember how to be playful. We LOVE that thought!
(She meant losing your soul-kitty is harder, not "in a fire" is harder. It doesn't matter HOW they go, it's ALWAYS hard!)
I'm so sorry again. Take a deep breath and cry some more. For tears and laughter both are miracle healers. I wish for you that you are able to revert your focus long enough to enjoy your night out.
Remember to take a deep breath.
Hi Alfie's mom this is mom to moma Ivey. Thanks for visiting us on Ivey's page. We just sent a friend request. I want you to know we lost Alley (one of the 5 of Ivey's kittens)to FIP, and of course now we just lost Ivey. Lots of good advice here, and also for me sometimes, it is good to just let go and cry till my head hurts, you let it all out, no matter how long it takes. We lost my Alley in Oct 10 and when I came to catster in Nov 10 there were some days I just wanted to cry for her and I did. The love of the other kitties did help me heal. When I lost my "only" cat skids there were no other kitties, then we got booboo. When you are ready there are so many kitties that are beggin for the love you have you have to give. It really helps my heart, tonight my kitties seem to know I am so very sad and some of them try so hard to "make it better" I just want to say sorry for your loss and I know how you feel too, the pain is hard to get past at times, we will make it. big hug