Busted!

Dad saw me itching and scratching last night and today he found out why. After he fed Mama Cat he caught me eating the food out of her bowl. This is food I'm allergic to so I'm not supposed to eat it. Mama is usually very protective of her food. But over the last few weeks I've been kissing up to her and making nice. That was my in. I finally got her to trust me enough that she let me eat her food, but now I'm screwed because Dad busted me. Dagnabbit!!! All that sucking up and covert ops for nothing. It's not easy being a CIA Stealth Ninja Kitty.

Well, happy New Year everybody!!!

See Me! Feel Me! Touch Me! Heal Me!

I am cured (knock wood 3 times)! Since about 2003 I've been suffering from an on again off again skin problem. I'd get really itchy and get scabby around my neck. I'd lick my belly raw too. We thought it was flea allergies. I took steroids for a few days and it would clear up. Then it wouldn't bother me for a while. Then it would come back. It didn't seem like a food allergy because it also seemed seasonal. Who ever heard of a seasonal food allergy?

Well this past fall I went to get my rabies shot, and my vet decided to put me back on a course of steroids, and that I should change my food. I've basically been eating poultry based foods since I became a house cat. She wanted me to switch to a rabbit based food. But the only dry rabbit food that didn't have chicken in it was Royal Canin. After the recall situation we're pretty leary of the company, and any company that doesn't make their own food. So we decided to stick with the Natura brands and get the California Natural herring and sweet potato.

So I'm taking the steroids. My skin clears up. We start mixing in the new food. By the time we're eating all California Natural my skin is cleared up. Not one sore. And my beautiful fur was growing back from the sore places. And it's sooo soft. I've resumed my night time struts when I jump on the bed or the sofa and let everyone pet me and praise me. It's been a while since I've done that a lot. Not since the new cats arrived and we moved.

I've been off the steroids for a while now and I'm still doing well. We're also getting more canned food than we used to get, and in all kinds of flavors. Tonight we had lamb. The real test will be what happens this spring. If I can stay itch and scab free that long then we'll know for sure it was the diet.

Yes, we moved again. This time we have the new cats; Big Mama and Banjo. Mama and I seem to have become a little bit like friends. She lets me hang out with her and sometimes we touch noses--in public view. Banjo on the other hand is a total child. And he's loud. I've tried to teach him a few things about stealth, but quite frankly I think I'd have an easier time teaching a 2x4. But he's a good kid, he means well. And it's nice to have a new sparring partner every once in a while.

I'm just glad to finally be getting back to my old self again.

I Burned the Turd Blossom's Trousers for my Birthday!

Yes that's right. It's my birthday, and I got to use my Death Ray Eyes for the first time. We finally captured the Turd Blossom (aka Karl Rove). Rosie hatched a fiendish plot to capture him. Hiring a Hillary Clinton lookalike, Rosie chartered a bus to take a gaggle of welfare mothers to Planned Parenthood to buy contraceptives. The Turd Blossom was so confused. At first he thought that was great because then the welfare mothers wouldn't have anymore children so they wouldn't be draining the government coffers that have been reserved for him and Haliburton. But then he thought, "What if one of those welfare mothers was destined to give birth to the new baby Jesus?" He swooped into action. He assembled a SWAT team (all operatives working for me at CIA). When they got there he was easily apprehended. That's when Attorney General Rosie authorized me to burn his trousers off with my Death Ray Eyes. It was awesome. And guess what? He wears Bob the Builder tighty whities, and screams like a girl.

This has been the best birthday ever!

Holy Crap! I won a Cat Spa!

I've been so busy helping Rosie hunt down the Turd Blossom that I hadn't had a chance to read the Catster Mews Letter. I just found out that I won one of those Cat Spa deals from the Garfield sweepstakes. To be honest I had completely forgotten about it. But what a nice surprise. Now after a long day of hunting down the forces of evil I can rub my self silly on the Cat Spa. Thanks HQ!

Ninja Kitty

I have been under deep cover while having my new weapons installed. As the Director of Central Intelligence I feel it is important to posess the latest technology. I am now equipped with Night Vision Death Ray Eyes and Claws of Death as my new pictures above demonstrate. Don't mess with me.

I am now ready to join in the hunt for the Elusive Turd Blossom.

Free at Last!

Finally I can go to the bathroom in peace! Dad finally found out how to rig the laundry room door so Moo and I can go in, but annoying Rosie can't. It's about time! Plus there is the added bonus of being able to explore the laundry room. Sweet.

Campaign Trail

I have been placed in charge of security for the campaign due to my stealthy ways. This isn't exactly easy with two dogs that are, for lack of a better word, totally spastic. We've hired the usual bands of mercenaries to keep order. I'm not entirely sure that I want to be National Security Advisor, but it does mean that I get to hang out in the Situation Room. And Isabel says that I can send the Delta Force to swoop in somewhere if I get bored. I like swooping. I'm thinking I will send them to the resevoir to swoop down on the geese that swim there. Quite frankly I don't want geese pooping in my water. That's just gross.

I Am A Mess

I went to the doctor today to have a lump on my head checked out. Now I have a bunch of problems. My teeth need to be cleaned very badly. I have bad gingivitis. I also have a heart murmur. This complicates things pretty badly. I can't get knocked out for the cleaning if my heart is bad, it could kill me. And having the murmur makes me more susceptible to problems stemming from the teeth thing. They also won't be able to remove the lump and test it to see if it's canerous (my doc thinks it's benign) if I can't be anesthetized. So now I have to have all these expensive tests done. This sucks. Though the doc did say I'm very pretty so I have that going for me. And I got my ears cleaned for free. Still, this sucks.

Wow!!!

Check me out on the home page! That's so cool. Well, now that I've got the center of attention I shall use my powers for good.

Look into my eyes. You are getting sleepy...you are in my power...you are bringing me tuna steak...and chicken livers...and catnip...no you will not pick me up...you will scoop my box...no you will not pick me up...tell me I'm beautiful...now go to my page and give me many treats...now buy me a car...a '57 Buick Roadmaster (you will pay for my gas) convertable, in pale yellow with a white top and white walls...you will fill the massive trunk with ice and fish (put a liner in it, don't stink up my wheels)...and make sure there's a booster seat so I can see over the dash board...you are coming out now...I will count to three...when I get to three you will wake up and do my bidding...you will also cluck like a chicken every time you hear the word cat, or wankle rotary engine...one, two, THREE!!!

Hey, It Was My Birthday

Well, we don't know for sure it was my birthday. Dad says it's August 1st because when he took Nick and I in we were probably about that old. We were already weened and hunting around the house. Our Mama told us to go there because she knew we had taken in some of her other children, namely Moo Cow and Flint (aka the Little Burger) who was killed on the highway not long before she sent us. Anyway, we were probably born in late July or early August so Dad made my birthday August 1st 'cause that's Jerry Garcia's birthday.

Catster gave me lots of treats, and put me in the birthday stroll--thanks y'all. I didn't get to say thank you before because we had no internet access while we were moving. Dad snuck a quick peek at work and told me the news though.

Now that I'm eight I feel like I've been around enough to dispense some wisdom.

First, dogs are meant for slapping in the face. Even if you're a cat who loves your dog (which I am) you should slap it in the face every once in a while so they remember who's the boss.

Two- fleas suck.

Three-If someone else will do it for you let them. Life's too short to waste doing petty things. There are bugs to hunt and naps to take.

Four-I'm about the prettiest cat ever. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Five-Did I mention that I'm the prettiest cat ever?

Six-Dispense your love judiciously. When you come out your family will feel so priviledged they will rub and worship you.

Seven-It's better to look good than to feel good, unless you are breaking out from flea bites, in which case you do not look good or feel good. In fact, chances are that if you're looking good you're feeling good so strut cat strut.

That's my bit of wisdom for now. Oh yeah...eight-If you fart, blame the dog.