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Toby's Diary

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New cat in the hood

January 7th 2013 10:32 pm
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He is quite large and black and white. Mum says he looks very handsome but Josie and I don't like him. He strolled up our garden path, cool like the cucumber, and asked if he could come in.

Josie yodelled in blood curdling tones to warn him off. She sang of how our mum likes to tear unwelcome cats from limb to limb with her bare hands so he would be scared.

"Wait a minute," said mum. "I never do that. Ever."

I considered this.

"Sometimes you pick me up for a cuddle when I'm not in the mood" I pointed out.

Josie said that unwanted affection is hardly the stuff of threatening songs and carried on. Outside cat lunged at the door but the magic held firm. Josie lashed back at the glass and he was gone. After a while I courageously went out to check and our garden was catless so Josie had scared him off. (Obviously I would have been even more scary but she got there first!"


Christmas is officially over

January 6th 2013 10:38 pm
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At the weekend I helped my mum take down all the decorations. I will most miss the tree. I liked to bob the baubles and watch my refection wibble about. Josie will most miss - mum had put some of our cards in a display thing and Josie liked to see it she could jump over it without knocking any cards down. She couldn't but that didn't stop her trying. So she will miss that.

It's very sad when Christmas ends. Mum was cheering herself up polishing off the Christmas biscuits. I said Josie and I should cheer ourselves up and polish off our Christmas treats but mum said no.

Mum did go through all our cards and some special ones have been put by and will be made into new cards and/or gift tags for next year. That makes Christmas 2013 feel not so far away and I felt better knowing that. The flat looks very bare without all the glitter and tinsel around.

Mum says we will have to find some new ways to keep happy. Hmm.


A very important message for my mum

January 3rd 2013 10:40 pm
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When I run in chewing on stuff my mum always jumps up and grabs it from my jaws. She says she worries about what I might swallow but I reckon if it fits in my mouth it must be OK to eat.

We definitely don't agree on that one.

Anyway yesterday I ran in with something and she took it and, as usual, asked, "what is it?"

It was a tiny strip of paper folded up so my mum unfolded it. It had writing on - it was an important message for my mum from us. She burst out laughing when she read it.

"Wherever did you find this?"

"That doesn't matter. It's just something you need to know."

She is still puzzling over where it came from and what it belonged to but what it says is, "we're bright and breezy and full of fun." And we are! It's very tiny writing and looks like it was cut from something longer and she cannot think what that could be. Typical human - why do they want to known all the time instead of just enjoying.


Famous Superstar Cat

January 2nd 2013 10:43 pm
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Last night my mum watched a programme on TV that really inspired me. It was about animals that star in films and TV shows. I could do that. I would love to do that.

I see myself as a feline James Bond. I have the sophisticated good looks and could do all my own stunts. I had a practice. See the daring spy leap to safety up the curtains! See how fast he runs through the flat and flys several feet through the air! See him wriggle under the throw and appear, a silent assassin coming from nowhere, to attack the toy fish. I could do the fight scenes too only mum said to stop annoying Josie. And I would drink my milk shaken, not stirred.

I was so sure this was my destiny that I was asking my mum where I sign up. She said to watch the programme more carefully. All the animals we saw have to do just what they are told to do when they are told to do it.

I don't take direction very well.

Mum said maybe we could practice me taking instructions but I didn't think that sounded fun at all. I curled up next to her and announced that the world will be deprived of this cat superstar after all. I needed a sleep.

But I dreamed of exciting adventures as Purred, James Purred, off to the rescue!


Liking 2013 so far

January 1st 2013 10:44 pm
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Yesterday was all bright sunshine so I was able to make a good start to my resolution of building on my success as a mighty hunter. I caught several birds - or I would have if they hadn't flown away that is. Birds cheat like that.

Mum was doing some New Year clearing out. I thought maybe the flat should be de-cluttered by one tortie cat but mum and Josie both gave me looks that said they didn't think that was funny. I like clearing out. Mum finds odd things which all must be tested for toy potential.

Josie did not start on her resolve of more lap time and I will tell you why. My mum's sniffles from before last week never quite left and are now become sneezles. When cats (and some people) sneeze it is a delicate affair, the lightest ruffling of the air. When my mum sneezes she really goes for it. WA-CHHOOO and birds are blown off course, aeroplanes have to re-set their flight plans and the earth shifts very slightly on its axis.

She says it isn't that bad but I think it is. Her sneezes are certainly nothing a nervously minded cat like Josie can handle so lap time has to wait.

Mum also made herself a book for the year from one of her 2012 calendars. It's month sheets and blank pages so she can fill it in as she goes. She said 2012 went so fast she couldn't remember what happened so she wants to cherish 2013 more. I asked if Josie and I will go in the book and she says we will so I like her book.


Happy New Year Everybody!!

December 31st 2012 11:26 pm
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I didn't exactly like the start of 2013 as lots of bangs were happening and flashes in the sky but I remember they happened in November too and they don't come indoors so cats are safe on their chairs. Josie always goes under mum's bed if in any doubt.

But now it's 2013 morning Number One. No work for my mum again. That's good except she says we need to think about what we'll be doing in 2013 like our resolutions.

My resolution last year was to help more with the housework and I have done that. Sometimes mum has taken 3-4 times longer to change the sheets thanks to my intervention. A fun job like that should not be rushed! She said for this year maybe to think about what went well in 2012 and do more of that.

2012 I caught my first frog and my first mouse. I like to be the mighty hunter so I'll do more of that.

Josie says in 2012 her best bit was spending more time on mum's lap so she proposes to do more of that in 2013.

Mum says she needs to lose some of her tummy this year. Josie looked alarmed. She loves mum's squishy, soft tummy, perfect for a cat to lie on gently padding as she drifts off to sleep. Mum says not to worry, she doesn't think it will go in any massive way. She just wants her clothes to fit properly again.

So that's us all ready now. As ever we plan to have lots of fun times, lots of snuggles and a home full of love all year and we wish the same to all our Catster friends.


My mum's relaxing bath

December 30th 2012 10:34 pm
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For Christmas my mum got some special bubbly stuff so last night she had a special bath. I heard her pour the water and go "mmmmm" as she sniffed the bubbles and she put her pyjamas on the radiator to be toasty when she got out and she dimmed the lights and she put on her plinky plonky music and in she slid. All relaxy.

Which reminded me. I wasn't relaxy. My tummy was empty. I called her. She ignored me. I called again, louder.

"Seriously?" she called back.

"I am a poor starving cat," I gave it my most piteous mews.

"When I checked there were chunks in your dish and biscuits in your biscuit bowl" she said. She really did think she had thought of everything.

This carried on a while. I did go in and peer at her in the bubbles but I didn't want to get too close for fear of getting wet.

I thought I might actually lose this one but fate intervened on my behalf. Mum suddenly went, "NO!" And then she leapt out of the bath, grabbed her gown and ran outside. She was banging on the door of upstairs for water was leaking through the bathroom ceiling and giving her a cold shower on top of her warm bath.

I heard voices and she came back in and waited. Then she went back out as the water kept pouring and when she came back she had the guy from upstairs with her - maybe he didn't believe her but he could see the water for himself. He claimed to have no idea where the water was coming from but it did stop after that.

But my mum was grumpy and not relaxy at all so bathtime was over and kitty supper time was here. Every cloud and all that!!

Mum is back at work today which is good as we have had an earlier breakfast. We will miss having her around on snack duty though.


Mum has the sniffles

December 27th 2012 11:19 pm
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She started out alright yesterday then she said, "I don't feel too good" and sat down. Nurse Josie swung into action. "It's very important that you rest," she said, "and arrange your legs just so. That's how you'll get better."

"Just so" was by coincidence legs arranged perfectly for Josie to curl up and sleep on mum's lap which she did. I think they spent pretty much the whole day like that. They watched a film that mum chose and then Shrek which Josie chose because she likes Puss in Boots and mum read her Christmas present book - The Cat who came for Christmas - which she loved and read out bits to Josie. And they both slept quite a bit.

I did venture outside but they are saying on the news that 2012 will be the wettest year on record for the UK and I'll believe it. It hasn't stopped raining for ever - actually pretty much since they announced an official drought back in the summer. I am not a fan of rain.

Mum says she has things to do today so she has taken some medicine and won't be taking Nurse Josie's rest cure so much. I have given her plenty of headrubs and purrs as we know they work to make people better.


Mum abandoned us

December 26th 2012 11:46 pm
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Mum went away on Christmas Day and came back yesterday evening. She said she went to her sister's and we weren't invited. (This is due to the Henry/chimney episode; some years ago but never forgotten. When he visited he went up the chimney to see if he could find Sandy Claws. He didn't but he worried my mum enough to be talking about getting the chimney demolished and when he did come back down he brought large quantities of soot with him and on him. So us cats are no longer welcome in case we do the same!)

Luckily we had plenty of toys to be going on with - mostly tree ornaments if I'm honest. I still don't get the track thing with the ball in. Mum changed it round to be a loop and has been pinging the ball round and I watch nicely but I'm not sure what she expects me to do.

Despite next door people popping in to feed us we were still happy to see our mum home. Josie spent all night perched on her purring - not cool, Josie, not cool.

Today mum is not going to work so maybe we'll have another go at understanding the ball in track thing!


Merry Christmas Everybody

December 24th 2012 10:55 pm
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I have been so good Sandy Claws did come. Now I can be naughty again for ten months. Thank goodness for that.

We have lots of treats and new toy mice and toy fish and balls and a tube with a ball to bat about in it - except I think mum's played with that more than I have. She keeps tapping the ball, watching it fly down the tube and saying, "Look Toby! It's fun!" but I'm not sure I get it. Maybe later.

My top favourite present so far - a very snuggly tummy rub and snooze with my mum right by my side. Love is our best Christmas gift.

So I wish you all (and all the kitties out there) Love, warm sleepy places and full tummies and a very Merry Christmas.

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