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Toby's Diary

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Mum went away

November 25th 2012 11:36 pm
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Friday started happy when mum said that Catster HQ did e-mail her and say they are running behind but have promised me I will get my full week of picture when they catch up. Then my mum didn't go to work so I thought that was good. But then out came Big Bag.

We were valiant in our efforts. Both Josie and I sat in the bag for a while and in a master stroke Josie leapt on mum's lap when she sat down briefly. Everyone knows cat on lap cannot be moved. But mum went away with Big Bag.

Victoria from next door gave us our meals and mum came back on Sunday evening.

We told her that we had been starved but mum looked at the nearly empty box of cat food and asked where it had gone if we hadn't eaten it.

"Victoria ate it" I said but mum wasn't convinced that Victoria had taken a fancy to our rabbit chunks in gravy and did not give us bonus food to make up.

Then Sunday is the day mum empties our tray and cleans it and it was extra smelly as we had been in all weekend and then Josie had got over-excited and was sick so mum had to clean that up. Mum said she had missed us all weekend when she was away but now she couldn't remember why.

Lucky for her she has another day off work today so she can look after us and make up for that remark!


The Furminator

November 22nd 2012 10:37 pm
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Mum and I were having happy snuggles and she said, "you are shedding a lot young man. Are you moulting?"

"I am indeed. Time to shed my light summer coat and grow my snuggly winter one."

She looked at the handfuls of fur drifting to the ground with each stroke and said she had found something she had forgotten she had - the furminator.

It looked like an instrument of torture and I wasn't sure I wanted it anywhere near me but when she got going...

"That is FABULOUS! Furminate me all over" I loved it. I extra dribbled. And mum got lots of fur off me - she says I am now silky smooth.

I am so ready for my picture to be Cat of the Week but we haven't heard back from Catster HQ. Mum said maybe they were busy celebrating Thanksgiving - and they have a lot of cats to be thankful for. In her e-mail mum had said it looks like I'm having another one of my fantasies when they don't put it up.

"What do you mean 'another' one?"

"We don't really have dragons in the garden."

"That's what you think!"


Being kind to our mum

November 21st 2012 10:30 pm
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When mum gets home from work she picks up the post - but it rarely makes her happy. Often she sighs at her bills and no-one likes Bank Statement Day! So yesterday she picked up her post and it was all wet. She looked up to see if she had a leak. No. So she looked down and realised... what was on her post was best described as kitty tummy gloop.

My mum makes some interesting noises at times like that and she ran to the bathroom to wash her hands.

Josie thought if she coated the post in stuff then mum wouldn't have to read it. Mum said it was a magazine she did want to read and a mail shot from a chocolate company. Nothing scary today except cat sick!

Oh well - she tried.

My picture still isn't on Cat of the Week so mum double checked and although Gysmo is a fine cat he has had his week and it really should be me so mum sent a message to Catster HQ to remind them. My week is running out and I haven't got to see myself yet.


Cat of the Week

November 20th 2012 10:44 pm
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When my mum told me I didn't believe her. It is such an honour. I feel all squiggly inside. In the e-mail it said I have control of the Scratching Post so I hereby declare and decree that all cats can sharpen their claws as much as they like! (I was worried that one or two of my friends no longer have claws but mum says as it's a virtual scratching post they can sharpen their virtual claws so it will be OK.)

I think Cat of the Week should get lots of extra loving so I woke my mum up nice and early so she could get plenty of stroking in before she goes to work. Actually Cat of the Week people should really stay home and honour their cat but mum says she's on a course so she can't.

I am always fascinated by the crazy things my mum learns - never useful stuff like 'Advanced Snuggling Skills' or even 'How Not to Pick the Food in Gravy Even When it's on Special Offer!'

"Go on then. What is it this time?"

"Project Management"

"What's that?"

"You have a large thing you need to do that is new and other people have to help and it's how you plan and track it."

"Is that not the same as when you learnt Strategy?"

To be fair to mum she did try and explain the difference but first my eyes got tired and then my ears and I fell asleep dreaming of a project that would teach Smudge to leave little cats alone!!


Sometimes I like having a sisfur

November 19th 2012 10:36 pm
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Yesterday when mum came home from work she opened my door so I could have my run outdoors - but what was that? A bad cat in MY garden. I gave my fiercest growl and puffed my tail up so I would look enormous and very frightening.

He didn't look too worried.

Mum says something about discretion being the greater part of valour and and the advice from my Catster pals yesterday was to avoid a fight. I decided I would play indoors for the evening. But what to do?

Then there was a nudge at my heels. "I'm a big, scary cat," said Josie. "Chase me". We were off. We ran in every room in the flat, we bounced off every surface, sometimes I chased and sometimes Josie chased and it was brilliant. Mum only came out at the really big crashes and we didn't break anything. Soon I didn't care about the bad cat at all.

I cared even less when mum was on her puter and she said I was a Daily Diary Pick again. I bet bad cat never was one!


Sheets are brilliant

November 18th 2012 10:39 pm
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Of all mum's weekend jobs I love changing the bed linen the best. And the sheet is the best bit. Mum pulls the old sheet off and I chase after it and try and pull it back and when we've done that she puts the new one on. Yesterday I went under it before she tucked it in. Mum laughed and poked at me with her fingers, saying all she would see was a cat shaped lump. I pounced on those fingers from under the sheet and game on!

I was so happy my purr rumbled out and made mum laugh even more. We played a while and then Josie came to see what we were up to. She was a bit wary. Maybe seeing a white cat without distinct features she thought I was a ghost cat.

I was a long time in my sheet tent. Mum was getting on with other things but every now and then came in and asked, "Are you still there?" and I was.

So it was a happy weekend except once when Smudge from next door tried to beat me up and mum came and rescued me. Mum does good rescues. Smudge is pretty sure she wouldn't hurt him but she does some fiercesome growling so he doesn't like to take the chance.


Just occasionally my mum is right

November 15th 2012 10:30 pm
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We were all on my mum's bed. Mum was reading her book, Josie was on her legs and I was watching them. When Josie noticed me watching her she started flicking her tail. Excellent - Game on.

I moved closer and tried to catch her tail in my mouth.

"Don't bite her tail," said mum. "She doesn't like that."

I thought I knew better. Why would she flick her tail so enticingly if she didn't want me to attack it? The more attempts I made the more wildly the tail moved. At last I caught it and gave just a friendly nip, not a bite proper.

Turns out mum was right. Josie said some most unladylike things and shot off the bed. Who would have guessed that would happen?

We are friends again now. I think.

We got some post yesterday. Not our cards - something even better! We got a free sample of some new food and it was delicious. Mum said they also sent a coupon so we might even get to have a whole box. Our normal food is Ok but this was something else - clean bowls all round. I was so intent on enjoying mine I didn't even steal any of Josie's - that's how good it was!


The run away biscuit

November 14th 2012 10:35 pm
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We have our biscuits in a bowl next to our water bowl. If I'm really hungry I crunch straight from the bowl but really biscuits taste better if they are scooped out and eated from the floor. Then my whiskers can really join in and we get the full taste sensation. Neither mum nor Josie get this but I like to flip my biscuits out, one by one.

I was doing that last night when a disaster happened. A slight paw misjudgement and the biscuit slipped between the biscuit bowl and the water bowl. I couldn't get my nose to it so I tried to reach it with my paw. My paw was too wide for the gap. Hm. I tried the extendable claw but couldn't grip the errant biscuit. Maybe another angle? I walked around the bowl and reached in from the other side.

I was a cat on a mission. I was getting that biscuit.

Mum laughed at me.

"There are plenty more in the bowl. Why not eat those and I'll rescue the stray one later?"

But they weren't my escaped biscuit and probably wouldn't taste as good. I had to have that one. I got it in the end, oh yes I did.

Mum said she couldn't bear watching me any longer so got up from her sofa and moved the bowls more apart. Excellent. And it was very delicious and well worth the work on both our parts.

Our Christmas card photos haven't come yet but mum had an e-mail to say they have shipped. I thought this meant they were coming on a boat which was pretty cool but mum said it will be a lorry actually.

"How many did you order for a whole lorry?"

"It won't just have ours. They'll be lots of others in there too."

So now I'm worried they'll get lost and we might have someone else's pictures instead. I won't relax until they are safely here.


New box

November 13th 2012 11:06 pm
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My mum was late home yesterday. She said she had to go and collect a parcel from the Post Office and oh yes, Amazon had sent us a shiny new box. Mum thought rather they had sent the DVD and game that were inside.

"My new box!!"

I let Josie try it out first and she reported it as being very satisfactory so I climbed inside. I am happy to report it is indeed an excellent box.

"Did you ever meet a box you didn't like?" mum asked but she's missing the point.

I sat in it awhile enjoying the craftsmanship and quality materials.

"Are you going to sleep in there?" mum asked.

"No. I am closing my eyes better to appreciate the smooth texture of the cardboard."

But now she mentioned it the size did seem perfectly formed for a curled up cat. No doubt designed with that in mind. So I did. Churlish not to.

Mum took a picture which is now on my page along with a new one of Josie and me just sleeping on the arm of the sofa together. And she ordered some Christmas cards on-line showing me reaching out and tapping a bauble on last year's tree. Everyone will love to have that on their mantlepeice this year.


Wet inside

November 12th 2012 10:36 pm
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I had to call my mum this morning. "There's puddles of water on the kitchen floor."

"There are," she agreed. "Can you remember why?"


"Run back through this morning."

I thought about that. "I woke up when the heating came on and woke you up to let you know that it was on."

"Right. You don't need to do that by the way. I'm happy to have that as a pleasant surprise when my alarm goes off. Then what?"

I thought again.

"Breakfast with gravy so I only had a little and then I went out."

"But you didn't have your normal twenty minutes did you?"

"I remember now. There was an enormous fire breathing dragon in the garden and I had to come in very quickly."

"And where was I at that time?" she wanted to know.

"In the shower. I could hear the water running"

And yes, it came back to me. I had scrabbled at my door with frantic paws and my mum had come, dripping wet out of her shower, to rescue me and let me in the dragon-free sanctuary that is home.

So it is shower water on our kitchen floor that mum will mop up. And I get to feel pretty clever about how well trained I have her that she came and didn't leave me to wait! My paws were very urgent paws though. And I think the dragon may have gone now so I might go back out..

And I was a Diary Pick so I would like to thank everyone for my lovely messages. I do feel extremely special to be chosen.

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