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Toby's Diary

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When you aren't happy..

September 24th 2013 10:38 pm
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Yesterday my mum went to work like normal but to our surprise came back at lunchtime. She said she had been at a training event.

"what did you learn?" I asked.

"How to let people know if you aren't happy with what they are doing," she replied.

"Ah yes. Whacky Paw," I commented.

"Strangely enough, Whacky Paw wasn't mentioned."

That is indeed strange. There is much art in the correct application of corrective paw and I thought she might have studied correct angle and level of force and when to use claw. (Personally I think a first tap should be without but if they've ignored that then I do use claws and they've only themselves to blame. Josie says claws are for emergencies only.)

Then my mum went to work for the afternoon. In the evening as I wasn't sure just what she would have learned I decided to be careful and I came in early and stayed in so she could have the early night she had promised herself. I did ask to go out as she started brushing her teeth but she said, "You are joking," and I tried to pretend I was.

As we had all gone to bed early Josie and I woke up early too but amused ourselves with a quiet game of tag until mum woke up. (Mum says correction - got up. She couldn't sleep through the tag game but I think she had enough sleeps.)


I did it again

September 23rd 2013 10:35 pm
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When my mum gets home from line dancing Josie and I usually pop out of the front door as she opens it to come inside. We have a few minutes mooching then come and have a snack before bed. Last night Josie mooched and then in but I stayed out. My mum came out and called me and then advanced towards me.

I was quick as anything. I dashed past her and was over the gate before she could do anything. She managed to grab my legs but my silky fur just slid through her fingers.

"Why you little monkey!" she shouted but I've checked and I'm still a cat. Our back garden is dark and filled with good places to hide and holes in fences to slip through so we both knew I had won.

I was merciful and didn't stay out quite so late this time and this morning I haven't gone out. I've stayed with her giving her lots of headrubs and purrs.

"You are in when I want you out and out when I want you in," she grumbled. I know! Cats are just so cool!!


Me in trouble (but it was worth it!)

September 22nd 2013 10:38 pm
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I liked Saturday as my mum was mostly home but I didn't like Sunday so much as she was mostly not home - leaving Josie and me imprisoned. When she got in she said she was much later than she meant to be. She had gone to a friend's for lunch but the trains were all messed up so she spent longer travelling than she did being at her friend's home and now it was nearly bedtime.

"Can we go out just for a little while?" we asked. Mum said yes as she would have some cocoa before bed but we were to come back when called or was it to stay out for as long as we liked? As soon as I felt the night's adventures call me I forgot which.

Josie went in of her own accord as she is a goodie-two-paws but I was having a brilliant time. I heard my mum call me more than once but I felt as if I had only just gone out so ignored her.

Josie says that my mum did call and call and then said to herself that she would get ready for bed and no doubt I would come then so she did and I didn't. Then my mum muttered about being tired and if she went to bed I would wake her when I was ready to come in and many cats stay out at night without ill effect.

But Josie said despite her attempts to reassure my mum no sleep was to be had and about midnight my mum got up and called me again. I did come back that time, keen to share all my adventures. Mum went to bed and was pretending to sleep but I needed some of her time so I poked her and mewed until she stroked me and listened to my stories.

She is tired and grumpy this morning and says I will not be allowed out at night again. I hope she's joking!


Mum's sleepy time

September 19th 2013 10:43 pm
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Yesterday morning my mum was up and awake real early. She said that she was off away to an event. We never mind an early breakfast.

When she came back she said it was good but that she was rather tired so would have a little sleep before going out again. She settled herself down on the sofa and closed her eyes. Then Josie said that she was rather tired too and could do with a little sleep so up she jumped on to my mum's legs and settled herself down and closed her eyes.

And she felt so warmedly and content she did what we all do at such moments. A gentle rumble of purr and off went the paws, first one paddy paw then the other, into the soft inviting fabric of mum's trouser leg.

After a while my mum asked her if she could please stop. It was hard to sleep with needle-sharp claws rhythmically cutting in to her. Josie apologised and did stop and settled herself back on mum's legs. And then she realised that this was the perfect moment for a bit of a wash.

Lick, lick, lick, re-arrange body, lick, lick, lick, move around again. All very peaceful but apparently it's hard for my mum to sleep with a cat continually moving around on her too. She is so very fussy.

So Josie sighed and settled herself quietly once more. They both closed their eyes again and waited and then heard another noise. It was me scrabbling at the door to be let in.

"That's it," said my mum. "I give up." She came and let me in of course. She loves me.

We did let her sleep when she was home once more and it was properly bedtime. I think we only woke her up once each in the night. We spoil her really.


My name is Toby

September 18th 2013 10:07 pm
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Not, as my mum called me last night, Mr.Cobweb Head.


"You should see yourself."

Josie came to look at me and laughed. In my adventuring I had wandered through some pretty scary places but I hadn't realised that I had picked up quite so much stuff on me.

Luckily my mum loves me anyway. I jumped up beside her for some snugglies.

"I don't want to touch you like that," she said. "Have a wash." But love first, then wash. That looks like affection but had the real advantage that I could rub off most of the cobwebs on her first. She wasn't so impressed but it did make the washing easier.

Josie is never a Cobweb Head Cat on account of being a lady and not going cobwebby places. She is called Princess or Poppet. Princess because we think she might actually be one and Poppet because one day, when she was small, she typed her own e-mail and she wrote "popopopop oooooooo!" (I think my mum added the punctuation.)

I think being called Mr Cobweb Head a small price to pay for all the fun I had in the garden.


Josie in trouble once more

September 17th 2013 10:44 pm
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Tuesday night is mum's cosy night in which we all love. It's even cosier when the rain is pouring down outside like it was last night.

My mum was watching a TV show with one of her favourite actors in and was muttering, "Oh - he's gorgeous" and Josie and I were snoozing on the arm of the sofa and everything was perfectly happy.

My mum gave a contented sigh but said, "There's just one thing that would make this scene perfect."

"A large bowl of tuna fish?" I asked.

"No," said my mum. "I wish I had a nice cup of tea. I want to go and make one but I don't want Josie to take my seat."

She looked at Josie. Josie nestled face into paw with the air of a cat who would never steal someone's seat.

"I'll risk it," said my mum. "Neither of you move a muscle."

Off she trotted and we heard the click of the kettle.

Josie opened her eyes and looked at mum's cushion. "I could just keep it warm for her. Shame to let that lovely warm go to waste."

Down she jumped. "Mmmm," she said and snuggled herself into the toasty softness. She curled herself up and was asleep in seconds, or at least pretending to be.

Mum returned mug in hand and looked at Josie. I knew my lines. "Shhh. She's sleeping." Mum muttered at the cheekiness of her tortie cat but went and sat at the other end of the sofa. We have made progress with her training.


Josie's naughty paw

September 16th 2013 10:40 pm
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Yesterday my mum was late home from work and it felt like no time at all but she was off dancing - which meant very little garden time for me so my mum had only herself to blame when she got in from that and I was Turbo Toby. Our flat is small but I make the most of it and I was dashing about, here, there and everywhere and Josie got all swept up in the excitement and was dashing about as well.

Now all this dashing about is thirsty work so I ran to mum's bedside table for some water but our glass wasn't there only mum's. Mum's stupid glass which is narrow and not much in but if that was all there was I was going to get some somehow.

I was trying to push my face in and/or dip a paw in when mum noticed. "Hang on Toby. Your glass is in the kitchen. I was washing it up." She scurried off, ever eager to please me, and I heard the tap running and then she rushed back to me. Then, "OOoooooh! What was that?"

A snigger from Josie as mum looked at her. Josie had perched herself on the drawers behind the bedroom door and as mum hurried past Whacky Paw! Smack on mum's arm. While she was busy bringing me water. "Tag," called Josie. "You're it."

She scurried off hoping my mum would chase her. But mum just laughed, gave me my water for which I was very grateful and announced it was time for us all to be sleepy. You think she would know us better by now!!


Mum in the garden

September 16th 2013 12:20 am
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Even though it's been a bit cold and wet I still like to go out and hunt and I like it best when my mum comes too. On Sunday morning she was with me but she was digging holes. I went over to take a look.

"I'm not sure those will be big enough for you?" I commented. I could see she was new to this.

"They are big enough for what I need," she replied and grabbing an onion from a bag next to her she buried it.

I had to ask. "When did you realise onions should be buried? And wouldn't it be easier just to not buy them in the first place?" Mum likes to eat onions but Josie and I hate them. They smell evil.

"They aren't onions. They're daffodils" she said.

"They aren't daffodils. Daffodils are happy sunny flowers that wave at us after winter."

"They are bulbs. I'll plant them now and in the sSpring they'll flower," she said. "Hopefully," she added. My mum's hit rate with gardening is not that great.

I couldn't wait to go out and check on them this morning but I'm sorry to report there's nothing to see. Mum says not to worry - it will be some months before they grow.


Genius cat

September 12th 2013 10:40 pm
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Mostly when I am outside and I hear my mum calling me I do go in. Sometimes it's funny to run to the little door and then hover just out of reach, giving it a good sniff and listening to her call me, trying to pretend she doesn't mind if I come in or not, only for cats that do there's treats.

And here we come to the important thing. The reason I come in is because I get treats when I do. I am not interested in the "What a good boy!" I run straight to my treat drawer and wait.

Sure enough mum slides the door open, out comes a bag and there are my treats. We both know if it wasn't for the treats I probably wouldn't come.

So there we were last night and mum gave me some chicken Dreamies. I gave them a sniff.

"I don't like those ones."

She looked at me in dismay.

"You did this morning." I could see her brain working overtime. If I didn't get treats I liked would I come when called? She riffled in the drawer again.

"How about a kitty stick?" she broke one up for me. I sniffed it.


More riffling. "How about crunchy fish?"

I sniffed them.

"Your offering is acceptable" and started munching my way through my feast. For this is the genius part. If I had accepted the first option I would just have had the Dreamies, now I had three piles of goodies to work through. Of course I love chicken dreamies - along with kitty sticks and crunchy fish. I gobbled up the lot.

Josie, who is generally to be found within a few feet of my mum, doesn't get three little heaps of treats (although she did get some.) That is what makes me a genius cat!


A fearsome noise

September 11th 2013 10:38 pm
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Josie and I were both snoozing last night and my mum was sitting on the sofa playing with her gadget.

"Oh cool!" she muttered. "Lots of different restful noises."

We heard Babbling Brook, Ocean Wave, Forest Walk and enormous rumble filled the room.

The largest cat in the world was with us and he was purring. Josie and I both woke up instantly and were looking all around. Where was this noisy purrer? Why was he so happy? A cat that purred so loudly had to be gigantic but there was not so much as a whisker in sight. Was there an enormous invisible cat on mum's lap?

I would not like such a flat-mate. You cannot sleep with such thoughts in your mind.

Then my mum noticed us both and said, "Sorry. Looks like Purring Cat won't be one of my restful sounds."

She tapped her gadget and it stopped. It was just a noise in the machine.

I shot her a fierce look and settled back down to sleep. Why does she need a machine that purrs when she has me and Josie? She is so thoughtless sometimes.

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