Toby's Diary

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Josie being cosy

May 15th 2013 10:43 pm
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Yesterday evening I was chatting with my mum when Josie strolled in. She jumped up beside my mum and said, "You look very comfy there."

Mum smiled. "Your timing is perfect. I have my book. I have my cup of tea. I have the TV remote. I have nowhere I have to go." Mum patted her legs. "Lap time and no lap top!"

Josie sniffed mum's legs and then went behind mum.

"That's a lovely cushion you're sitting on" she commented.

"Very soft, yes" agreed mum.

"I would like to sit on there too." And Josie started to wiggle behind mum to see how much cushion she could fit on.

Mum sighed and moved across leaving a lovely warmed, soft, mum-scented place for Josie to sleep. Josie was delighted and mum wanted to know why her lap was so desirable when the time was bad but not now. But Josie had falled asleep and couldn't say.

Mum and I had been talking about Nahid. Nahid had phoned my mum to say how much she loved her card. She said it was the most beautiful yet. I'm still glad I didn't sign it though. As Laura-Belle wisely pointed out I might have been agreeing to anything. Maybe Nahid wants me for her cat. Maybe I would be agreeing to give her kitty kisses every day like I do my mum and I'm not sure I would have time besides not knowing the way to her home.

But mum was saying could I ask for my Catster friends to purr for Mojo who is one of Nahid's cats. Tomorrow he has an operation on his thyroid. He's an elderly cat and Nahid is very worried about him so mum promised she would ask for some of our amazingly powerful Catster purrs. So please can you purr for him? Thank you.


Our morning routine

May 14th 2013 10:41 pm
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Normally we wake our mum up and she mutters at us until her clock joins in and then she gets up. She gives us our breakfast and then I go out on patrol while she has her shower and eats her breakfast. By the time I've checked all round the garden and know everything is Ok mum has her muesli finished and I get the rest of the milk while she puts her laptop on her lap and takes my dictation for my diary.

Today it is still too damp to go out so I was ready for my milk early. Instead of being impressed with my efficiency mum kept pushing my head away and saying she hadn't finished with her bowl yet. I thought that was rude.

Then eventually she finished and I got my milk and then out came the laptop. She started typing and all was well - until Josie came up.

"Could I go on your lap?"

Mum looked at the laptop and looked at the cat and said, "Not really. There isn't room."

Josie looked at the laptop and she looked at the lap and decided mum was wrong about that. There was a sliver of lap she could see and she could squeeze on there. So she did and tried hard to lie down in the available room.

Mum pushed the laptop away and is typing this with one hand and clinging on to the laptop with the other. Josie is purring with the pleasure of being there and being right.

Josie does like a lap occasionally. I say laps are for kittens. Mum asked "what are tummy rubs for then?"

"Fierce tigers like me!"

Sometimes we like to change our morning routine.



May 13th 2013 10:37 pm
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We have a thing which is called a dehumidifier. Mostly it sits and hums to itself and doesn't bother anyone. Every now and then it stops and mum takes a load of water out of it and that's about it.

A few weeks ago it started grumbling that it was getting too old. Mum knocked it about a bit and it was Ok but on Sunday the grumbles grew into loud bangy sounds. Mum tried banging back but it kept going.

"That's not good" mum said. And she was right. You couldn't sleep through that.

So yesterday she came home late from work with a brand new one.

She unpacked it and plugged it in and I expect that's the last time I'll ever mention it.

But what I found was the white blocks it came packed in. If I scritched them with a claw they make an amazing squeaking sound. I never heard anything like it and had to keep doing it.

"Toby! Stop that" Mum is no appreciator of the squeak. I tried something new. The texture was sort of soft. If I dug a claw in could I? I could. Bits flaked off. The gift that keeps giving.

But mum stopped me doing that well. She scooped the pieces up and put them out of reach. She said she was worried I would flake a piece off and eat it. As if I would do anything so foolish. Maybe just a nibble to see what it was like but not proper eating.

Meanwhile Josie was adopting the big box that it had come in. We lost the banging of the old dehumidifier to get the banging of tortie cat sliding to the back of a box. Josie gets to keep her box. "For now" said mum. She worries we have too many toys and boxes cluttering up the place. Given how tolerant we are of her chairs and tables and stuff in our way I don't know how she can say that.


Where pawprints go

May 12th 2013 10:42 pm
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On Saturday mum went off scrapbooking. She said it was a good day for craft stuff as the forecast was rain and boy did it rain! We were very happy to be snug and dry indoors.

When mum came back we wanted to see what she had done.

"Did you do a picture of me?" we both wanted to know. And she had done one of each of us so we were both happy. She had also made Nahid's birthday card - now she just needed to write in it.

It had stopped raining so I went out for a mosey round the garden. When I came back in I narrowly missed stepping on something; I had to do an extra long leap in to avoid it. What was that piece of paper doing on the floor anyway?

Mum picked it up and put it down in front of me.

"It's Nahid's card. I would really like you to put a muddy paw print on it. That would be cute."

I sniffed it suspiciously.

"Shouldn't Josie be the one that signs it?" I asked.

Then "OK, you're right." We both know that Josie doesn't go out if there's a risk of getting her paws muddy.

But no. I decided - my paw prints are too precious to stamp at mum's whim. I walked off. Mum moved the card in front of me but I side-stepped it.

Then she picked me up and put me down right on it. No avoiding it this time. Paw right in the middle.

We both looked at the result.

"How did you do that?" asked mum.

I had left a perfect trail of pawprints across the kitchen floor but in the brief spell of conversation and a few steps on the carpet - miraculously dry, clean paws. No paw print.

"You'll have to draw one on like you usually do," I said and off I went leaving mum scratching her head. I can walk far further than that indoors and still leave paw prints on the bed linen. Mum doesn't just leave her signature anywhere, only where she wants it. Same for me and my pawprints.

On another note Mum saw Dee on Sunday and told her how outraged the Catster cats were on her behalf following her ordeal at the paws of scary dog and she is grateful for the purrs. She does have her phone back but her neighbour has not fixed the fence. She has put a bench up against it so the dogs can't jump through but they poke their faces through to see what she is up to and she wishes they wouldn't. Stoopy dogs!!


Brain Train

May 9th 2013 10:35 pm
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We are fond of my mum but she's not clever like a cat and sometimes needs help with the simplest things - recognising meal opportunities for us, understanding basic meows, knowing when the correct time to stop petting us is - that sort of thing.

Anyway she seems to have understood help was needed as she has started a brain training programme. Mostly it is very dull, she clicks and mutters and I'm not sure she's getting any cleverer but yesterday there was a game I liked.

Little fish swim about a pond and mum had to tap them one by one to give them their fish food. They swam all over and she had to keep track of which had already been tapped. Now if you want swimming fish tapping there's one cat you need to call - Me!

Now we've touched on my mum's lack of gratitude for assistance before.

"That one" I would confidently smack the screen.

"Toby! Move your paw. I can't see what I'm doing."

"It's swum away now. It's that one" - another helpful tap.

She pushed my paw off the screen and interesting lights flashed up. The computer knows a genius when it sees one.

So I am not allowed to help brain training any more. Mum will just have to stay puny minded. Luckily she has me and Josie to compensate.


My moth

May 8th 2013 10:40 pm
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Yesterday I played indoors. I played with Da Bird and then Josie and I both chased the red dot and then I spotted something even better. A moth!

I love the way they flitter and flutter and I was going to get this one. Excellent. I left Josie and mum to the red dot thing; I had real prey.

Then it stopped. It flew to the ceiling and just sat there.

"Mum," I called.


"MUM" - a louder meow. She clearly hadn't grasped the urgency of the situation.

She came out into the hall and looked where I looked.


Luckily she had da Bird in her hand and he comes on a long stick. She reached up with the stick and poked the moth and he was off again. Mum went back to her sofa.

Then he stopped flittering again.

"Mum - come and make him flutter"

To be fair to her the first few times she did but the gaps before he stopped again got shorter and I think she got a bit fed up.

"Can't you find your own entertainment?"

"I did. My moth"

"I think he's had enough now. Come back and play with your toys"

But I wanted that moth. If sheer staring could bring a moth down he would have been in my paws. Sadly it can't and then it was bedtime.

I can't find him this morning. Mum says not to worry - there'll be plenty more.


We have a new rule

May 7th 2013 10:38 pm
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Are mums really allowed to do that? Just introduce new rules at random?

We already have one and I have enough trouble with that. We are not supposed to go on the kitchen sides when mum can see us. There are interesting things up there that need sniffing but we have to wait until she is out or, at least, in another room. But now we have another one to remember.

Last night was a beautiful evening and I was having amazing adventures in the garden chasing dragons and the like but I had to come in when mum went to bed. (That's another rule but I don't have to remember that one as mum calls me and then locks the door.)

So in I came and tried to settle. Josie went to her bed and mum settled down and I could see she was sleeping but my head was still full of the fearsome prey I had chased. Then I saw it, s strange creature flibbing about on mum's bed.

That could give her a nasty bite. Lucky I was awake to take care of the situation. In one bound I was over there and grabbed the thing before it could flee.

"Owweeeeiii" said my mum - and pulled her hand away.

"Was that your hand?" I asked, feeling a little foolish if I'm honest.

"It was," she said, all grumpy and not at all grateful that I might have saved her from a thing. "Toby - you must check if moving things are attached to me before you pounce. Having your hand grabbed is no way to wake up."

That's two whole rules to remember. I'll try!

Today it is raining so I'm glad I had so many adventures yesterday when it was sunny.


A scary dog story

May 6th 2013 10:40 pm
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It was a beautifully sunny day yesterday and Josie and I took it in turns to toast ourselves on our bed. Mum says there is nothing more relaxed than a cat sleeping in sunshine and I have to agree, we do it rather well.

In the afternoon mum went out and she came back much later than she had said and she had this story to tell.

She went to see my friend Dee who lives in the next road to us. Dee's neighbour breeds big, scary dogs that people buy as guard dogs. We can hear them bark from our home and they would definitely scare us.

Dee had been in her garden, making everything nice for when my mum went round and suddenly she heard a nom, nom, crash, crunch. One of the dogs was tearing her fence to pieces. The dog pulled a big hole in the fence and jumped through it. Dee ran as fast as she could out of her garden leaving her phone on the garden bench and everything else as it was.

The dog was on a chain so couldn't go far but Dee has a small garden so couldn't go back in. She knocked at the neighbours but he was out.

So then my mum arrived happily looking forward to an afternoon sitting in the sunshine but they had to go indoors. The dog settled itself down to sleep. At one point they heard some barking and the dog had jumped back through the hole to tell its mates of its adventure.

Mum and Dee crept down to try and retreive the phone. They peeped over the gate and all was still but as soon as they tried to open it there was more barking and the dog jumped through again.

Mum knows cats better than she knows dogs. She didn't think the dog wanted a fight - it wasn't growling and its ears were upright. But it wasn't waggy tailed and it was very large so she didn't want to risk getting close.

Dee was very grumpy so my mum stayed to cheer her up and think what they would do if the neighbour didn't come home that night. Mum had some plans involving dog food although who did the distracting and who grabbed the phone was never established.

Luckily the owner did come home. As soon as he arrived the dog jumped back for its dinner but the man is going to repair the fence.

Then mum came home. She said the man has to make good the dog's damage as the law holds people responsible for their dog's actions.

"What about cats?" I asked.

"No, the law knows that no-one can control a cat." The law is correct on that one! Anyway what self-respecting cat would gnaw through a neighbour's fence?

So that was mum's adventure with the dog. I'm glad it was her and not me.


Josie's birthday

May 5th 2013 11:27 pm
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We love birthdays!!!

My mum asked Josie what she would like to do on her special day. Josie thought very hard - this is not a question to be wasted. What Josie wanted to do was play lots of pokey paw games and then have a long sleep on mum's lap. So that's what we did. Well, I didn't sleep on mum's lap. I don't really like to do that. But Josie did and I snoozed on my bed and it was voted a pretty perfect day all round.

Josie doesn't have her present yet. She wanted something quite particular and mum hasn't been to that shop yet. She did get some of her favourite treats though and we all had special dinner.

I thought the day would end badly. Mum went out in a special dress and didn't come back until really late. Even though she didn't have big bag the memory of last weekend hanuted me. What if she didn't come home?

I sat in the window as dark time came and waited. I was so happy when I saw her car pull up and watched her walk down the path. She had been to a wedding.

No work for my mum today. It's a Bank Holiday so more play time and sleep time and mum has promised no weddings. It's a bonus Josie birthday day!!


Josie the model cat

May 2nd 2013 10:33 pm
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Mum said to Josie that now it is May it is nearly time for Nahid's birthday. Mum always makes Nahid a card with a photo of Josie on. Mum said she had an idea and needed Josie to pose like she was sniffing a flower.

Josie tried but couldn't quite imagine that so mum got a wooden tulip and propped it up in our pokey paw box and asked Josie to sniff that.

Josie rubbed her head against it to give it a scent worth sniffing - which knocked it down. Mum propped it up again. Josie pushed it down again. Mum propped it up again. Josie started chewing its wooden leaves. Mum sighed.

The upshot is that mum has a number of photos none of which she is sure whether she can use.

I did think Nahid might like to have me instead this year on her card but as it was Nahid who looked after Josie when she was a stray and found my mum for her mum thinks Nahid will like a Josie picture best.

Other than that all is well. We are having lovely sunshine and I'm happily shedding my winter coat. Mum brushed me and brushed me yesterday and then said, "That should be all of it", gave me a stroke and looked in dismay as a handful of fur fluttered down. It is true. I do have an infinite supply of loose hairs right now. I love Spring!

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