Toby's Diary

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Working on mum's training

October 8th 2015 10:25 pm
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I came running into the sitting room last night and found my mum sitting on the sofa, eating her supper.

I jumped up on to the arm of the sofa.

"Hello Toby," she said, and scritched my ear.

I jumped down again. "You have to come quickly, there's an emergency happening."

"Ive fed you," she said.

Oh dear, it was going to be one of those conversations. I looked at her, pleading with her to understand.

"Follow me. I need you in the kitchen."

Well finally she got it, moved her tray to one side and got up. I ran ahead to show her the location of the emergency.

There was a silence as she took in the scene.

"So you got me to leave my hot food, abandon my sofa, follow you here because you want me to open your cat flap?"

"That's right." She's not the sharpest claw on the paw but she gets there in the end.

"The cat flap that is specifically designed so you can open it yourself?"

"Yes, that one," I was still poised, waiting for it to open.

"The one you go through many times on your own?"

"Still waiting..."

A heavy sigh. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

I could. The door was held open and at last I could escape to the wilderness beyond.

She's still a work in progress. That all took longer than it should have but a satisfactory result nonetheless.


October 7th 2015 10:43 pm
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Josie and I aren't allowed out of the front door so naturally it is an area of complete fascination for us. It's where upstairs have their bins and they smell most interesting to a cat with an inquiring mind.

What we generally do is ping out when my mum comes home and she has to call us back. Yesterday we were not minded to return.

"Come on, cats," she called, "Don't let the bugs in."

For as she stood there, door in hand, various winged insects were streaming past her, drawn to the light.

We trotted back but later realised our error. We should have let more in. Bugs in are awesome. All the joy of chasing them as they bobble about combined with the comfort of our own home. What could be better?

Oh - mum says it would be better if we caught a few more of the dratted things. Ambitious leaping we do well; the actual catching, not so much. But, cat rule number one, the thrill is in the hunt, not the catch!


The noisiest noise

October 6th 2015 10:43 pm
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Tuesday is mum's quiet night in and when it's wet and dark outside everyone likes a quiet night in. Like last night. Picture the scene if you will. My mum settled back, cup of tea in hand and happy TV programme on; Josie curled up by her side in a neat ball, me perched on the arm of the sofa enjoying the occasional caress. A scene of blissful domestic peace.

And then it started!!

A strange grinding, wheezing, groaning.

I looked at my mum in alarm.

"Have they bought a chain saw upstairs?", reviewing my opinion of them as quiet neighbours.

"No," said my mum. "Josie is snoring."

I looked across. Sure enough that cat was still contentedly asleep, oblivious to the volume of her breathing.

"Can you stop her?" I asked.

"I could but I think it's rather cute," said my mum.

Mums are weird. Josie did stop herself after a while, woke up reporting the strangest dreams. Josie is weird too.

After such a peaceful evening Josie and I were both pretty lively and had the best game of tag at about 4 this morning so I am going to let her stay despite the snoring. My mum isn't so sure about either of us at the moment!!


More than that

October 5th 2015 10:50 pm
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It's dark when we all get up now. Us cats don't mind of course, still happy to get out there and patrol our territory but my mum no longer draws the curtains and says "What a lovely day!" in the morning.

No, for my mum has another way to know what the weather is like.

I came back in this morning and she stroked me and instead of her usual greeting she felt my dry fur and said, "Ah good. Not raining this morning."

So we have my sparkling wit and wisdom, my rugged good looks (ignore Josie's snort there), my general awesomeness but all my mum sees is a handy weather checker.

I am so much more than this.

Josie suggested I dry myself off and trick mum next time it's raining but that would remove an opportunity to spread my paw prints so not an option. Everything looks better with my muddy paw prints on.


Everything is OK

October 4th 2015 10:31 pm
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My mum was a bit stressed late last week. She went off to work on Friday and an hour or so later was home again. I was delighted to see her back, concluding that she had been pining for us, but the reality was the car.

"The car has a massive problem with its brakes. I took it to the garage and it's going to be very expensive," she sat down on the sofa, sadly.

I jumped up next to her. "Will we able to eat?"

"We are stocked up on cat good and kitty litter and treats. You'll be fine," she assured me.

I squiggled myself beside her so she could rub my furry belly.

"So everything is OK then," I purred.

She smiled. "It's going to be a tight month but you're right. As long as we have each other then everything is going to be OK."

Proof, were it needed, that my fuzzy belly can help in any situation!

Talking of helping - the Catster Family are the awesomest! I love that we purr for each other when we're sick and laugh at each other's mischief and share the happy when we have the good times. Catster has been through a lot with the site and there are still fleas to sort out but I'm proud of all my friends who have stuck with it.

I just read Timo Katze's lovely words about my diary and I'm blushing. Thank you to Timo.


Cop Shows

October 1st 2015 10:53 pm
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Sometimes, like last night, my mum likes to watch the real life cop shows. I do too. She likes to see the bad people get caught and face the consequences of their actions.

I like to see the police dogs in action. They are out there in all weathers, putting their lives on the line to protect their humans, facing the worst types of people.

And I'm on my sofa, safe with my mum, all warm and toasty.

Ha ha Ha!! Cats are very evidently the more intelligent species. Mum argues that the opposite is true but I think the facts speak for themselves.


Cheeky Josie

September 30th 2015 10:18 pm
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Yesterday evening my mum came in and she smoothed down the cushions on the sofa, all comfy and nice.

"Thank you, that looks lovely," said Josie, jumping off the back of the sofa, looking forward to settling on such a lovingly prepared bed.

"Ah hem!" said my mum, who had also been looking forward to settling for the evening on her freshly plumped cushions.

There was an awkward stand-off as both looked at each other, waiting for the other to back down.

Unusually it was Josie who moved away first. I think my mum had a tiring day at work and her face was taking no nonsense.

Josie had to retreat back to our blanket which my mum leaves folded on the back of the sofa for us. (Oh - she reckons it's for her to snuggle under on cold winter evenings but we have appropriated it. Us cats are good at appropriating things!)


Cats have extra-sensitive senses

September 29th 2015 10:31 pm
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That's how I knew.

There can be few pleasures quite so delicious as a soft cushion in a sunbeam and that's where I was yesterday, curled up, being gently toasted by the sun, when I knew. I just knew I was being watched.

I opened my eyes and I was right. My mum was looking at me.

She smiled. "Just admiring you," she said.

"There is much to admire," I agreed.

"I was thinking how cute you look, a perfect round of black fur. Anyone would think you are such a sweet little cat." There was a pause. "Whereas I know you are a complete monster!"

That was harsh. I do believe in speaking up when things are wrong and that everyone else is here to do my bidding but that makes me top cat, not a monster. Mum and Josie would be lost without me.


It should have been good

September 28th 2015 10:55 pm
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but it wasn't!

Yesterday my mum did not go to work. She said she has holiday to use up. Excellent news! Or so I thought. I proposed my plans for the day. "Firstly an extra long petting session. Then chasey games in the garden (for the sun was shining). Then all in for more petting, a spot of lunch and a siesta. Does that sound like an excellent day or what??!!"

But my mum had other plans. I'm not going to say whose fault it was (but it's usually Josie that lurks there) and my mum had noticed that under her bed had got rather, well, furry. So she had everything out and moved and was sweeping and brushing and spraying which is not at all the kind of activity us cats like.

Josie supervised at first but found it too distressing to see her sanctuary disrupted like that.

Lots went back but lots went in the bin. My mum was well-satisfied; Josie not so much but she did go back there last night to restore the fur. It may take some years but she can re-build.


Our new neighbours

September 27th 2015 11:05 pm
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People have moved in - we don't know how many but some of them are definitely those miniature people which are called children. We hear their feet running around.

My mum says as they all seem to settle quietly in the evening and she can sleep at night that's fine by her.

"Ah hem!"


"Some of us sleep in the day as well as in the night."

She looked at me like she has never been known to settle down on the sofa for forty-winks of an afternoon. (We've taught her well. She appreciates a good cat nap.)

"They're old enough to go to school. You'll be fine."

I just hope they like cats. Unbelievably there are people out there who don't.

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