SEPARATION ANXIETY QUESTION - COMMENTS WELCOMED! - Here's a question for all you cats out there. My

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SEPARATION ANXIETY QUESTION - COMMENTS WELCOMED!

May 26th 2011 6:20 am
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Here's a question for all you cats out there. My mama will be taking a short trip in a month or two - no more than a week or so. But here's the problem. Since she rescued me almost 7 months ago, she hasn't been out of my sight for more than half a day. And I am SO attached to her. I've gotten used to her going to work - sort of. At least, she THINKS I have! I've got my sister here, after all, and now we've got the cattery we can go out into - at least we can when it's not 40 degrees and RAINING - GRRRRRRRRR!!! And, even more importantly, the Papa will still be here to give us lovings and food and head scritches. (He likes to hug, too, but Sleeper likes that better than me. I don't tell him that, though, 'cause I don't want to hurt his feelings - MOL!!!

But he's NOT THE MAMA. Sleeper is his baby; the Mama is MINE! And she's feeling a little uncomfortable about me being too dependent. As an example: their past days off, the Mama and Papa were both here puttering around the house. Sleeper and I were both in the cattery and she came out to play with us for a bit. Then she walked around the side of the house - I thought she was going inside, so I bolted through the catdoor to meet her inside, but she wasn't there! She'd walked out to the garden while I was headed inside. The Papa went out to tell her where she was digging vegie beds, that I was pacing up and down in front of the door, meowing my head off, looking for her!!!

The Mama decided I needed to actually see her walk towards the garden, then I would know - like when Sleeper and I watch them walk to the car to leave in the morning, and they tell us "Going to work now. See you in the evening!" Then we don't worry. So, she did that, and I settled down.

But what will it be like when she walks to the car, and then DOESN'T COME BACK?! I don't have any concept of what a week is. If she tells me she'll be back, and she doesn't come back, what then? Any one have any suggestions on how to handle separation anxiety?

Purred by: ZACK (Catster Member)

May 26th 2011 at 7:38 am

Our Angel Rocky Ann was like that with our Mommy. Daddy said even when she went out for her hour walks, RA would be crying for her at the door.

Mommy is thinking that after your Mama initially leaves, after that first day, you might be ok with Papa and Sleeper, even though you will probably look around for your Mama. I would suggest to your Mama to leave articles of her clothing around for you to smell and sleep on like a robe or nitegown. Maybe you could record your voice for Papa to play for you to hear (unless that might be confusing) or if you call in on the phone and you hear her voice.

Will be interesting what your Papa says happens that week! Whatever happens, you will give your Mama a very good homecoming and be super happy to see her back. So tell your Mama to enjoy her week.

Hopefully others will have better suggestions.

Love,
Zack

Purred by: Ingen (Catster Member)

May 26th 2011 at 8:35 am

Yer daddy is gonna have a ruff time while yer mama is gone. You has alla stuffs you knows 'round you (yer sisfur, yer cattery, yer daddy). You will miss yer mama but it be ok.

Purred by: Tink the Cat (Catster Member)

May 26th 2011 at 9:14 am

My mom thinks that you have got to do this at some point, because it will help you to start trusting that she will ALWAYS come back. Just like she does for work, she needs to make sure you see her driving off in the car. You may get lonely in the middle of the night when everything is too quiet, but you guys do that anyway! When you begin to notice daddy is always feeding you instead of mommy, it will sink in, and you may wonder, but you will need to be distracted into more play, and since you're so young, this should take care of most of it.
Your daddy will learn to recognize the very hollow-sounding lonely-meow, if he hasn't already, and extra attention & holding will be called-for. A "Poor, deprived kitty!" or "Do you miss your mommy?" will go a long way! After all, you are just confused and you want to be understood.
The homecoming will be the best part, and the next time will be easier, because you will know that she's coming back, you just won't know when.
This whole thing will also strengthen your relationship with daddy.
Hang in there, sweetie, all your furriends will be right here to help you get thru it!! Luv, Tink

Purred by: Tigger/ IN LOVING MEMORY (Catster Member)

May 26th 2011 at 12:18 pm

All the above are very good advice!!!I'd
do that if I was you!! Good luck Samhain!!

Purred by: ❀ Jezebel DG 29 ❀ (Catster Member)

May 26th 2011 at 10:43 pm

Just tell your daddy you'll be needing some extra lovings that week.

Purred by: Samhain (Catster Member)

May 27th 2011 at 7:29 am

Thanks, guys! Popeye also suggested Feliway, which Mama got for us 2 months or so ago with good results. We'll let you know afterwards how things went. Won't be for a month or so - maybe I will have grown up more by then and not be such a clingy baby - MOL!!! (But Mama secretly loves it!)

Purred by: Toki (Catster Member)

May 27th 2011 at 5:59 pm

I think those suggestions are good too. It will be hard, but you will be ok.
Maybe, if your dad doesn't already feed the both of you sometimes, he should do that before your mom leaves so you get used to that as well.
It's funny about how we feel when our moms and dads go out. Whether to work or whatever. My mom's old cat before me, and I hate it when mom puts on any high clickety click shoes because it means she is going out at night.