I HAVE A COMPLAINT

It is snowing...AGAIN. (sigh)
This is no longer amusing.
End of story.

THE REAL SCOOP

OK, everyone's always talking about poop on Catster, so I guess I will add my "two-cents worth":

There is nothing so freeing, so satisfying, as being able to do one's business au naturale - that is, out in the open, under the great blue sky.
To paw that raw earth, let loose, and then cover with the real thing - dirt, grass and dead leaves. Oh yeah. Thanks, Mama, for bringing me out here.
[She says I'm very welcome - one less poop to scoop!] Hehehe...

THE GREAT ESCAPE

There’s a special irony to this story, as the Mama was just saying to Zach’s Mom a few days ago that it would take a gorilla on steroids to break into the cattery. Yeah, well…or one small grey tom-tabby to break OUT!

Yesterday - strictly by fortunate chance, I’ll point out - the Mama was outside and wandering over towards the cattery, she was startled to see a grey kitten climbing up the mesh. Wait a minute…that cat’s on the OUTSIDE of the pen! And it’s OWL!!!!!!!!!!!

She ran over there and, after a little persuasion, got him to come to her. In his defense, he was trying to get back in when she saw him, but was a little weirded-out and scared to find himself on the wrong side of the fence.

She took him back in the house and she and the Papa came back to look for the exit hole, only to find Fearless on the outside now! Fortune smiled again, and Fearless didn’t do what she normally would do, which is high-tail it down towards the ruins where she likes to go on her leash-walks. So, they scooped her back up and put her in the pen, still not seeing any visible holes in the fence. Until they looked closer…

The wire mesh on the cattery fence came in rolls which are 4 foot wide, so in constructing the mesh walls, it was necessary to overlap slightly and then fasten it closed with plastic cable-ties. You know - those things that have the little teeth that grab hold when you zip the end through the loop. Well, it seems that after 2 years of outdoor weather and the repeated wear put on them by the Ferals who like to climb up the side of the cattery and sit on top (!), some of the ties have broken. And on closer inspection, the pawrents could see where the two smaller cats were able to worm their way out.

So, now they have bought fresh cable ties, and are resolved to replace them every year or two. Dang! And I didn’t even get to make an escape myself!

JEZEBEL - NOBODY DOES IT BETTER

You may have heard by now; after all, this is, like, an historic event!
Drum roll, please… Jezebel Dreamgirl #29 is turning 20!!!

That’s right, folks. That svelte, petite 7 lb (7 lbs???) tortie beauty, member of Catster since 2009, 1000’s of friends, winner of too many awards to mention – including CAT OF THE WEEK (they’ve never made ME Cat of the Week…), never met a Fancy Feast she didn’t like – THAT Jezebel.

In honor of this occasion, we have sent our best covert operative to get the juicy details on the Diva. Give a bow, Mister Zachery Byrne (Who’s your Daddy!!!) Bond ! The results he came up with are interesting and revealing, to say the least. Here are a few of Zach’s notes and photos:

Whitley dog and Jez

The April fools day joke 2009 "I hate Fancy Feast now" diary – the real story is very different. Apparently, she has friends with connections…

Her idol: "Definitely Bucky Katt from Get Fuzzy. There's a cat with attitude!" …and an appetite.
Bucky Katt

Was Maurice really to blame?!

[Link to the Christmas diary here.]

The truth will out…"Well, I broke my good record when I decided to spray a pair of shorts and some laundry. I don't see why they blame ME, Maurice was the one who used MY litterbox? How am I supposed to use it after that, even if it has been cleaned???"

She's a not so great escape artist (always getting caught now that she's older) – Zach missed getting this shot because he fell off the trashcan…

One final photo collected just to let you know our Jez can relax and have a good time like the rest of us:
Jez lets her hair down

A very Happy FancyFeast-filled Birthday, Jezebel!!!

COUPLE OF NEWS ITEMS

Samhain OFC (Official Family Chronicler), here. Couple of things to report. We’ve sort of held off reporting this one: Socks got sprayed by a skunk.
You heard me right – the big boy, not too long on brains – even if he is drop dead gorgeous – apparently didn’t have sense enough to back off from Mr Stripey and was face to face…so to speak…with a perturbed skunk. The good news: he’s smell-free - pretty much – after 3 days or so. The pawrents told him he had to stay outside, but lucky for him, it coincided with the brief warm-up we had. Not that it would have mattered much to him, I think. He doesn’t appear phased at all by cold – all that Nordic blood (did I mention the Mama calls him her big beautiful Viking?)

Second thing. Once again one of my few sanctuaries has been invaded – Owl came out into the cattery yesterday – OMC! It was sort of an accident. He was blocking the catdoor so the Sleep couldn’t come back in, and the Mama went and held the door open and called to her. Well, she came in, scooting around the little guy, but then he ran out. And would he come back in when she called? Heck, no!!! He thought the cattery was the greatest thing since catnip mice! Of course, he wasn’t too sure how to get back into the house later, so the Mama had to help him. This is just the beginning. Pretty soon, there will be no safe, quiet place for me to go. I’m doomed.

SPRING TAG

If you would like to play the Spring game, just copy my diary, change the answers to yours and tag five of your furiends!

Five Things I Like About Spring:

1. Add me to the Bird Watchers Anonymous group – MOL! Love watching the birds in spring. And the snakes…
2. Did I mention the snakes?
3. Lots of walks outside!
4. Warmth – oh, yeah.
5. Everyone feels energized again!

Thanks, Jezzie for asking me to play.

I am tagging:

Jacks
Luke
Tony Dreamboat #119
Calista
Tiki

ZACHERY BYRNE'S CAT OF THE WEEK ROAST

We’re here today to honor my very good friend Zachery Tristan, AKA Zachery Tristan Byrne, AKA Captain Dread Zaxery Drake, AKA Who’s Your Daddy, AKA … oh, never mind – you get the picture! We were truly pleased to see that Zach had made Cat of the Week this week…uh, weeks, maybe. Not too sure about the duration of Cat of the Week these days.

You all know Zach to be a handsome and debonair mancat, cool in the face of danger, irresistible to women (except me for some reason – never have figured that out, but we’re still friends), quick with the rapier wit - but perhaps you DON’T know the other side of Zach - the goofball that Zoe knows. My sister Sleeper was hoping to really tear into him – something about a hat…or a flower…or something. Sleeper is a little incoherent at the best of times – MOL!

Anyways, maybe it IS time we told a couple of the lesser known stories of Mr. Who’s Your Daddy. For instance, at least a few of you know about the magic flying carpet that we got from the Maharaj – the owner (if any cat can be said to have one) of Siddhartha, Sleeper’s long lost dad. It’s a long story – literally – in the Sleep’s diary archives. Well, see – Zach really got jazzed about it and wanted to borrow it (the rug) for awhile, and what could we say, being, like, we are best buds and all with his family, so of course, we said “Sure, anytime, dude!” And then, what did he do but take the thing flying over Area 51, and almost got shot down by the NSA! And the only reason he’s not still behind bars is ‘cause the Maharaj, who’s, like, the 2nd most powerful guy in all of India, with buckets of money, made a deal with our government and traded the magic artifact for Zach’s freedom. And I never even got to fly on it, bro. Huh.

And you know those rumors about how Zach was caught sleeping with the dog, and how he denies it and says the pic was bogus? Well, get this – it’s all true! And it’s not just the Diamond-dogguy – he consorts with all sorts of dogs and we’ve got the pic to prove it!
the real story!

[Sleeper, quit laughing!...snicker…]

Anyways, we love ya, dude! And a big conga-rats from all of us here in the frozen northlands! Hurrah!!!!

MARCH COMES IN LIKE A LION

March has been quite a month here.
We can start off by saying that we are all pretty sick of the cold and snow. The pawrents would hardly take us out on our leashes at all. Bah!

Then we all had to go to the vet for our booster shots and to take the newest little interloper Owl to get checked out. He was OK, but I was in super stress mode, not wanting the vet to handle me; and Sleeper peed in her carrier on the return trip! Must have been too much commotion that day. Oh, and Fearless has a little abscess on her chin that she had to get antibiotics for. The vet says it’s like an infected blackhead, but the Mama wondered if it wasn’t an injury from her play-fights with Socks – they really do the rough-and-tumble stuff, those two.

Middle of the month the Mama’s laptop went blooey! Don’t know what caused it, but the end result was that the fix wiped it COMPLETELY clean – like a newborn babe. EVERYTHING has to be reinstalled. The good thing is that most everything of importance had been recently backed up. Important point: If it means anything to you - BACK IT UP! There are lots of memory storage devices these days that don’t cost much – well worth the investment.

Then it was time to start the garden – under lights, of course. This is done in stages and it looks like there won’t be any early work outside like there was last year – too bad. But things will grow fine in their cups under lights for awhile.

A sad note: we received word of the passing of Da Tabbies o Trout Town’s Sauce. He was only 10. I know many of you miss Da Tabbies, too, and would want to know if you didn’t already.

Good news: Blizzard reports that Kitty came through her surgery fine – yea!!! And other good news: my bestest bud Zach is CAT OF THE WEEK following another of our very favorite kitties: Tink !!!

Bad news: due to fleas, I am unable to make any comments about these events on any cat’s page – anyone else having this problem?

Two more things: Owl has just joined the Seedless Grape Society. Yep – he went in for neutering yesterday, plus they finished up his other shots. He was running around like a happy crazy kit yesterday after he got back, but today he’s pretty laid back. The Mama says it’s the shots more than the surgery. She’s noticed we all seem to react more on the second day.

Last - Mr. Ugly Face, the most humongous, ugliest and meanest of the possums has been relocated! Hurrah! It happened like this: he came on the porch to eat the Feral’s food like usual, and the Mama shooed him away. This time, instead of going in one of the nice shelters, he climbed into one of the loose cardboard boxes that’s sitting on top. While Socks and Seven Point One guarded the front, the Mama ran in and got a piece of cardboard and some duct tape and closed the sucker in there!!! Then she grabbed the whole box and put it in the trunk and drove several miles to the public hunting grounds and let him loose. She wished him a happy life as he waddled away. She was a little worried about him finding food when there’s still snow on the ground. But she reminded herself that not only is the snow melting off, but that guy is super fat from eating all the catfood he’s been chowing down on for months! He can make it on body fat for awhile.

So – how was your month?

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE SMELLY KIND

Picture this if you will: me, the Samhain, in the snow in front of the porch, face to face with this strange white-striped black cat with a pointy nose; the Mama some several feet away trying to be calm, telling me to come to her PLEASE. Can you guess who this invader is? You got it – a skunk!

It happened this way.
This morning as the pawrents are enjoying a quiet breakfast, they both look up as they see two cats zoom by the window on the little wood wall that serves as a windbreak for the feral feeding station on the north porch. The Mama sees them stop and look back at something, so she goes to investigate. She knew this day would come…a skunk has come to check out the feral food.

Socks and SevenPointOne are curious about it; obviously they have never had a Close Encounter because they are crowding it into the corner. Now the Papa comes to see what’s going on. Pretty soon it’s a circus. The Mama is giggling about it, but not really too concerned. No one is being really threatening and the little guy isn’t scared; he just wants to find out where that lovely food scent is coming from, but these two big cat dudes are in the way.

The Papa moves to intercept Socks, Seven and Ricki who has decided to come be in the way, too. The Mama meanwhile has a fresh plate of food which she is trying to entice it to follow (!!! – OK, maybe she’s a little fool-hardy…) He’s not following, so she moves the plate and all the other remnants of feral food down the steps a little ways from the porch, hoping that he will eventually work his way over there.

At this point, I break out of the house! Oh, yeah. The Papa pursues me, trying to keep me away from the skunk; catches me brings me back in. Catches the Socks and brings HIM in. Shoos the others away. The Mama gets one of her infamous water spray bottles and adds vinegar to it and proceeds to shoot at him from around the door, hoping he doesn’t start to feel threatened, but will simply move to get away from the vinegar. It doesn’t work at first, but finally it does and the skunk goes back over the windbreak and is headed away from the house. Whew!

Except just then, when the Papa is distracted, I break free again. This time I am after that little stripey guy! I actually stand in front of his retreat with my hackles raised, like an idiot! The Mama is no longer giggling; she is seriously worried. Maybe my instinct finally kicked in, or maybe her worry got through to me, but I backed off and came to her then and, thankfully, we watched as that little stripey-butt disappeared around the corner and away from the house. She says I have no idea how close I came…

TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE

Hopefully you can access this link, but if not, then google "The 15th century equivalent of your cat walking on your keyboard" that was in The Atlantic.
http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/02/the-15 th-century-equivalent-of-your-cat-walking-on-your-keyboard/2 73283/