February 23rd 2011 11:13 pm
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I am a Man Cat now but I am not working tonight. Tonight mom finally made a diary for alley, She is my sisfur and the reason we all ended up here on catster. I saw mom letting her eyes water and then she let alley say Good bye again in her diary. Now maybe mom can let alley write about some of her happy times with us like skidss does. I heard mom and dad talking with tears in their throat earlier tonight as they rembered alley and skids. Mom said she never knew before catster there were so many other humans that could love a kitty so much that it sill hurt years after they were gone.
Mom says the hurt never truly goes away. She balled and balled when she did her Rainbow page. Tiny your a good cat for watching and being there for her.
Hi Tiny! My momma had to write a whole website about me and how I died! Do you know that every time she wrote a page she said she wanted to fro-up. It was just too much sometimes. So we understand how hard it is but tell your mom that coming here was the best thing my mom ever did. It's great therapy to write about it with other kitty pawents that truly understand the pain. And my mommy doesn't feel alone anymore.
Thanks Zachery and Alex, I saw mom crying a lot of times for weeks after alley left and she would tell her "I love you Alley cat" or "so sorry alley girl girl" Mom and I both thought she was better (and she is) but the therapy of writting the diary brought it all back for her, she would have assist fed that girl girl for her entire life to keep her here but not if it was going to cause her pain.
Alex mom isn't sure she could do what yout mom did for you with the web page. paw up and chin up to us all.
I didn't know if my would be able to actually finish the site Alley. It was the hardest thing she's ever done next to saying goodbye to me. (Actually it'll never be finished, there's always something new). And I don't think they'll ever "get better" in terms of thinking of us. My mommy has her days when she can handle a lot! It's like a switch turns on when she gets an email from someone that found her site and is looking for help. She feels she just can't NOT help them. She feels their helplessness. But then there are days when a kitty is going to the bridge from this disease (like today, here on Catster) and mommy loses it. She pawmails that parent and they cry together. Because it's just not fair. Just like how you died too. It's just not fair. I'll tell you one thing though, my mommy needs to start getting back into her garden soon and do some things for herself! She's getting kinda burnt out and too sad sometimes. "Hear that momma!!!???" I yell at her now when she doesn't take good enough care of herself. That's what you have to do for your mommy. Keep her on her toes!
Zachery mom wanted to say she was so touched by your mom's rainbow page she did a good job. you are right Alex we gotta make sure they do stuff for themselves mom likes walking and keeping her nephews so we try to send her out of the house often so she doesnt' get to sad cause she can't save the world there are always kitties that need help. So I hope your mom will get in the garden soon.
I hope so too Tiny! If winter would just go away already she'd be right out there. Last fall she started taking a walk almost everyday with her Ipod on and really enjoyed it. She's gonna start again as soon as all these mountains of snow melt. Your mom should try something like that. Even if it's a short walk. The fresh air and music really help.
Thank You Mom of Tiny Tot. I wish I could remember the name of the virus that Blackie got. All I remember that the Doc said was there's a vaccine for it but we don't give it because it's only 29 percent affective and I've seen it take down a horse. I never went back to get his records. it hurt too much. I was 25 and to stubborn at the time. I will always wish I listened to Doc.
Zachery and Alex mom has been out for a days, Zachery you wish you had listened to the vet like mom wishes she had not stressed Alley with the long road trip I am so glad you kitties are there for our mom. My mom has said that even though she really misses the skidss kitty and alley cat she is really gald we are here and we help her heal her heart.
Alex mom does walk that is one of her habits 4 or 5 miles each day and as she trains for the Breast Cancer awareness 39 mile walk she somtimes walks 10-20 miles once a month. We hope the weather gets prettier for you mom real soon so she can get in her gardner and back to some walking cause you are so right it helps to get out in the pretty weather.
Wanna know something? My mom has so many things about everything that happened to me that she "wished" she done differently, it haunts her. One very big thing that she had no control over was that the state was paying to have our house insulated. It's a 95 year old house and it had NO insulation! We were always boiling in the summer and freezing to death in the winter. So because the state was paying for it and they had to come when they could come, they came and spent two weeks drilling into the sides of the house and banging and all kinds of stuff. Want to talk about stressing me out? And at the same time, I was getting a tube put in so I could eat again and it all happened at once. Oh and there's so much that went wrong with that. We just can't even talk about it, mom just CAN'T. She just feel so much like everything was stacked against us. Oh man, she's crying now. Mommy please stop! It's okay! Sorry guys, gotta go.
Mom and Dad just prays that all of us have long and healthy lives. It is so traumatic to loose furbabies too young and to circumstances that you really can't do anything about. The pain and feeling useless is almost unbearable. Just think our ordeal with Blackie started with him being misdiagnosed. It wouldn't have changed a thing if thing if the Doc. had gotten it right but it still irritated me.
Oh Zachery mom says that too she loves us and then while she holds us she says "I bless you in Jesus name with long and healthy kitty cat life" she did that for skids for almsot her entire life and for alley but ......oh well someimtes life here is shorter than we would like. Dad told mom he thinks it's so tramatic to lose one of us cuase we don't under stand why they won't make us feel better. Mom told him she is sure we understood they did all they could do.
Alex we are sorry your mom had tears come to her with the memories she told us about I don't like to see mom cry either one of us can almost always make her feel better and somehow one of us always knows when she needs extra kitty luvin and usally callie or boo will go and sleep with her just to be sure she 's ok.
Congrats on your diary pick today!
Congrats on being a diary pick, Tiny Tot! Mom lost a kitty in 2008 to intestinal lymphoma and there is lots she would do differently if she had to do it over again. Adopting all of us was great therapy for her. She still grieves for the kitty she lost, but she tries to focus on all the love she has to give us. We give her all our love in return!