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Confessions of a Psycho Cat

my mom exaggerates stuff

I got my mom to type this up for me! I'm not used to actually using the keyboard to produce words, not jjkkllllllllllkkkkkk

At 5 AM Saturday morning, I was catapulted out of my dreams by unearthly caterwauling and yowling. Being the dedicated kitty-mom that I am, I wasn't even aware of hurling back the covers before I was bounding to the rescue, certain that Afreet had somehow gotten hung up and/or injured himself.
Now, I am as blind as a mole with a severe case of cataracts, and as I rushed madly away, I snatched my glasses from the bedside table and scrambled pell-mell, b**t-naked, toward the howling, bellowing as I plunged along like a wounded buffalo, "KITTY!!!!"
Of course, being blind and in pitch-black, I forgot the gym bag was at the foot of the bed and tripped gracefully over it, pitching forward and tumbling to the carpet, neatly scraping two square inches of hide off my right knee and hearing my glasses, which for some insane reason I had clutched in my fist instead of putting them on, creak under my hand as I semi-caught myself.
A moment of dizzy silence as I regained my breath, then I lurched up and resumed my mission, only now my bellows were somewhat changed in tone--more like a pained wail/croak of "kiiiittttyyyyyyyy...." Naturally my locomotion was also affected, now more like Quasimodo in the advanced stages of Parkinson's.
I lumbered into the living room in time to meet Afreet sauntering along on his way to leap into the dining room window and perch on the windowsill, obviously intently tracking the movements of another nocturnal creature...a much quieter one.
During my mad dash I had turned on the kitchen and dining room lights...and suddenly realized I was standing directly in front of the french doors, which open onto the backyard, and providing a lovely view if the aforesaid nocturnal creature was two-legged. Snatching a throw from the couch, I managed to jam my somewhat askew glasses onto my nose and wrap myself in it. Afreet, meanwhile, is interestedly alternating peering into the darkness, not one whit grateful that I had rushed to his rescue so heedless of any danger that might have been posed to myself.
My throbbing knee kept me awake till 7 AM. By then, of course, Afreet had lost interest in whatever prowling critter (if there ever was one!) and come twice to do the cha-cha on my head and demand I come play.
My knee looks like someone went after it with a cheese grater. I'm gonna look fetching in short skirts for a while.
(She's exaggerating!!! it was a whole 15 minutes after 5:00 AM! and I WAS grateful...that's what the cha-cha was for. She can be so ungrateful...I had to let the neighbor's cat know it is not allowed to look through my window!)