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Zoes secret dreams made public

Tears for Tux

March 28th 2013 1:40 pm
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Short note from Mommie Chris here to the other Pawrents out there.

I cried today, it was a brief cry but a heart felt "I'm missing you like crazy cry." I was changing Zach's playlist when I clicked on Tux's bridge playlist. Free by Zac Browns Band came on and I remembered how I felt when I heard that song after Tux died. Tears started to surface and there was nothing I could do about them. As I listened I thought "God I miss you" For our new friends, Tux was my buddy, he was by my side for 17 years, through the roughest years of my life. He was the greatest dog I have ever had, and I have had some great ones. Living in a state where you can drive 1 hour and your in the mountains or 4 hours and your at the beach, you do a lot of traveling. He was my day trip buddy. So if you know the song it fits well and also just the point of them singing about being Free makes me thank of him being free of his old and worn out body. The same body that finally turned against him.

These are the days I remember the true reason I love Catster. The love and understanding I felt when he passed. The love and understanding and kinship we all felt when old timers like Baltster, Gump, and Tiger died.

It is always hard to lose a baby no matter what the age and for whatever reason, but old timers who have been with you for over 15 years is really rough. Their memory is seared in your brain, it will never disappear. I can't believe I can still to this day, see Tux in my minds eye running, with his tail wagging and ears a flopping. Or when he started to swell from the heart failure and I sat down on the ground, I was crying and was asking him if he was ready to go. And in the typical Tux fashion, he sat down beside me and leaned against me. I just some how knew right then he said "Mommie, I'm not done being your best friend yet" (Maybe this is why I adore how Gris leans into me while sitting beside me or on my lap.) Long story short, I took Tux to the vets, we got him heart meds and he lived for many more years happy and well beyond pampered.

I hope and pray that I have my "now" babies that long. So I can have so many memories of them seared in my brain.

Purred by: Lisa P

March 28th 2013 at 3:01 pm

Big hugs to you Chris! We never, ever forget them and all their little, sweet ways.
Purred by: Jasper, Angel Dreamboat #49a (Catster Member)

March 28th 2013 at 7:55 pm

Letting Mom have a word here....

Yep, the ones who are with you the longest are the hardest to let go. I still ache for my first cat when I was out of school and on my own. He was a sealpoint Siamese, no doubt from a kitten mill, and though he was purchased (for 10 bucks) at a pet shop, I always considered him a rescue. He was all alone in a tiny cage, flea-ridden, with ear mites and runny eyes. I just went in to look at the animals and came out with him. Caius was with me for 18 years and when I took him to the vet that last time to release him from his struggles with lymphoma, the vet and I both broke down.

I remember Tux's passing, and it was so obvious how much you loved and would miss him. That tail will be wagging for you again one day, Chris.

Jasper will soon be 18, and believe me the day he departs for the Bridge will be a blue day indeed.

......OK, Jasper back here now. Not to worry, Mom. I'm not going anywhere for a while.
Purred by: Calísta (Catster Member)

March 28th 2013 at 9:59 pm

...guess it's the mom take-over:

It can be so "heart-crushing" to loose your family member. I'm new, but one of the reasons I'm drawn to Catster is because I can tell it's a group of like-minded people who understand things like how loosing "an animal" can be as hard as loosing a human. We understand how precious they are to our lives and how much richer our lives are for having them in it. Figaro, who doesn't have a memorial page quite yet (I gathered the photos, just have to scan them) was with me for 4 months shy of 15 years. He crossed the bridge in 2008 and my heart still aches. And I still cry. In fact, when I look at Zach and Gris it sometimes triggers it. He was a beautiful black & white too. It was just him and I for about 5 years. Then Calísta came along. Having that one-on-one relationship makes such a special bond. Now I've had one-on-one years with Calísta, and she just turned the same age. I thank God for her every night and remember when I feared Fig would out-live her just because of all of her health issues. When she was 10 a vet said she was amazed I had "done so well with her." I do everything I can to keep her healthy and pray she'll shock the world and end up being one of those 20 year olds. She still plays, still talks to me ALL THE TIME, and I know her quality of life is good. I'm attached to her "step-siblings" too, and I love them, but it's just not the same as being together from kitten/pup to adult and everything in between; they watch us grow as people too, and we share such a HUGE life experience with them.

If I think too much about seeing the spirits I love again someday at the bridge, that brings tears too. I imagine my spirit will ball and wail in happiness someday.

Hugs & purrs

Purred by: Calísta (Catster Member)

March 28th 2013 at 10:10 pm

I just noticed Tux's birthday was April was Fig's. Huh. Guess the earth was blessed that month.
Purred by: SKIDS KITTY gone, never forgot (Catster Member)

March 28th 2013 at 10:30 pm

MOm knows so well how those kinda of days are I have been here at the bridge since June 2008 after over 18 years with mom and even now if she thinks of me very long her eyes get leaky and if her and dad talk of my life with them her voice gets tears in it. She hurt when she lost fur babies younger than me but the bond with us long time furbabies is so different we know them so well. I knew her routine better than she did and she knew what I needed before I ever "ask" we could make eye contact and she knew what I needed.
hugs to you Chris
Purred by: ♥ Jezebel RIP ♥ (Catster Member)

March 28th 2013 at 10:49 pm

I know how much you loved him. It's so hard to lose an animal that has been with you for so long.
Purred by: Alex R

March 29th 2013 at 6:22 am

That all pretty well sums up how it was with both John and me and our little Essie-dog. Best dog we ever knew, and with us almost constantly in the bookstore, at home or on the road for 18 years after her rescue from the pound. I did make a memorial page, but I can't bring myself to do anything more with it, or to be her "voice" now that she's over the Bridge. She will never be forgotten.
Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

March 29th 2013 at 7:46 am

What luck. I had no idea you guys had commented till I got a notification of Sammies comment. Guess the fleas let one slip by.

Calista, you being the newest member here I can tell you....welcome to the tender side of Catster. We love having fun but your right, we are passionate people about our furbabies and all animals. We all have our animals causes, to long to list I'm sure. LOL.

And it's a place where it doesn't matter if your babies are average joes or some high dollar Bangle. It's not about pride or status it's about love and giving them the best life they can have.

I can honestly say for all of us on this page, you have done a great job with Calista. When I realized she was asthmatic I thought "geez that's scary, a baby with asthma". Actually, I thank she's the first kitty I know of having it here. But there tons of us with allergies, several have even had the kitty version of the scratch test.
Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

March 29th 2013 at 8:02 am

Jasper, I know your not going anywhere and Jez, you either. Zach would never forgive you. MOL! Your his old lady down the street that he says "I bet she was something in her youth"

Alex, we love you and the work you do helping us keep our babies healthy.

Sammie, my dear Sammie, we know you miss your Essie. You probably don't even realize how much you mention her to us.
You guys are awesome how you take in all those ferals and we love you for it.

Same goes to Skids Mom. She took in a whole litter and then years latter the Mom Cat. You have been blessed her with her babies and the knowing that you made her last year the best.

You are very special to me and I'm so glad I have meet you guys.

Now, I'm off to see if I can fix the fleas before the party starts. Oh and I put Tuxs playlist back up (didn't even know it wasn't working on his page) The second song is a must listen to....just to say you've heard. When Mom mentions it people are like really? Is it good? And Mom says "It's really good" It's Dolly Parton signing "stairway to Heaven"
Purred by: Jasper, Angel Dreamboat #49a (Catster Member)

March 29th 2013 at 8:03 pm

Wow, that's pretty incredible. Mom loves Dolly Parton, but had never heard that one.

We looked at all of Tux's pictures again, and left him a bone. What a good dog!
Purred by: Tully (Catster Member)

March 30th 2013 at 7:15 am

Mom wishes she was a part of Caster in 2008 when she lost her tuxedo kitty Carlos to lymphoma. She adored that cat so much and when he went to the Bridge it left such a huge hole in her heart she adopted 2 new cats almost immediately (me and Luke, who are tuxies of course).

She decided that 2 cats wasn't quite enough to fill that gaping hole, so she adopted 2 more cats (Sammy and Natasha). Fur babies leave huge pawprints on your heart that can never be erased, so she understands how your Mom feels about Tux.

Congrats on the DDP today!

P.S. Luke says to be nice to Zach. Let him bask in the glory of his COTW honor ~ MOL!
Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

March 30th 2013 at 8:45 am

Wow I'm going to write that last comment over again.

The first sentence looked like I was playing scrabble.

What I was saying is we're going to let Zach slide after his diary yesterday.

Second, I mentioned you reminded me of a diary Skids wrote some time back. She said slowly the kits are taking over all her duties she used to do. But one cat per duty. Sometimes our babies are extra special.
Purred by: Calísta (Catster Member)

March 30th 2013 at 2:23 pm

Mom says what Skids wrote in that diary stuck with her true.

I have to admit, Zachy's big ego is part of his charm. Kinda makes me wanna give him a big kiss. (DO NOT tell him this!!!) We should let him have his fame.
Purred by: Angel Midnight - DG #9 You wil (Catster Member)

March 30th 2013 at 3:52 pm

(((Hugs))) to you Chris. They will always be in our hearts and never forgotten. Concats on being a DDP.


Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2


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