Dear Sweet Tux

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October 8th 2011 3:12 pm
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What do we say? Do we do a tribute, do we do a love letter, or do we tell everyone what happened. Mom said she thought about writing something down, something sweet something eloquent but she decided to write start from the heart.

First, Tux gave up, you could see it in his eyes. Doc told us when you see a dog go outside and they just stand there, like they are lost, no sniffing of the ground, no ears perked up and no happy wag of the tail....that the quality of life has left them. That's what's been happening. He was doing fine till last week during the cold rains we had. It made him achy, it made him not even want to pick up his head to tell me "Hey" when I walked in the door. Then he stopped eating again Wed. and refused to drink water. Mom and Dad brought him over yesterday, he walked around in my backyard barely being able to hold himself up. He just kept walking in big circles, like he thought if he stopped and sat down he would never get back up. Right then seeing him like that I knew it was time (honestly, I knew last weekend but Mom and Dad needed to be ready to let him go). The quality of life had left him. Turns out that's why they brought him over. So he could have one last visit with me, David, Diamond and the cats.

My mother, Linda, is officially a cancer survivor sense her surgery back in late July or was it early Aug? Anyway, she is still weary from her battles mentally and physically. Tux's not wanting to eat and Mom knowing that's the only way he can survive, was taking a toll on her. She was always with him, night and day. She seen every bad day he had and felt his pain. I think of all the times over the last couple years that he would be sleeping and I would strain my eyes to make sure his chest is moving, sometimes even walking over to feel his chest move. Imagine how many times my Mom has done that. Sometimes watching someone die slowly is just as bad as being the one dying. Hate to sound bad but this is a release for both of them, Mom and Tux.

Mom could not bare going in while Doc was helping Tux pass. So it was Dad and me carrying him in right at closing time. You could see the hurt in the eyes of the lady that was there to pick up her gorgeous Golden Retriever (which had a grey muzzle of his own). I think she knew.

Dear Tux,
We are going to miss seeing your grey muzzle walking in the door, so full of life. You always looked like you were smiling. I was happy to see you too. Everybody loved you, you even inspired Trisha to adopt an elderly dog. She loved how your were so laid back and calm and loving. That you had an air of chill about you. What she didn't know was that it wasn't your age showing, that was just you.

The day I got you, I was surrounding by 8 little bouncing puppies. All trying to get my attention, all running in circles trying to nip each others back legs. You were all so cute. Little fuzz balls with big eyes and puppy breath. I just couldn't make up my mind which one of you I wanted to take home. I sat on the steps leading down into the pin where you all were and you came to me.

You were so cute. With your short stubby legs trying to climb those big steps but you made it. And then laid down to take a nap underneath my legs on the step. I knew right then you had picked me.

Over the years we have played in the fields of hay, in the woods, in the snow, and in the ocean. Celebrated the seasons together with long walks down the dirt road. At one point yesterday while walking up to the big Oak Tree I wanted to call out your name then I remembered why I was walking up there in the first place, to lay you to rest beside all the other pets I have had through out the years. As I turned and looked back toward the house, I could see you running down the driveway, with that little cantor of yours, ears and tongue just a flapping. Your were such a happy dog.

Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder all those years and thanks for coming to me when you needed to feel safe, warm and loved. Years ago I made you the promise and yesterday we decided It was time. Baby, you are free now. You've have been with me for so long, it's time to give you back.

As you laid there, on that cold Stainless Steel table, you looked at me. You looked at me down to my soul. I felt your fear, but somehow I knew you were telling me you loved me and saying thank you. Then when the sedative started to relax you, and Dad was squatting in front of the table, rubbing your head. I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder and you looked me again with such love. Dad told you that you were going to be young and full of life again within mins. I hope you seen us and heard us. Within mins, Doc came back in and helped you cross.

Till the day you see us again always remember.. we love you more than words could ever say and I can't wait to see those floppy ears a blowing in the wind as you run to catch up with me again.
A picture I've carried in my wallet for the last 14 years.

Thanks my friends for the love and support.

Purred by: Blizzard AKA The Catfather (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 3:20 pm

Beautiful tribute to a great friend. purrs from our family to yours

Purred by: ♥Harley-Dreamette 2 (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 3:31 pm

Zoe, what a wonderful tribute to Tux..... I am so sorry for the loss that your Mom is feeling...... know that you are in our thoughts during this time.

Zoe and Family

Hugs & Kisses
Harley & Mom

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 3:38 pm

Blizz, 17 long glorious years I had with him.

Harley, thank you for the great picture, Mom will add it to his page later.

Purred by: Alex (sweet angel girl) (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 3:59 pm

Well my mommy is very emotional today but even if she wasn't, she would still cry. This was SO BEAUTIFUL AND TOUCHING. Tux is here with me Zoe. Doesn't matter that I'm a kitty, he's resting and shedding his doggie suit. He loves you and your family more than he could ever possibly tell you and he wants you to know that he thanks you for knowing it was his time. It was a gift and a relief for him as well.

My mom knows exactly about watching a furbaby to make sure they're breathing. She did it with me and it was completely exhausting. For now, let yourself exhale, let it all out. Tomorrow or the next day you'll cry some more. But just know Tux has not gone from you, only his physical self.

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 4:18 pm

Alex, I love you and take good care of him. You can help him find his brothers and sisters. I know he would love to see Bear, Jax, and Sierra.

Purred by: Alex (sweet angel girl) (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 4:22 pm

I love you too Zoe. And I PROMISE! As soon as he's rested (which does not take long believe me) I will personally escort him to the rest of his family. That's where he belongs. I'm just the "gatekeeper" so to speak. MOL. He's a very good boy, I can see why you love him so much.

Purred by: Tink the Cat (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 5:07 pm

Your letter really touched mom's heart!! It expresses exactly what loss feels like. You realize how precious the memories are and how lucky you were to be there for them. Treasure that - I know you will. Love you bunches and we're here for you! Luv, Barbara, Tink & Snow

Purred by: Maedia (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 5:52 pm

Zoe, that is really beautiful. You have so many wonderful memories to cherish forever, even though right now it is painful. You knew it was the right time to let Tux fly free and not be held back by his earthly body. We love you guys and are purring big purrs of comfort.

Purred by: Max (Catster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 6:52 pm

What a beautiful tribute, fly free Tux. You will be missed my friend. We are purring up a storm for you family.

Purrs Max

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 8:56 am

Tux has a request...

Mom's love letter to Tux touched Sleeper and Samhain's pawrents so much that they took the difficult step of making a memorial page for their beloved Miss Essie. As you know links aren't working in some comments so I'm not even going to try. This is her page URL...http://www.dogster.com/dogs/1210752

She is such a sweet looking doggie. Tux's request is those with doggies on dogster, plus befriend our dear new friend.

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 8:57 am

Tux has a request...

Mom's love letter to Tux touched Sleeper and Samhain's pawrents so much that they took the difficult step of making a memorial page for their beloved Miss Essie. As you know links aren't working in some comments so I'm not even going to try. This is her id number 1210752

She is such a sweet looking doggie. Tux's request is those with doggies on dogster, plus befriend our dear new friend.

Purred by: Callie (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 11:02 am

What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful friend. Sending you and your family purrs of comfort.

Purred by: Tigger ♥ Angel DB #33a (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 6:56 pm

I love you tux and always will. Fly free my sweet friend.

Tigger

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 7:00 pm

Tigger I know he watching over you. Funny, he's probably met my dog growing up named Tigger by now. I bet he told him about you...his bestest feline friend.

You know Tiggers are the best! T i double g errrr!

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 7:02 pm

Oh and Tig...tell Samantha that there's a new doggie in town. check out my comment above you.

Purred by: Tigger ♥ Angel DB #33a (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 7:07 pm

Hi Zoe,

We tried to go to Dogster but it wouldn't load. We will try again soon. :)

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 7:21 pm

Okay, cool.

Purred by: ☀ Jezebel DG 29 ☀ (Catster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 10:00 pm

What a beautiful tribute. Sending your family some purrs. Tell Tux to look for some friendly goofy basset hounds up there - I know my pals'll be happy to welcome him.

Purred by: (My Angel) Marrakech (Catster Member)

October 10th 2011 at 12:04 am

What a beautiful tribute. Zoe, Tux is not alone, we're here for him--me, Misha, B.A., Cappuccino, and doggies Dillinger, Shadow and Heidi. He spent many wonderful years with a very loving, caring family. He knows how much you love him.

Sending gentle purrs & huggies...

Purred by: Cookie Loved Always (Catster Member)

October 10th 2011 at 8:40 am

It be so hard to know that this time comes. Listenin' to Tux is the truest love. He knew the beautiful bridge and all us was waiting and knew yous loved him to much that it was hard to leave. I knows he's met my dog bro Harley here and is runnin' and romping with the pups up here full of life and energy. Wez purrring for you.

Purred by: SKIDS KITTY gone, never forgot (Catster Member)

October 11th 2011 at 10:12 pm

Oh wow moma's eyes are running water so bad right now. We are very sorry for your loss of Tux it was a beautiful tribute. My sister fur Lassie and Lucy, and my cousin fur salley (some of my dog family) are all here with me as we help welcome Tux.