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Zach's confessions and secrets

Recycling the Funny Stuff

February 23rd 2011 8:11 pm
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Skylar cracked me up last night with his entry, take a look. It made me think of some of the funniest diaries I've seen on here yet. Keep them coming guys.

With all the fighting and people dying in the streets right now I thought we needed a laugh. So, here's some of the funnies:

Newmies, Huh?

Squishy poops!, How could we forget this one

Log roll, Mom says Ouch

3 Mancats in da house, snip, snip

Word of the Day, and one from the dogs, trust me it's funny

Purred by: Ka - zar 1.6.1998 to 25.2.2014 (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 2:29 am

Newmies are a polite way of saying poopies mate. Hazel Lucy is a lady and ladies don't use those vile words like poopies.
Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:28 am

The squishy poop one is classic!
Purred by: River (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 10:06 am

hehehehe... kitties are so silly sometimes!
Purred by: Skylar db#39A (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 1:44 pm

"cosmetic grapes" I love that description! MOL! and ROTFLMTO (laughing my tail off). Thanks for sharing the classics!
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 2:20 pm

It would be hard to pick a favorite. Skylar, the fact that Ollie wouldn't even look at his Mom and told her to go away is just too funny but the thought of little Ollie taking a peek at Milo's cosmetic grapes is beyond hilarious. We all lost our marbles(sorry for the pun, Ollie) when we responded too Squishy poops. I mean poop shoot, stinky butt, danglers and Booboo talking about her Mom never getting near her poop shoot if one gets stuck. Your right Gump this one is a keeper.

Thanks for the info Ka-zar.

And River, sometimes? Heck just about all the time, that's why we love Catster.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 6:20 pm

MOL! As soon as I saw "squishy poops" I knew it was me. MOL. I must have missed the cosmetic grapes one! I love it. BTW, I did that whole episode again the next week. Just didn't say anything because it was valentine's day and I didn't want my valentine Tink, to think I was gross.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 6:52 pm

Okay, just read the cosmetic grapes one. THAT one is also a keeper! MOL.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 7:07 pm

You know Finn, if Lacey really wanted to blackmail you Valentines Day would have been the day to do. MOL! Good choice not mentioning your opps. Thanks for giving me the good material.
I think I might do this again in a couple months. Mom could always use a laugh in the summer. She gets really moody then, it's the humidity outside.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 7:10 pm

I am PAWSITIVE we'll be able to give you more good material. We're just full of it! MOL! I started a list of all those great poopy terms. I have them somewhere, they were too funny not to keep.
Purred by: Newman (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 7:19 pm

Cosmetic grapes? Who has those? I need some cause they took my grapes when I was just a little kitty! Thanks for including me in your list, Zachery!
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 7:25 pm

That would be Ollie.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 7:25 pm

Yah, your full of it alright, poop that is, black gold. Oh, wait a minute that's the Hillbillies. Can't wait to hear your new terms.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 7:26 pm

MOL! Black gold, Texas tea. Beverly Hillbillies, kitty poops, all the same.
Purred by: littleboy (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 7:36 pm

Hey Newman they took mine too. I thought I had found the purrfect home got in off the streets then I fell asleep at the Dr's then wake up, sure enough my grapes are gone.
Thanks for the grins Zachery mom needed this trip down catster memory lane.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 7:39 pm

Don't forget "dingle-berries". (I'm referring to poop just then, NOT grapes).
Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 7:48 pm

Hey dudes, aren't dingle berries related to danglers?

Myself, I only have grape skins and they're covered in fuzz (well, fur). No cosmetic grapes fur me.

Mom says a good poop is like black gold!

Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 7:50 pm

yes, exactly. Only Lacey seems to get the dingle berries more than I do. I'm the one with the squishy poops about once every couple of months. Mom also refers to my poops as atom bombs because of their pleasant aroma.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 7:53 pm

Thanks for clearing that up, Finn.

Littleboy and Newman I lost my grapes too when I was 3 months old. But I do have a hint of them left. Are you sure you don't? It doesn't help though, Dad still talks about how tiny my mini grapes are. He flicked at them one night! Mom and Dad had a good belly laugh at my expense. Talking about ruining a delightful belly rub.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 8:02 pm

Good God!!! Well, I don't know if I have any hints of grapes. Momma says she's not going to open my legs and check me out. but she'd never flick them! I don't think I do now that I think about it. I think you should climb into your daddy's bed tonight and give his grapes a good flicking! MOL. See how he likes it.
Purred by: littleboy (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:09 pm

M O L! that was good Finnegan. Zachery my dad gives me belly bubs and jiggles the skin that showed up there after I lost my grapes and my dad tells my mom "he is our grapless little boy" yea and then they call Tiny a mancat whatever he don't have no grapes either.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:10 pm

That's Diamonds job. She never looks where she's stepping.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 8:14 pm

You two make me glad I only have a momma! She better not be flickin' me anywhere. How degrading. MOL. How did we get off of poop and onto grapes?
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:14 pm

Littleboy, I'm glad I'm not the only one to feel this form of humiliation!
Purred by: Newman (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:14 pm

Zachery - those are called your fruit cups. They take the grapes but leave the fruit cups so it looks like you're still a manly mancat.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:16 pm

Well, Thank God for the Doc. who decided to leave us with fruit cups. Finn, I have no cool poop stories. Sorry.
Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:17 pm

The good thing about being a floofy mancat is that the floof keeps my grapes, or lack thereof, hidden.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 8:20 pm

Floof would help.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 8:21 pm

NO cool poop stories? why that's just crazy talk! There's always a cool poop story somewhere. Where's Hazel Lucy when we need her. Sleeping I'm sure.

I am the floofinator!
Purred by: littleboy (Catster Member)

February 24th 2011 at 9:14 pm

Fruit cups are good, next time dad gets silly like that I hope mom will tell him I am not grapless but I am a fruit cup kitty. Finnegan I love my dad but your right mom would never spread my legs to look at my fruit cups but she might raise my tail to see my tail end sometimes she smells poopies but there's none back there so weird to have her look at my back end like, cannot even think how weird it would bee for her to look at my fruit cups.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 24th 2011 at 11:46 pm

MOL! Yeah, I hate it when my momma does that too. Only another kitty momma would understand how easily our mommies will clean our poop! Just like with a human baby. Now THAT'S love!
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 25th 2011 at 1:59 am

I would like to thank all kitty (And doggie) Mom's for having so much love in their heart that they take care of us.

Finn, have you never had a daddy there? Have your Mom explain how Men are nothing but little silly, crude boy's in a Mans body. Mom rolled her eyes at first when he kept acting like he was going to flick them, I remember she told him "be nice" but when I was overwhelmed with embarrassment and got up and stared Dad down and then ran off. Mom had to crack up.
Mom always said she likes cats because they have human attitudes. They are mad at you, you know it. A dog, give it a pet on the head and it will be following you around the rest of the day. "Dogs are sell outs for love and treats." We love our Diamond Dog even if her DNA makes her a mindless slave to humans.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 25th 2011 at 11:02 am

Hi Zachy, nope. No "official" daddy. I have grampy but I don't let him touch me, I just like to walk around him and let him think he can touch me. I used to have momma's boyfriend when he was here all the time. But they are just friends now (best friends really) and he still comes over sometimes cause he lives across the street. So he's kind of like a step daddy. But always just had my mommy, which is just fine! She's a terrific momma and knows us kitties pretty darned well. And on the same note you were just talking about, check out this article. Read through the whole thing: _health/
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 25th 2011 at 1:40 pm

Mom says that furbabies don't need Daddies. When she brought Blackie in, she was married to husband num.1, he was there for her through the destruction of the marriage, he was there to support Mom while she licked her wounds and while she got back in the game. 5 years latter, Mom and Blackie moved into my Daddy's house, husband num.2. Daddy fell in love with Blackie hence, he's now a cat person too. Mom was all Blackie needed and he was all she needed. They supported each other with love for so many years.
The article you sent me was very interesting. Mom has always known that cats truly love. She's curious about the results of the dog study after they are done. It would be an interesting comparison.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 25th 2011 at 1:45 pm

Well that's what we say too but we didn't want to offend anyone because we do know quite a few REALLY good kitty daddies. So we didn't want to be mean to them. But my mommy is all me and Lacey need. She loves us more than anything. Mommy's ex-boyfriend/best friend was never a kitty person either until he fell in love with Alex. When Alex died, he took it almost as hard as mommy did. It was brutal on him and he was really surprised at how much he'd grown to love her. Now he loves us too because of that.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 25th 2011 at 2:12 pm

Dad usual takes it pretty rough too but he struggles with death issues in general. He's one of those people that questions why. When Joe, their second cat escaped the house during vac. (long story) and got hit by a car. Mom says that Dad kept talking about how Joe was always wide eyed and innocent. How he probably loved being outside till his accident. And that he hadn't done anything to deserve such a short life. It broke Mom's heart to see Dad in pain.
I have to admit, sense Diamond has moved in I'm not as tight with Dad but I can tell he still loves me and Zoe.
Glad you guys have a stepdad and glad your mother has been able to remain bestfriends with him. That is a miracle in itself.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 25th 2011 at 2:41 pm

Yup, mom & Rick say that they love each other but aren't in love so there's no reason at all not to still be in each others lives. They have always been best friends from the day they met and want to stay that way. Mom says she didn't know what she would do with him as her friend.
Purred by: River (Catster Member)

February 25th 2011 at 3:19 pm

Hi fellas! I'm cutting in here cause I wants to brag... I has the BESTEST daddy in the world! I mean, I'm a mommies boy through and through, but I gots the best daddy. Daddy's name is on my adoption paperwork and my daddy would dive into a burning building again and again for me. No kitties liked daddy at the adoption event, they all loved mommy. Including me, but mommy and Simone were all ready pretty much a done deal. Daddy went and sat in a chair in the adoption room all sad cause no body liked him and I wandered over, looked up at him, and jumped into his lap and fell asleep. From then on out it was a done deal. I loves daddy. I sleeps on his feets at night, I talk to him, I loves him and he loves me! I'm glad you two both have such good families too but I just had to brags cause I'm crazy about daddy!
Purred by: Lisa P

February 25th 2011 at 3:29 pm

Hey Rivs! You are a very, very lucky boy. I think any of us that have loving homes with hoomans that would do so much for us are extremely lucky. Don't you think too? I'm so glad your daddy is so pawsome. I love hearing about men that love kitties because we don't hear enough about the daddies. You know who's daddy is terrific too? Orange Ruffy's. Him and Natalie and Bella's daddy. They have a picture of Ruffy or Natalie, I can't remember at the vet with them and he's all huggin' and snuggling with them. It's so sweet! River you should take a picture of you with your daddy and put it on your page so we can see it.
Purred by: River (Catster Member)

February 25th 2011 at 3:33 pm

shhhhhhhhh don't tell daddy these pictures are still on my page, he'd be so embarassed! For my daddy's birthday me and mommy made him and me matching t-shirts with this picture on them... /5093247
Mommy use to call daddy 'snuggles' to tease him!

here's a picture of the two of us wearing our shirts. Luckily mommy doesn't make me wear mine often! 5093598

There is a really sweet picture of us somewhere from the first week I lived with them but mommy will have to find it, it isn't on my catster page. These are kind of old pictures too, house looks really different now but oh well... the important thing is that is MY DADDY!
Purred by: Lisa P

February 25th 2011 at 3:37 pm

Oh man, the catster fleas won't let us open the links, it says pages not found. I'm just gonna go to your page and look.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 25th 2011 at 3:43 pm

Okay I seens him River! Oh boy River, you take some really funny and pawsome pictures. My momma was laughing and oohing and aahhing over how darned cute you are! Imagine us taking floofy pictures together? We'd be so cute their heads would explode!
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

February 25th 2011 at 5:13 pm

I agree there are some great Dads out there. Like I said I have one. And yes Mom thinks it's endearing to see a man love a cat. I think we all are extremely lucky.
Purred by: littleboy (Catster Member)

February 26th 2011 at 10:14 pm

Hey Zachery and Finnegan thanks for the smiles mom really needed this them. I gotta say I do love my dad he is great and mom is so glad he agreed to take me in when he had already said "we only need one cat" MOL he also said I guess we can keep the FOUR kitten that were not adopted MOL you know he has gotta love us even built us an outdoor enclosure with a kitty door so we can come and go as we please. However I do take exception to his commenting on my "grapeless status" Mom said she is gonna let him know I got fruit cups MOL. This was a very funny diary that got funnier the further along it went.
Purred by: Lisa P

February 26th 2011 at 11:29 pm

This diary is like the energizer bunny! It just keeps going and going and going, MOL. Littleboy you are so lucky he built you that enclosure! That's so cool! We live on the second story so that wouldn't exactly work here. Tell your daddy it's not the grapes that count but the cups that hold 'em! MOL
Purred by: Eva V

March 5th 2011 at 12:04 pm

OMC! I can't believe I missed this! Thanks Zachary for mentioning my crazy baby bro in your diary.
I love "fruit cups", better the "cosmetic grapes, but whatever we call them I I don't have'em.How humiliating is that?
Mom keeps teasing me by saying how "pretty" I am;
Am I sure I am not a girl?
How is that for adding insult to injury?!
Milo and Ollie had a kinder and gentler doc who understands that we need to keep a semblance of dignity! I mean we are MANCATS not a bunch of ITS! MOL!
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

March 5th 2011 at 12:41 pm

Teddy, you are a man with or without fruit cups. Mom still likes "cosmetic grapes."


Zachery Tristan


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