My unfair life

It's spring. I want to spring on a bird. However, the peasants don't let me outside of this prison I am in.

The dog (sneer) gets to go outside as he pleases.

I know this is all due to a fight I was in last year and my peasants think I lost. So what if I had to go the vet and get medicine.

You should have seen the other cat!

What is going on?

I was sitting on top of the kitchen table. (I told you I am alpha kitty. I do as I please.)

There was a very weird scratching sound coming from the underside of the table. I pounced at the table and batted at the table cloth to find what was making the sound.

The peasants were laughing. At me. I stopped to glare at them. They knew their gig was up and I was on to them. The lady peasant was making the sound while the man peasant took pictures.

The pictures will be up tomorrow.

I'm going to be hungry at 2:00 am. That will teach them to laugh at me.

One of my favorite memories:

A few years back the boy peasant was running naked through the house. He was making a break for his room upstairs and I couldn't resist.

As he ran through the living room, I ran and used the ottoman as a springboard and smacked him on the butt. I've been in control ever since.

I am the master.

I played the "Pet me without touching me" game today. I had such fun.

I also chased the girl peasant upstairs while batting at her ankles. They think I'm cute. They'll never get rid of me.

My fellow felines

How it distresses me to read that so many of you are afraid of the vacuum. Do you not know that WE FELINES run the house! Stand up to the vacuum as I do!

I budge for no human, no vacuum and no dog. My dog out weighs me by 100 pounds and he fears me. He has feared me since the day the peasants brought me to my new home. He ran upstairs and started shivering as I uttered my first hiss and growl. It was a beautiful sight.


We must unite as one feline to let our peasants know that We DO rule!

Stand strong against the vacuum. My peasant goes AROUND me. The best trick is to sit in front of it and look bored. Yawn if you must. It usually works for me.

The Great Outdoors

I found out why my peasants keep me inside. It's too COLD out there for me. I escaped while the woman peasant went to get the paper. I yowled to be let in. She certainly didn't hurry on my account and I think I even heard her laugh.

She picked me up to carry me inside. I made sure when I jumped down that I dug my claws into her chest. Laugh at me again peasant!

The humans don't get it.

This family is so hard to train. When I want something at four in the morning, I mean to have NOW. NOW.

My first attempt this morning to wake them for some food I needed right away went about like so: I want to jump in the window but the shade is too low so I paw and paw at it until they are thoroughly annoyed and hold it open for me. Of course only the best cat knows to take their time and jump when they feel good and ready. This annoys humans even more. If they DARE attempt to knock you off the bed, simply swat back. This somehow gets me off the hook.

After sitting in the window for a while, I jumped down right on the man peasant. This causes him to jackknife in bed and elicits chuckles from the woman peasant who always seems to side with me.

At last, I am fed.

If they continue to make me wait, I may have to resort back to ankle biting.

I am humbled.

It's good to know that the Catster sees my diary as a worthy pick. I am always eager to let other cats know a good way to get even with the humans for the things they do wrong.

Stay tuned fellow meowsters!

What in the world?

Ignore ME?? I purposely and cutely tapped your arm with my paw for attention and you IGNORE ME?


I think I'll have to yak on the carpet tonight while the peasants sleep.

-Yawn-

It was a good morning. I needed attention so I did the best thing. Jumped on the peasants bed and stood on "the spot" full weight until he bolted to the peasants litter box. That's always good for a laugh. It also makes the woman peasant laugh and that earns me a few scratches on the cheek. I humor her by purring for a while.

Now I am waiting for the man peasant to finish taking his morning bath. I'm horribly hungry and haven't been fed in almost 12 hours. How can they do this to me? I'll be sure to walk between his legs a few extra times this morning for good measure.


They are out the door. Time to torment the dog. Here poochie poochie!