February 23rd 2011 11:01 pm
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I can speak freely to you cause I have always been really shy and just a little timid around anyone besides my mom, dad and my siblings. I was born in March of 09 none of us are sure exactly when cause momcat hide with us and when my mom found us we were 6 or 8 weeks old. I died on October 8 2010. I had FIP. Mom looks back and wonders if I alwasy had the virus but was strong enough to fight it off until that week she took us all on a long "road trip". See mom and dad were going out of town for a week to keep mom's human nephews and even though the lady that feeds us when they are gone had agreed to come check on us mom and dad were worried about us being alone for a whole week.oh how I didn't want to go...none of us did. After we finally got to the guest house were we all stayed with mom and dad (just our family) we kinda all seemed ok but I stayed under the bed a lot and only came out to play a little bit and didn't eat much. A week later we came home and all seemed ok until three weeks after we got home from that trip mom went away again for the week end and when she returned she noiticed I was very resvered even for me. I came for treats, luvin, pets and a little food but just wasn't hungry, later that night mom said I was thinner, so we went to the Dr the next day, they pulled some blood and gave me antibotics and some Llysine (spell?) I didn't get better (it was a two week antibotic) we sent back 5 days later and they didn't know what was wrong. SO we found a feline specialist and she told dad I had FIP the dry form, but since there was no FIP test (just a bunch of other test that pointed to it) Dad did not have me PTS as she suggested. Mom spent three weeks assist feeding me loving me and praying but atlas this was a time when God told her "no" it was time for me to go. Mom's heart was so broken the day the dr. called and said "it's time if we don't do it today or tomorrow Alley will start to suffer termendous pain, as she is going into liver failure becuse she is not getting enough food and the FIP is eating her organs" Oh moma cried and told me how sorry she was but she didn't know what else to do, I could tell she tried to stay brave but she wsa so broken hearted, today i see her crying while she writes my diary, I think that's why she had never helped me write one before now. See mom always wonders maybe if she had not made me take that trip that one week she was going to be gone, maybe my immune system would have stayed strong, cause she did a lot of reading when I was sick and found out FIP is agravated by stress, the article said "reduce the stress and the cat can fight better".I always came to stay close to her when she laid down to rest. I tried so hard to stay with her even the night before the dr called and said I was going into liver failure, I had come out to play with the foil ball and the shoe string... I couldn't eat anymore it was hard to sallow even when she assisted me. Now my "shell" is buried behind the well shed on the family farm next to skids kitty. Mom has made a memorial for us here on catster and Tundra has made beautiful pictures for us.
Moma thanks for doing all you could and for taking care of Callie she looks better now. Remember dad was right "you are a good moma"
love you mom and dad
Uh uh. You're a TERRIFIC momma. One of the best.
It's really easy to second guess ourselves and wonder what we could have done differently. Your Mama loved you with all her heart, and that is what really matters, isn't it?
Lots of love, Tully
Thank you Alex and Tully yes that is what matters, most is that whatever time we have here the most important thing is love, and mom's love means so much
To Alley Cat Angel's mom-
Some things just aren't meant to be
no matter how hard you try and try,
and it devastates you.
Take comfort in that while she was
here, you deeply loved her, gave her
the best home and care.
Thanks Tundra for your comforting words you are so right just the other night I said as much to my husband. Since Alley had been born into a feral colony and when we could not adopt her out we almost gave her away to live as feral on the farm. I am so glad the short time she had here was with us and she knew we loved her.
Alley Cat was a beautiful kitty. There was nothing you could have done to alleviate or aggravate the FIP. My angel kitty Chessie (I don't have a page for her yet) developed FIP. She had the "wet" kind. It started out with a fever that wouldn't go away, then she developed swelling in her abdomen. We had to feed her baby food with an eye dropper - she wouldn't eat on her own. We kept her going for a few weeks, but had to make that inevitable decision to end her misery.
You were and are a great mom to your kitties.
Thanks Pumpkin we still miss her but the pain is less and the guilt (wondering if I made a bad choice on the road trip) is lessened. Thanks for reading her diary.