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The Squeaky Wheel ...

A Typical Conversation with my mom. (sigh)

August 7th 2010 8:47 am
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;< My mom has been remiss in updating my diary. I had to beg for a few minutes of her precious time. Our conversation went something like this:
p - Mom. Mom. Meeoooooowwwmmmmm!!!
m - Would you PLEASE give me a moment to respond?! Yes? How may I assist you today?
p - Why haven't you updated my diary?
m - You, madam decide when you want to be bothered. Remember those conversations? Besides all you do is lay around and sleep all day.
p - Well! You choose to ignore me. Insinuate the Alzheimer's is creeping up. You compare me to the dormant area rug!!!
m - One, do not get huffy with me Phoebe Ann (Tyler). Two, do not address me as if I am some sort of underling. Three, do not slit those eyes at me.
p - My thoughts and emotions control the slitting of my eyes. I cannot control either. In truth, one, you remind me more of Hastings today as you are definitely not in Miss Lemon mode and two, does not the rest of the world revolve around me?
m - I beg your pardon?
p - Yes. Of course. I mean, even when I am merely resting my eyes don't things that go on in the outside world have bearing on me and my world?
m - You watch too much PBS, Inspectress Poirot.
p - Do not be plebian. There is no such word or title as Insprectress.
m - Fine. I will update your diary accordingly Madame Poirot.
p - Accordingly!?
m - As things occur in the outside world, that may have some bearing on your inner world, I will update your diary with the utmost haste.
p - Thank you, Miss Lemon.
m - Umph! You are welcome. Also, I must admit, your command of the English language and mimicry continues to be amazing. I guess all this drama is what happens when you name a cat after a soap opera character.
p - Yes. The high drama involved in treading the boards suits me. It sharpens my thespian skills daily. My English as well as my acting is much better than that of the bean selling dog's isn't it?
m - His name, as you know, is Duke.
p - Yes. Yes, of course it is. He is very ... entertaining. May I have a treat?
m - You are sooooooooo into this Poirot thing aren't you?
p - ... and? (sigh) The treat?


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