NEW CAT IS FOUND,AND MY UPSET STOMACH

HI. TAZMANIAN DEVIL HERE. OK,SO THE NEW CAT JENNY. MY WIFE GIDGIT CALLS HER A "PHANTOM CAT" CAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS DISAPPEARING! HA! WELL,ANYWAYS,WE FOUND HER! THUNDER AND I ARE HAVING A COMPETITION ON HOW MANY BOY AND GIRL CATS WE HAVE. WHEN JENNY IS MISSING,BOY CATS RULE,WE HAVE FOUR BOYS AND ONLY THREE GIRLS! BUT WHEN JENNY IS HERE,WE HAVE AN EQUAL NUMBER!

THURSDAY,THE DAY OF THE ROYAL WEDDING,I WAS REALLY SICK. I SAID "YUM,YUM,YUM" AND GOT SICK EVERYWHERE LIKE FOUR TIMES! MOM THINKS IT WAS BECAUSE I HAD JUST SEEN THE ROYAL COUSINS'S OUTFITS ON TV DURING THE ROYAL WEDDING! GEE,DID YOU SEE WHAT BEATRICE WAS WEARING? IT LOOKED LIKE SHE HAD BUNNY EARS! OR AS MOM'S FRIEND HANNA SAYS,"LOOKS LIKE SHE HAD AN OCTOPUS ON HER HEAD!" I MEAN SERIOUSLY,IF THAT'S THE LATEST FASHION...

WEATHER WARMING UP. PRETTY SOON IT WILL BE PETUNIA TIME. TIME FOR ME TO STALK THEM.
HAVE A DEVILISH NIGHT,tAz
CURRENT MOOD:HEADING FOR MY SCRATCHING POST,MOM JUST SAW ME COME IN FROM THE HALLWAY

NEW CAT

HI. TAZMANIAN DEVIL HERE. SO,WE GOT A NEW FAMILY MEMBER OVER THE EASTER WEEKEND. NAME'S JENNY,SHE WAS A FORMER FERAL. I DON'T FEEL LIKE TYPING OUT THE WHOLE STORY,SO JUST GO ON AND READ GIDGIT'S ENTRY. JENNY'S FINE,I MEAN SHE'S NOT BAD,NOW WE HAVE FOUR GIRL CATS,FOUR BOY CATS. DARN,I LIKED WHEN THERE WERE FIVE HANDSOME MAN CATS,AND ONLY THREE GIRLS,HA! ANYWAYS,MY EASTER WAS GOOD,SADLY I DIDN'T GET ANY GOODIES,WHICH DIDN'T EXACTLY THRILL ME,BUT THEN AGAIN,I WAS NAUGHTY ON SATURDAY AND TRIED TO GET INTO SOME CAKE MOM BROUGHT HOME FROM HER GRANDMA'S. HOPE YA'ALL HAD GOOD EASTERS.
HAVE A DEVILISH NIGHT,tAz
CURRENT MOOD:IT'S A RAINY DAY OUT,SO I'M SLEEPING. ALSO,MOM TRIMMED MY NAILS TODAY,I'M SOOO EMBARRASSED!

PICTURES. ALSO,CAKE IS GOOD. GOING IN,ANYWAYS...

HI. GLAD I COULD FINALLY GET SOME COMPUTER TIME TO MYSELF,MY WIFE GIDGIT,SHE'S ALWAYS ON. K,SO ABOUT THE CAKE. I WROTE A WHOLE LONG ENTRY ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY,BUT THE COMPUUTER FROZE UP BEFORE I COULD SAVE IT. SO,NOW I HAVE TO TYPE IT AGAIN. GREAT.
SO THUNDER. MY SISFUR. HER BIRTHDAY WAS ON WEDNESDAY,AND MOM GOT HER A CAKE. I HAD SOME OF THAT CAKE. IT WAS DELISH. SADLY,I DIDN'T KEEP IT INSIDE. I FELT SICK THE NEXT MORNING. SO,VERY EARLY,AND VERY LOUDLY,I RAN DOWNSTAIRS,BUT DIDN'T QUITE MAKE IT,SO OUT IT CAME ON THE STAIRS. THEN I RAN.
AS FOR PICTURES,HAVE YA'LL NOTICED THAT CATSTER PLUS NOW LETS YAU HAVE 200? SO,MOM ADDED A BUNCH MORE FOR ME,AND ONE OF HER HOLDING ME. I LOVE MOM. I MEAN,HUMANS CAN BE RIDICULOUS,BUT MOM SAVED MY LIFE,SO I GUESS I CAN JUST PUT UP WITH HER.
HAVE A DEVILISH NIGHT,tAz
CURRENT MOOD:COOL

I ATE PLANT

HI. TAZ,OF COURSE. NOW,MY WIFE GIDGIT KINDA ALREADY SPOILED MY NEWS ON HER DIARY ENTRY,BUT IT'S FINE,I FORGIVE YOU,GIDGIT. ANYWAYS,THERE'S STILL A LOT TO TELL. OK,SO HERE GOES. MOM GOT THIS PLANT LAST SUMMER. IT'S CALLED A MONEY TREE. DON'T ASK ME WHY IT'S CALLED THAT,WHEN MOM FIRST BROUGHT IT HOME I SAW GIDGIT STARING AT IT EXPECTING TO SEE BIG DOLLAR BILLS BUT THERE WEREN'T ANY. IT WAS JUST A SMALL POTTED PLANT WITH LONG,SLENDER LEAVES THAT SAT UP ON THE COUNTER WITH THE OTHER PLANTS. BY WHERE THE SNAIL'S TANK USED TO GO. NOW,WHEN THE SNAIL WAS UP THERE IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO FIT UP THERE,TOO. WELL,AFTER THE SNAIL DIED,THE TANK GOT MOVED SO THERE WAS A PERFECT SPACE FOR SITTING ON THE COUNTER NEXT TO THE MONEY TREE. ALL I HAD TO DO TO GET UP THERE WOULD BE JUMP ON THE LOW COUNTER BY THE SINK AND THEN CLIMB UP TO THE COUNTER LEDGE,SIT DOWN,AND HAVE ME A GOOD CHEW ON THAT PLANT. THE FIRST TIME I DID IT,I WAS SCARED I WOULD GET IN TROUBLE,SO I DID IT WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING. EVERYTHING WENT FINE. PLANT WAS DELICIOUS,NO ONE CAUGHT ME. THE SECOND TIME I DID IT IN SECRET AGAIN. THEN,IT BECAME A HABIT. EVERY NIGHT I WOULD SNEAK OUT AND LITTLE BY LITTLE THE PLANT'S LEAVES WOULD START TO DISAPPEAR. FINALLY,AFTER A FEW DAYS OF NOT GETTING CAUGHT I DECIDED TO TRY IT. WHEN MOM AND HER FAMILY WERE EATING BREAKFAST I CLIMBED UP THERE AND STARTED TO NIBBLE ON THE PLANT. CRUNCH CRUNCH. MOM LOOKED UP AND SAW ME. I GOT A SQUIRT IN THE FACE WITH THAT AWFUL SQUIRT BOTTLE THAT SEEMS TO KNOW WHENEVER I'M DOING SOMETHING I SHOULDN'T BE DOING. I JUMPED DOWN,BUT A FEW MINUTES LATER TRIED IT AGAIN. GOT CAUGHT AGAIN. I JUMPED DOWN. I THOUGHT ABOUT GOING BACK FOR MORE,BUT MY STOMACH WAS FEELING QUEASY. AHH,I DIDN'T FEEL DO GOOD. I'M ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT PLANT MADE ME SICK,I DID MY "YUM,YUM,YUM" AND GOT SICK ON THE FLOOR. MOM LAUGHED AND WAS LIKE,"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR EATING PLANTS!" I STARED UP AT THAT MONEY TREE WITH AN ANGRY EYE. MOM'S MOM WENT TO LOOK AT IT. I HAD CHEWED IT ALL UP. NOT MUCH LEFT. IT HAD TO BE THROWN AWAY. I WAS A LITTLE UPSET,BUT THE NEXT DAY I NOTICED THE PLANT THAT WAS IN THE POT NEXT TO WHERE THE MONEY TREE HAD BEEN. OHH,THAT LOOKED TASTY. I JUMPED UP THERE,NOT BOTHERING TO CHECK AND SEE IF ANYONE WAS LOOKING. I GOT CAUGHT. SQUIRTED,TOO. AND THE PLANT GOT SQUIRTED,SO I WOULDN'T CHEW IT AGAIN. MOM HOPES I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. WE DON'T HAVE ANY PLANTS THAT WOULD REALLY MAKE A CAT SICK,BUT GOSH,JUST A LITTLE TIP:SOMETIMES,DON'T GO FOR THE NAMES. I MEAN,I TOTALLY THOUGHT I WOULD BECOME RICH IF I ATE THAT PLANT. INSTEAD,I GOT SICK. JUST A LESSON. THAT I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY.
HAVE A DEVILISH NIGHT,tAz

MY PAGE

HI. TAZ HERE. HAS ANYONE SEEN MY NEW PAGE? MOM GOT ME A COOL "MAN CAT" CURSOR. IT'S PURRFECT FOR ME. IT'S A GUITAR WITH MUSIC! ISN'T THAT NICE? AND SHE MADE ME A BLINGEE PIC THAT'S ALSO ON MY PAGE. SHE GAVE ME DEVIL HORNS! HAHA,MOM.
WEATHER'S GOOD TODAY. SPRAWLED OUT BY THE BACK DOOR THIS MORNING. WAS REALLY ENJOYING MYSELF. THEN THAT DEMON DOGGY MARLIN COMES UP AND TRIES TO LICK ME SO I WALK OFF AND DO SOME LICKING MYSELF. GIDGIT WAS MAKING QUITE A FUSS FROM THE BATHROOM. I TRIED MY BEST TO HIDE. THANK GOODNESS MOM RAN OUT OF CAT SHAMPOO! BUT HOPEFULLY I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. AFTERALL,I'M RETIRED!
HAVE A DEVILISH WEEKEND,tAz

HOW COME I DIDN'T GET TO GO TO CANADA???

HUMANS. THEY MAKE ME CRAZY. ESPECIALLY THE ONES I LIVE WITH. THEY WENT TO CANADA. WITHOUT ME!! AND THE SNAIL WASN'T EVEN THERE TO KEEP ME COMPANY! MOM PUT GIDGIT IN CHARGE OF THE HOUSE BEFORE SHE LEFT. GIDGIT! AS IF SHE COULD KEEP EVERYONE SAFE FROM DANGER! EVERYTIME I HEARD A NOISE I LEPT TO ATTENTION,READY TO SAVE US ALL FROM CERTAIN DEATH. OH,THAT WAS JUST THE WIND. SORRY.
HAVE A DEVILISH DAY,tAz

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.

THE DEVIL IS ME. TAZMANIAN DEVIL. I ACT LIKE ONE,TOO. THE SNAIL IS DEAD. HE IS A GHOST NOW. SCARY. MOM IS THRILLED,NOW SHE CAN HAVE FISH AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HAVING THEM BEING EATEN. I WAS SO HOPING THE SNAIL WOULD LIVE FOREVER AND SHE WOULD FINALLY JUST GET FISH,THE SNAIL WOULD EAT THEM,AND LET ME SHARE IN THE FEAST. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE. OH,YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE CAT SHOW? I KNOW MY WIFE GIDGIT WROTE ABOUT THAT. SHE WENT WITH ME. HERE IT IS FROM MY POINT OF VIEW.
WAY TOO EARLY ON A SATURDAY MORNING I AM GETTING PUT INTO A CAT CARRIER AND PUT IN THE CAR. (NOT TO MENTION THE AWFUL BATH I HAD HAD THE DAY BEFORE AND THE HOUR OF BLOW DRYING MOM DID TO GET MY "ROSSETTES" SWIRLY TO IMPRESS THE JUDGES. BAH! IF JUDGES CARE ABOUT STUFF AS STUPID AS THAT IT'S A WASTE OF TIME. I MEAN,MY ROSSETTES! COME ONNN...)
MOM'S MOM STOPS AND PICKS UP MOM'S BEST FRIEND HANNA. IN THE CAR HANNA HOLDS ME WHILE MOM BRUSHES ME. HANNA TAKES PICTURES OF ME SO I CAN PUT THEM ON CATSTER. I GROWL UNDER MY BREATH AT HER AND MAKE A BIG POINT OF GETTING ALL THE FUR FROM THE BRUSH TO MAGICALLY APPEAR ON HANNA'S JACKET. GIDGIT JUST SOAKS IT ALL UP,PURRING AND WATCHING THE WORLD GO BY,LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. DUMB. WHEN WE GET TO THE SHOW IT'S WORSE. GIDGIT AND I WENT INTO OUR CAT STROLLER AND AS MOM WHEELS US AROUND WE HEAR PEOPLE SAYING STUFF LIKE "OH MY GOSH,IS THAT A "CAT" IN THERE?" AND "AWW,THAT CAT IS BALD!" MORE THAN ONE PERSON CALLED ME A GIRL. WHEN WE ARE ON THE MAIN CAT SHOW FLOOR MOM PUTS GIDGIT AND ME IN THE SAME CAGE AND DECORATES IT WITH THE CLOTH SHE DRAPES OVER THE CAGE WHICH IS PINK. (EMBARRASSSSSSSSIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!) AND SHE PUTS SPHYNX STUFF UP. WHERE IS THE BENGAL STUFF? HUH.. H-U-M-A-N-S. THEN BEFORE JUDGING I GET MY TEETH BRUSHED. JUDGING. I SIT ON THE TABLE WHILE EVERYONE FUSSES OVER ME AND MOM AND HANNA LAUGH AND TAKE PICTURES. I TURN TO STARE AT THE JUDGE. YOU AREN'T MESSING WITH ME. SHE SHOWS ME A TOY,AND I STARE STRAIGHT AHEAD,MOM SAYS SHE COULD JUST SEE ME DRUMMING MY TOES AGAINST THE TABLE AND ROLLING MY EYES. AFTER THAT JUDGE ANOTHER JUDGE. GIDGIT SMACKED HER ON THE HEAD,WHICH WAS PRETTY SMART. SHE SAYS SHE HAD A SPHYNX AND GIDGIT THOUGHT THAT SPHYNX WAS TANK. I SMELLED HER. SHE SMELLED FINE. I STILL DIDN'T LIKE HER. I GROWLED AT HER. THEN LUNCH BREAK CAME. BACK IN THE STROLLER,PUSHED THROUGH THE CROWDED HALLWAYS OF THE SHOW. PEOPLE SAYING THEIR STUPID STUFF. GIDGIT TURNED UP HER NOSE AT THE CHEESE FRIES. SHE WAS NERVOUS ABOUT HER JUDGING AND FEELING BADLY ABOUT HITTING THE JUDGE. AFTER THAT WE WENT BACK UPSTAIRS,GIDGIT GOT THE "MOST VELVET LIKE SKIN" AWARD AND A FIFTH PLACE RIBBON. (YEAH,FROM THE JUDGE SHE HIT. SHE SURE KNOWS HOW TO PUT ON THE CHARM THAT GIDGIT.) THEN I WON A NINTH PLACE ROSSETTE AND MOM WAS SO HAPPY. BIG DEAL. THE NEXT DAY WAS WORSE. I GOT ONE EIGHTH PLACE ROSSETTE AND THAT WAS IT. GIDGIT GOT ANOTHER FIFTH PLACE,AND TWO FIRST PLACES. ONE FOR HER COSTUME,SHE HAD A BATHING SUIT AND HEADBAND ON, (HOW DOES SHE PUT UP WITH THAT?)AND THE OTHER FOR A JUDGE THAT DIDN'T USED TO REALLY LIKE HER. BUT THAT'S GIDGIT. EVERYONE LOVES HER. ON THE WAY HOME IN THE CAR I CONSIDERED SAYING "YUM,YUM,YUM",AND GETTING SICK ALL OVER MOM JUST TO SHOW MY DISPLEASURE. BUT I DIDN'T. I AM PROUD OF THAT. THE END.
HAVE A DEVILISH NIGHT,TAZ
CURRENT MOOD:DEVILISH

SO THE DUMB OLD CAT SHOW IS TOMORROW

HI. TOMORROW IS THE "BIG DAY". HA! AND I HAVE TO GO HAVE A BATH NOW! AND GET ALL CLEAN AND STUFF. I AM SOO EMBARRASSED,IT'S SOO GIRLY! UGH... AND I JUST HAD A BATH LAST WEEK! AGAIN,HUMANS ARE SOO ANNOYING,RIGHT? THIS IS GOING TO BE INTERESTING. AND GIDGIT GETTING ALL HYPER AND BUBBLY NOW DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER. SHE'S GOING ON AND ON ABOUT SOME KIND OF CHEESE FRIES. WHO CARES?!? I DON'T. I CARE ABOUT SNAILS. AND I THINK THE SNAIL DIED TODAY. I AM NOT SURE THOUGH. HE CAN'T TALK,REMEMBER? MOM WOULD BE KIND OF GLAD. SHE WANTS FISH! AND THAT SNAIL IS JUST TAKING UP SPACE AND IT EATS FISH. I EAT FISH,TOO. ONE TIME WHEN OLIVER WAS A KITTEN HE KNOCKED THE LID OFF THE TANK WITH MOM'S FROG AND ATE THE FROG. LUCKY! I GET STUCK WITH LEFTOVER PIZZA CRUST. HUMANS.
HAVE A DEVILISH NIGHT,tAz
CURRENT MOOD:NOT IMPRESSED

LOVE AND MISS YA MY FURBRO BUDDY HERMIE

MY GOOD,GOOD BUDDY IS GONE. HERMIE LEFT US FOR THE RAINBOW BRIDGE YESTERDAY MORNIN'. OH,I AM GONNA MISS HIM SO MUCH! I LOVED HIM! WE WERE SUCH GOOD BUDDIES. WE LOVED GROOMIN' EACHOTHER AND HANGIN' OUT. OH,MAN,IT JUST SEEMS LIKE WE WERE CHILLIN' ON THAT SNOWMAN PILLOW OVER CHRISTMAS VACATION YESTERDAY. GEE,I DON'T CRY OFTEN,BUT I'M SOBBIN' FOR YA BRO. DUNNO WHAT I'M GONNA DO IN THE SUMMER. YOU WERE ALWAYS HANGIN' 'ROUND IN THE BACKYARD WATCHIN' BIRDS WITH ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO CLIMB FENCES. CREEP THROUGH THE GRASS LIKE A SCARY TIGER. STALK BIRDS AND GRASSHOPPERS. YEAH,THAT'S RIGHT. WHO'S GONNA SHARE THE GRASSHOPPERS I CATCH WITH ME IN THE SUMMER? MAN,THIS IS GONNA BE HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. I KNOW MY WIFE GIDGIT THOUGHT THE WORLD OF YA. WE ALL DID. REST WELL,I'M NEVER GONNA FORGET YOU.
LOVE,TAZ

SOOO,I GOTTA GO TO ANOTHER CAT SHOW,DO I NOW?

RATS. WITH A CAPITAL R. YEAH,IT'S TRUE. HUMANS! *SIGHS AND ROLLS EYES* OK,I AM EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT IT,BUT TWO YEARS AGO I DID REALLY WELL AT A CAT SHOW. I GOT SECOND PLACE AND FIFTH BEST IN SHOW. I WENT WITH MY WIFE GIDGIT. WELL,LAST YEAR,MOM TOOK ME BACK TO THE SHOW AND I WAS FED UP TO HERE. *PUSHES PAWS TO THE CEILING* I HISSED AT THE JUDGES,SO MOM TOOK HERMIE IN THE NEXT DAY. SO. I THOUGHT MY SHOW CAREER WAS OVER? JK,JK,JK,NOPE! APPARENTLY NOT. CAUSE NOW THIS SHOW MOM WAS HOPING TO SHOW TIA AT IS ONLY HAVING HOUSEHOLD PET THIS YEAR SO SHE CAN'T GO. GIDGIT IS GOING. AND GUESS WHO ELSE? YEAH,ME! HUMANS!!! AND ALSO,ON TOP OF THAT,I AM DUE FOR MY VACCINES NEXT WEEK.BEST. WEEK. OF. MY. LIFE. I'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED. MOM SAYS WHEN I WANT TO BE I AM GOOD AND ACTUALLY LIKE SHOWS,AND I WAS GOOD FOR MY BATH ON WEDNESDAY. HA! I WAS JUST PUTTING UP WITH IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO LOOK GOOD FOR MY DATE WITH GIDGIT. HAHAHA! SO,YEAH. WILL KEEP YA POSTED. I'M OUTTA HERE. CHILL,PEACE,tAz
CURRENT MOOD:ON THE COUCH,WATCHING MOM TYPE THIS FOR ME,I FEEL LIKE "I" AM THE MASTER,AFTERALL,SHE DOES STUFF FOR ME,SO,IT'S LIKE,I AM THE MASTER,SHE IS THE WORKER?