July 9th 2010 8:56 pm
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Dear Alex, my sweet little baby girl,
I can’t believe it’s been two years since you left this world. It still pains me after all this time. I love and miss you so much my little furry daughter. You were here with me for such a short time. But in that short time you taught me so much. You were an angel sent here to rescue my heart and when you left, you took a big piece of it with you.
There are so many things about you I still miss. I miss how we would watch TV together. You’d lie on my stomach and put your head on my chest where my heart is and fall asleep cradled in my arms. I miss how you’d jump on the bed, sit there and stare at me, patiently waiting for me to go to bed and snuggle. It was our favorite thing to do. Then I would lay on my left side and stretch out my arm, you’d plop yourself on your left side, spooned tightly up against me with your head on my shoulder. I’d slide my arm and hand in between your paws so we were holding hands. Then you’d put your head backwards up against my lips and just stay there forever while I gave you a thousand kisses.
During thunderstorms you’d hide in the closet. I’d go in with you and we’d lie on a blanket while I rubbed your belly and back. Sometimes we’d even fall asleep there until the storm was gone. I miss how you used to sit on your window perch and look outside at the birds. They’d fly so close to the window and taunt you constantly. When you died, the birds kept coming and even sat on the roof looking in the window for you. You were so adorable when you’d roll around on the floor and meow until I paid attention to you, as if to say, “look at me momma, look at me!” Every once in awhile you even said the word momma!
Whenever I was upset about something, depressed or sick, you’d come over and lick my tears, put your head on my lap or my arms and look up at me with eyes that just healed me. Those adoring, devoted eyes made everything better. I greatly miss how you would start a meow and end up yawning halfway through it. Your yawns would always sound just like Snoopy on the Peanuts cartoons. I wish I had pictures of how you’d be sleeping and stretch out your legs and spread your toes, cover your face with your front paws and stick out your tongue all at the same time. You stole everyone’s heart from the minute you came into my life.
I know you’re still here with me and visit me all the time. The two little buggers you sent me play with someone invisible all the time. When they’re in another room sleeping, I feel you on the top of the couch, rubbing up against my head and purring loudly in my ear. I feel you jump on my bed in the morning just like you used to do. Finn and Lacey are locked out of the bedroom so it’s not them. But I can feel you walking up my bed to come to my face and let me know you’re still doing our morning ritual.
I know you sent them here to keep me from descending into blackness after you died. I needed to have some comic relief and you knew that. I would never have started IBD Kitties if I didn’t have them to lighten things up around here. I couldn’t have thrown myself into the work you inspired me to do while being alone. You continue to be an incredible catalyst for change and because of you and the awful sickness that took you away, other kitties are getting the chance you never had. I tried with every fiber of my being to help you live but it wasn’t meant to be. Angels have a specific job here on earth and usually leave soon after. But I feel you stronger than ever watching over these other babies, leading me to seek them out wherever they are. We still have a lot of work left to do; we’re really just getting started.
I love you so much little girl, I hope you know how important you are to so many. You are that shining light of hope, the star that guides my every effort to make a positive difference. As much as my heart hurts tonight, I know I’ll see you someday on the other side and hold you in my arms again. I can’t wait to feel those sandpaper kisses.
Love, Headbonks & Purrs
Your mom Lisa
awww that is very sweet and loving, we kitties know u miss her and we hope u feel better
Alex, we know how much your mommy misses you but we wanted to tell you that you've left an amazing legacy here on earth where you're helping an incredible number of kitties feel better and get well. There's plenty of kitties that need your mom's help so she's staying busy although we know she thinks of you often. We'll take care of her down here while you take care of the kitties at the bridge!
Purrs for you and mom,
BK & Teddy
Sorry that your mum is sad on your bridge anniversary. sending hugs and purrs, Freckles
What a sweet and heartfelt letter your Mom has written to you.
I am so glad that you came to rescue her heart. In your short time together you shared a lifetime of love.
Soft purrs of comfort to your Mom on the sad anniversary of your second year at the Bridge.
That is a beautiful, touching letter. What a beautiful relationship you had - though it was too short. But your momma is doing so much good to help many other kitties; you inspired her! I don't know how you say goodbye to such an amazing kitty? I already grieve at the thought of losing Gumpy - I've never lost a cat who was so part of my heart. We understand the bond and we are sending support and love, and we're grateful for the good you're doing in Alex's memory.
Gentle purrs & love,
Gump and Mom
Hello everyone, I have awoken today on this anniversary to find such wonderful and special messages from you all that it fills my heart with joy and love. The healing you are all giving me is the best gift I could ever have and I love you all and am so thankful for that. Alex gave me so much in life but in death she's given me a million new and wonderful friends and bonds and you all fill up those spots of my heart that she left behind. Thank you for helping me get through this difficult day. If any of you are ever blessed to know such a bond and love as this, cherish it every day of your life. Kiss all your babies for me!
Luv Lisa, Alex, Finney and Lacey
Sounds like you and your mom were real soul mates...and that you had a wonderful and loving mom and life while you were on the earth. I am glad you helped your mom after your death to carry on...sometimes it seems impossible to go on...but look what she is doing now! If your mom wants, she can come to my page and read a poem about us, (we were a litter of 5 foster kittens killed at 8 weeks old)...the grief over our deaths almost engulfed our mom too...
My heart just breaks for you! I know the love that you have for Alex and the grief that you feel, too.
It is wonderful that you were able to take such a tragic event in your life and do something so positive with it. You have helped many cats and their humans to find answers to help them fight a terrible disease.
Thank you so much!
Arlye and Purrcy
Thank you Purrcy and mom! We love you very much and you're such a brave boy for what you've been through too. You are a tough little guy and will keep your mom company for a long time to come, we'll see to that! I miss my girl today, something fierce. But I'm so lucky for the love she gave me and the legacy she left behind. Thanks for helping other kitties by being a part of my site. I'm so glad you're still here with us.
What a beautiful, touching letter. Mama got very leaky reading it.
Alex, you are lucky girl to have such a wonderful mom. She obviously misses you very much. It sounds like the two of you made a very special pair and that your journey to the Bridge has left a hole even Lacey and Finn can't quite fill.
My vet says that, if we're lucky, we'll find a pawrent to connect with on a very deep level. I have that with my mama and you have that with yours. Your mom has very unselfishly used her loss to help others and we are proud and honored to be a part of the IBD kitties website.
You and your mom will be together again one day and it will be even sweeter than it was before because there won't be that nasty old disease in the way. Sending lots of love and purrs to you and your mom on a very bittersweet day.
Sally Maria & her mama
Alex, your mama's letter made my mama's eyes leak. We also have a bedtime ritual, and it is these little things that our mamas will remember when we go to the Bridge. Your love is a reminder to us all to cherish each other as long as we can.
Such a beautiful letter. I am crying so much that I can hardly see to write this. I still hurt when the anniversary of my dog Casey comes around, and it has been 5 years. I wrote a poem right after, and I still cry when I read it. all those little things you wrote about that made Alex special. Those are the little pawprints on your heart, that stay forever. They are such gifts to us I think that is why it hurts so much when they have to leave. Sending you belated thoughts and understanding. Purrs to you, Tigger & Maizy's mom