December 7th 2011 11:00 pm
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Finney's mom here. I am besides myself. As some of you know a couple of days ago I was sitting here at my computer and had my hand down beside me by the chair arm. Finney was running up to me and ran into my hand poking himself in the eye with my finger. This was over 3 days ago and he has been running away from me ever since. I did nothing to him and he's acting like I beat him! For a week straight before this he was massively lovey dovey with me and now he's the complete opposite! Like I'm not even his mom. I have been doing everything I can to get him to forget about this but he won't. I give him treats, I even managed to pick him up and kiss him continuously for a few minutes. But he will not stop this! He looks at me with horror and it's killing me! I have been crying because I don't know what to do. I don't understand this. I honestly am ready to lose it. I have so much to worry about around here and nowt this! I have no idea what his problem is and what I'm supposed to do about it. I've tried leaving him alone. He acts like he wants to come over to me and then the minute I look at him he goes running. I call him sweetly and move slowly but he runs. I am so so so upset. I just don't know what to do but I cannot have a cat that hates me. I just can't. And over something as stupid as him poking himself in the eye with my finger! I would never in a million years hurt him.
I trip over Lacey all the time and she could care less. She comes running right back to me. I'm downstairs several times a day popping pills into Midnight's mouth, sticking a needle in her for sub q fluids, all kinds of things. She comes right back over to me and wants me to give her more kisses. But this makes no sense! None!!! Ugh, I just can't say enough how upset this is making me, I don't know what else to do. I've tried catnip, treats, leaving him alone, speaking softly like I always do and trying to get him to come out. Nope. He hates me. Finnegan hates me now and it's killing me.
Just try giving him some time. I'm sure he doesn't hate you and will come around.
Finney - you stop being a poopyhead right this instant!
Maybe try sitting quietly on the floor and reading a book out loud and just kinda ignoring him. Let him come over to you, and if he runs away, just ignore him. I bet he comes closer each time.
Don't worry! He'll come out of it soon and forget all about it. It'll be ok, I promise!
Finney, get da poop outta yous brain, and go love yous momma...right now!!!
Oh, I know all about this one! Once... my daddy accidentally stepped on my tail, I acted like it was the END OF THE WORLD! HE BEAT ME!!! I was freaking out, I cowered behind mommy every time he came into the room, I cried bloody murder if he tried to touch me until mommy came to save me, I was just so scared, it lasted for about 48 hours, which is the average River adjustment time to something super duper scary, and then I outgrew it. My daddy is the NICEST man in the world, he's not at all scary, I sleep on his head all the time, but for some reason, after this accident, I FREAKED. Sometimes it just takes time. Don't worry, Rivers take 48 hours, maybe Finneys just need 72+ hours to recover? He will get over it eventually. Finney, buddy, listen to me, your mommy DID NOT MEAN TO HURT YOU! Get some cat treats and sympathy playtime out of it and bounce back buddy, I promise, it's ok!
Finny still loves you! All you need to do is make cuppycakes together and he will forget everything:) He is too handsome to hold a grudge, accidents happen and he will get over it. Dont be sad, you are the best momcat ever and he loves you with all his heart. Love, Tate
Finney, buddy. It was an accident. Accidents happen. Once Mom stepped on my paw with heavy birkenstock shoes and I screamed. I thought my paw was gonna fall off. I forgave her right away. Now Finney, would it help maybe if your Mom told you out loud that she is sorry and she didn't mean for you to get hurt and she is so sorry about it and you're just the bestest cat ever ever in the the whole world? Maybe your Mom already told you that?
Play? Can Mom play with you? Would that make you a happy cat? We all love playtime right? and while you're batting at the toy maybe accidentally you'll touch her hand with your paw and you'll see her hand does not hurt you.
Boys! Boys are such poopyheads sometimes. What are you gonna do with them? And people say girls are complicated. Nope. I'm gonna tell Lacey to bop you on the head, Finney, to get the poopy out of you and make you behave again.
When Mom steps on Pinkie's tail, she skittish for a few days.
I don't think that Finney hates you. He is just associating something that possible hurt with coming close to you right now and may need some time.
Now Finney, you need to tell Mom that it is okay and that you don't hate her. She feels really bad.
His eye probably still hurts a little, so you won't make progress until it goes away, then he will finally forget about it altogether. You didn't mean it, and he doesn't either - it's just an instinct. He was all lovey before, and he will be again!! Luv, Tink
I am soooo soorryyy Finney is a bit of a scardey kitteh right now. I agree wif all the suggestions and ya may try putting wet food on you fingers. That way he associates food wif your fingers and hands. You'll be okay. He just wants to make peace on his terms the poopey head!
We joke the BUBs meower is broken...she has these little squeaky meows. That is until we stepped on her tail two nights in a row.She yowled! She did much the same thing-big accusing scared eyes, weird avoidant behavior.
Our answer was to go over and make much of her, and then to feed her and treat her like it was any other day.
I'm with Biggles on this...some cats take 'notions'. All mine do at one time or another.
There are a few things you can do. The main thing to remember firstly is the energy around you is charged with whatever you're feeling. They feel it much more keenly than we do...it's years and years of reading energy to survive.
Relax, lay down flat on the floor on your back. Breathe. Just lay there. Don't do anything.
This intrigues my cats. They get nosey. They have to figure out what I'm doing there, near to where they are.
This will probably eventually work because he'll get nosey and not figure out why your laying there. And when does you can do the slow, drawn out blink.
My cats sense the energy in my apartment. When things were weird, they were stressed. If you're stressed he's picking up on it....and all your feelings. You need to calm yourself, and talk to him in the language they speak...which means calming yourself, slowing your movements, and breathing deeply and evenly and moving slower.
The other possiblity is he's not feeling well. Ruffy always becomes more withdrawn when he's not feeling well, quieter. Maybe a vet check is in order?
Hang in there, it will be ok....
The KG cats mom
I tried ALL of those suggestions, I really did! His eye looks fine, I didn't even poke him that hard. Maybe he is mad at me about Midnight but I don't understand that because I've been taking care of Midnight like this for 2 years now. Why all of a sudden? When I do ignore him, he does try to come to me. The minute I even turn my head and look at him or even barely put my hand out for him to sniff, he has this look in his eye as if I was a stranger. He cowers and runs. It's AWFUL. I can't even look at him? He's been moody before when I've accidentally poked him because he moved too fast but never, ever this bad or this long. sigh. I am so upset. I just can't understand this. I feel like my son is gone and some strange kitty is here.
Yesterday I picked him up and hugged him and kissed him continuously for at least 3 minutes. He purred but wanted to get away from me and when I put him down he ran again. At night he's still coming in the bedroom and trying to climb the curtains and make me mad. But he doesn't want me touch him. Is he just having a major temper tantrum?
I didn't try the laying on the floor, maybe later today when I have a chance and everything is quiet I'll do that. I can't help it that I've been upset with Midnight being so sick this week. I thought we were going to lose her. She's doing a lot better now but now this one is being a jerk. I can't catch a break. I hear ya about the energy, I'm trying, I really am! I am a mess right now and I know that. I have been so stressed and depressed lately. I guess I don't understand why this is any different for him than any other time. My dad stresses me out a lot so it's not like I've never come upstairs feeling exhausted and drained before. Maybe it's the full moon coming on Saturday that's helping this behavior, I don't know. sigh.
I think he needs some of Kitty P's hissy pills, MOL.
Awwww, Auntie Lisa, Finney still loves you.
Maybe something happened to him when he was little concerning his eyes and this freaked him out a little. Maybe he is also picking up on your upset vibes with everything else you're dealing with right now. You just have to give the big floofy boy a little extra time with this. You know us cats can do this kind of thing - it's our purrogative. Maybe you could put something tasty on your fingers and hands to help him get past this?? IDK, just a thought.
Sending lotsa purrs!
You better straighten up, Finney, cause Santa Paws is watching and you won't get any presents. Like Monida said, stop being a poopyhead, although I kind of like that you're a poopyhead cause it made me MOL when a girl said it!
Let's reboot. Don't worry about trying to figure out WHY Finney is being this way, let's just concentrate on getting him back to normal. Try some clicker training. My mom can give you some ideas if you pawmail her.
if ewe want R opinion or may bee ewe dont but we iz gonna give it anayway...finn be yankin yur chain az they say....if him wuz trooly afraid oh ewe, he wood be hidin....all de time......give sum a tent shun ta lacey..N ignore finn while ewe iz doin sew...ewe will be surprized how fast him will come round.....
Auntie Lisa, mes is so sorry Finny is bein' a kitty poopey-head! It will get better, just right now it don't feel 'dat way. Mes mom an' me had diz happen after I got my casts off. I went runnin' far far away from her. She didn' seez me at all for almost a week. I just hid in da basement with the spiders. she'd just see my eyes glowin' under the bookself so her knew I was dere. She got to thinkin' I hated her too. She did da the layin' on the floor thing. Just lay there, imagine dat! I came an sniffed her face. She still didn' move or nothin'. Just lay dere!. Then after I went away, she got up and left. Well, I started to ge curious 'den. She came back later, did da same thing. I came more quicker the second time. But she never moved while I was there for the first day. Den slowly she would start talkin' and makin' buuurrdie noises. Second day she had a little feather toy that she would flip a little with one finger, then gradually worked up to more motion. After a couple a dayz we waz buds again. Finny - you really need to be nice to yur mom now!
I notice with mine sometimes, the more they are "ignored" the more they try to get in your face. When I am really trying to work, Maizy will sit right in front of my ace with the "I am such a lost orphaned kitty" look. I do know from experience that stress can do it. You have the usual stresses that you always have, and then worrying more about Midnight, and then worrying about Finney being a naughty boy - it makes a heap o stress. Next time he tries to come by you, don't move at all, and see what he does. I got the cold shoulder for a while after I had to take Tig in for all that stuff in the spring - and as a matter fact, I had him outside the other day, and accidentally stepped on his toe when I was moving the garbage can. He gave me the "look of horror" but it's all good. I know it is easier said than done, but really try to relax and not worry. This too shall pass. hugs & paw pats
Oh, Dear! Finney you need to be nicer to your mom...but yeah, meowmy stepped on my tail once and I bit her ankle and drew blood...and then all was fine...hmmm, you didn't retaliate! But throw the grudge in the garbage, because it is not furry nice nor fun to be this way! Your mom loves you SO MUCH!
Enough already, do you hear?!
Meowmy will say her stuff now...
I do not really know what to tell you about this. But all the above suggestions seem good. I like the part about lying on the floor and ignoring him so he can come and explore you and reacquaint himself with you.
Maybe you need to put strong catnip on your person to attract him.
Have you tried one of those pherome diffusers? Try lying on the floor with one of those nearby.
We will all purr that soon this will be just a memory.
Pipo, Minko & Meowmy Ingrid
Monster I do have a clicker but I've never used it yet so wouldn't that scare him even more? I'm not sure how to clicker train a cat that's already having behavioral issues.
Tabbies, part of me says you are right. Because he's still doing things like scratching the curtains, which he knows drives me nuts and makes me come after him, it's like he wants attention and then tells me to get lost when I try and give it to him. I know I need to de-stress. I wish to god I could and you all don't know to what extent things have been going on here that's making me nuts. My house has never been a calm place and if I could leave here and have a nice calm, quiet place to live I would do it in a heartbeat. I am a bundle of nerves and am trying to hold it together but this family of mine has a way of beating me into the ground and seeing how much they can stomp on my head.
That was the absolute best about Alex. She was my healing kitty. She was like a magic little pillow for me when I had bad days. I swear she calmed me in seconds and I never felt alone. These two are not like that. Lacey is better than Finney, she lets me be but will come on the bed and purr and cuddle when she feels I've calmed down. Finnegan can do that when he feels like it. But he doesn't know when to stop pushing my buttons at the wrong time. I can only do so much to be the way everyone here wants me to be. Everybody in this house wants something from me, it's exhausting, draining.
I'll have to get the Feliway, I never even thought of that which is stupid really since I mention it to others, MOL. Do as I say not as I do!!! I did in fact rub catnip all over my hands and arms last night and he licked the catnip off the floor but not near me. Maybe he is upset about Midnight but she was in BAD shape and my useless sister would just let her die if I didn't take care of her. I'm not kidding! It's ALWAYS ME here that takes care of EVERYTHING. Most of the time I just do it and say nothing. But when it comes to Midnight and also Moufasa when he was alive, I won't stand by and watch them be neglected and sick. I will do everything in my power to help them and I have. I spend my own money, of which I don't even have any, on her fluids, medications, etc.
She's a horrible kitty AND human mother and she knows it. But doesn't care. Trouble is, that I care. At least about the kitties.
Here is a huge healing hug for you Mom of Finney:
Sounds like you sure need a big bunch of them, but we will have to settle for these cyber-hugs...
And lots of purrs, too!
I will gladly take those hugs, cyber or not. I'll take them and the purrs and let their healing powers wash over me. Thank you sweethearts.
We hope they last until meowmy comes home from work, then she can refill them, MOL!
Some more double and triple cyber (((((HUGS)))). From a kitty who really pushed da buttons for weeks not knowing any better - Finny, friend o mine, enough already. Lisa, head bonk comin' at ya!
Oh we hate to hear that Finney is still being a pooyhead....you know Mom deals with cats all the time with her business and she knows that cats are so picky and have catitudes....one minute they are fine with you and the next they act like you are going to hurt them or you are a stranger...
Mom usually just sits on the floor, talks to them in a low voice, of course she has treats and eventually if they want to come they come...bottom like is patience is all Mom can say...they have to come to you on their terms...we pray your Finney will stop being a poopie Head and love his Mommy again...
Thanks for the headbonks and hugs everybody. I've been ignoring him all day, I am beyond exhausted today and had to nap so I don't have the patience for his catitude. He wants to be left alone, for today he can be. I'm too tired. I'll have to try the lying on the floor thing and also the clicker hopefully tomorrow.
I'm going to tell him that all of his Catster friends are calling him a big old poopyhead and a doodyhead and other stuff. MOL. Maybe that will make him see he's being unreasonable.
Oh Finney and Mommy Lisa! It's not gonna be like this furevfur. I was so upset with Mom when Harrison was a poopiehead and I didn't wanna be held or anytthing! We learned from this book and from the poopie litter hands dooood that fur a scaredy cat, just click and give a treat at that exact time-don't even worry about trying ta do the "training" first, like with touching noses to something and then clicking. Just click and treat at tha same time and Finney will get the hang of it. Mommy lays on tha floor too sometimes when I is upsets and it is a good thing 'cause it's like, she is on my level or something and I feels equal ta her. He can probably sense yr frustrashions too-so try ta be kewl Mommy Lisa! He'll come around! I didn't want nothin ta do with Mommy aftur tha Harrison stuffs, and so she didnt try ta touch me, but she kept talking to me and stuffs and finally I started meowin back at her and then coming fur bonks and loves. it's like you tell my mommy-patience!
yeah-what Kitty said-'cause I overheard Mom thinkin the other day, after I did not squeeeeze past her legs, nor did I jumps onto Kitty and makes her peeee on herselfs, and her thoughts said that she's had enuffs and that I gots ta go. But then look what happened! Kitty had a breakthrough, so things will get better!
Reboot! Start over as if you have just met him. Sit, lie on the floor, read out loud but don't look at Finney, don't talk directly to him, don't touch him. If you can have something tasty about 2-3 feet away from you (that the other cats won't come and steal) do that.
If he approaches for the treat, don't make eye contact, don't address him, don't attempt to pet him, just keep reading.
The *trick* (if it can be called such a thing) is to make non-threatening and good associations with you again.
I was a very shy and skittish girl upon arriving home. It took a lot of patience to build up my trust and get me to come out of my shy-shell. Finney already knows you and loves you, he's just temporarily freaked from the accidental eye-pokey. The Finney you know and love, he'll be back!
Remember too how intuitive we cats are to our human's emotions. If you're stressed or frustrated, Finney knows it and is picking up on it.
I know, I'm just so darned tired right now I'm like you were when you couldn't take anymore and just lost it. I spent a whole week worrying about Midnight thinking she wasn't going to make it through this episode, running up and down the stairs all day and night checking on her, and a whole slew of other things. So it's aggravating and upsetting to me that now I have to do this with him when he's been here for 3 years and never acted this bad! I can't go near him, I can't touch him and kiss his toes, I can't snoozle him, I miss him.
I guess I'm going to have no choice Taag. It feels awfully weird to me to have to win his trust back when I didn't do anything to him. When I brought him home he was all over me and never acted shy one bit! He was a tiny baby full of poop and vinegar and wasn't scared of anyone. He's gotten the opposite as he's gotten older. he used to be curious when someone came over and he was more social, now he runs into his tower cave. sigh. Lacey does this too, she takes off and hides behind the couch but only for other people, not me.
Finney - I'm just like you! I've gotten more scared as I get older! I used to greet everyone who came to the door, now I run if I so much as hear footsteps outside. I wonder why we're like that ...
It's strange isn't it Nida? You know what's funny? I keep staring at my mom like "why aren't you looking at me? WHY?" Then if she even glances my way, I get all creeped out. She says she's feels silly having to give me the cold shoulder and not look at me. I did catch her looking at me a little while ago while I was sleeping all cute. I could hear her in her head thinking, "I wish I could go and kiss your toes, I miss that".
Ok, we are back for a moment to refill those cyber hugs!
Keep your chin up, Lisa. Finney take off your poopy head and put on the regular one now, Howloween was over a long time ago, MOL!
Finney, smartin up my boy.....you have it so good now stop being a "poopyhead".....give your mom a hug and kiss....accidents happen.....
Hugs & kisses to you Finney and Mom
I wrote an update diary guys. He's only slightly better but a little bit anyways.