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I can't believe this, not again! Not another one! Another- death!

June 17th 2011 8:23 am
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Guys, I cannot believe this is happening and I'm just beyond devastated right now. My uncle died. Well, he's my dad's cousin but we're related and he and his family and kids have lived 2 houses up from us my whole life. I was best friends with 2 of his daughters all my childhood. He lived in the house my grandmother grew up in, the first house ever built in this part of town. I cannot get over this.

I went downstairs to give Midnight her pill and my dad said "Lisa, brace yourself". I'm like "WHAT NOW"? And then he said, "Donald died last night". Oh my god! I don't know what's happening here. I'm freaking out, things happen in 3's and I told my parents they better not leave me!

My aunt and her kids are all outside on the porch crying. I can't have any party for Finney tomorrow, I'm sorry I just can't. I'm stunned beyond capacity right now and now I have TWO funerals to go to. My uncle Donald was one of my favorite people. He ALWAYS stopped over here to yack with my dad, he teased me relentless and I always gave it back to him. It was our thing! He was a good man, a hard working family man who loved his family more than anything. He was FUN and he was always my buddy. Every night when I'm out watering my flowers, he'd be outside rocking on his porch swing with his wife and waving to me. Asking me to come and water his plants, LOL.

He'd had a heart attack about 10 years ago but was FINE. He just went in for knee surgery and he passed away in the middle of the night. Maybe a blood clot. I am honest to god scared now that something else will happen. I can't believe this. I loved him, he was a wonderful man!

What a nightmare this whole week is. God please, enough now. Don't take anymore okay? Please? Rick is even going to be upset. He's lived here across the street for 10 years and knows them too. Ugh. I have to go and tell one of my neighbors. They'll be devastated.

Thanks for being here for us, I'm sorry about the party and I don't know what to say right now. I'm in shock.

Love you all

Purred by: TIA SYDIBIL (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 8:52 am

Lisa - Take a deep breath. NOW, don't worry about the party! Everyone will understand.

Please take care of yourself. If you need to vent, you have my email address. I've been where you are and I have a good shoulder to cry on. Let the cats comfort you.
Purred by: Calie Dreamette #17 (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 9:22 am

Oh No I am so sorry,my heart is breaking for you, I have just had you on my mind all morning so I got on here to see how things are going. I know there are no words to comfort but know that we are all here for you. big hug
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 9:38 am

Thanks you guys. This stinks so much. He had a heart attack at 7 pm last night. Tia thank you and I will email if I need to talk which may very well happen.

Calie, just being here for us is the best comfort sweetie. It helps me more than you know.
Purred by: Tink the Cat (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 10:10 am

What a terrible shock! We feel deeply for your losses - you are in our thoughts and purrayers BIG TIME. Don't worry about us, let us worry about you right now! Any comfort you need is right here in your furriends. We all wish for the easing of your pain. And you also have two amazing fur-loves right there with you. Cats are the best source of comfort at times like this. Hope things will seem a little more manageable as the days go on!! You are loved. Luv, Barbara & Tink
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 10:11 am

Thank you Tink, they both don't know what to make of me right now but they're giving me lots of kisses which is SOOOO sweet.
Purred by: Skylar db#39A (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 11:06 am

We are so sorry for your losses. May all those warm memories bring you much comfort. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Your friends here will always be here for you, you can count on that. Warm and comforting kitty hugs, Skylar and family
Purred by: Purincess Miranda (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 11:13 am

Such a shock is so unbelievably painful! Our hearts and prayers are with you. Right now it is hard to imagine that the pain and grief will ever get better. From what you say, your uncle was truly a loving, wonderful person who both loved and was love very very much. We are there for you.
Purred by: Laura W

June 17th 2011 at 12:28 pm

Lisa..I am truly sorry to hear about your uncle, please remember what I said about rick's dad as the same holds true....Im not at work at the moment and you know how we correspond when not....your uncle sounds like an AWESOME guy....think of all the memories you will hold on to now...May God grant you, your family and your uncle's, peace in their hearts and comfort them with the knowledge that your loved ones live now in HIS house and ultimatley there's no better place to be....hugs and love from all of us
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 1:21 pm

Thank you all. When it rains, it pours. I was very sad with Rick's dad passing but this is much more painful for me and for my dad. The whole neighborhood right now is grieving. Everyone was outside earlier and crying. My dad said it perfect, this place will never be the same. My poor neighbor John who lives across the street from my uncle. He didn't know and when I told him he broke down right then and there and hugged me. This place really won't be the same at all. He was the fun around here. The one that we all went to sit on her porch and laugh and tease each other. Sigh.
Purred by: Blizzard AKA The Catfather (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 2:00 pm

If you need anything, or a fur to talk to, daddy says we're here for you! Please know that we're praying for you, and may God grant you comfort and peace. We are so sorry to hear this.
Purrs from the Taneytown Crew:
Blizzard, Squeaker, Gypsy, Tigger, Kringle, Panda, Angels Socks and Patches, And daddy John
Purred by: Rose - beautiful angel (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 2:16 pm

We're so sorry for your loss. If there is anything we can do, we're here for you. You are in our thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
Purred by: Monida (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 2:21 pm

I'm so very sorry. :( Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 2:25 pm

Thanks everyone, this summer won't be the same without his big mouth teasing everyone on the street, MOL. I really hope that's it now. I can't take another one at this point.
Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 2:41 pm

Oh my gosh, Lisa, we are so so sorry!! Sending you all the love, support and hugs we can! We're all here for you. Take whatever time you need. You and your family are in our thoughts purrrayers.

Much love....
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 3:41 pm

Death is nothing else but going home to God,
the bond of love will be unbroken for all eternity.

~ Mother Teresa ~

I think it was the Tabbies that told you yesterday that the Irish way to take care of grief is to cry, to scream, if your a grave diver, dive girl! Then get you some good food and sit around and laugh about the good times with your family. Laugh about family moments in general. You sound like you have a tight family so you guys can do this. Tears and Laughter is the ultimate healers.

One of the best memories I have of Dad's family all together, was after my grandfather died. We were all ragged from sleeping on the floor at the hospital for days and stressed from all the grief. I can't remember who mentioned it but somebody said "I need a drink". I think it was my Mom, before you knew it you heard "me too". We wound up at Applebees eating, drinking and laughing. It was so refreshing. And just a great sending off for grandpa.

You know I'm here for you, so email me if you need me okay.

Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 4:02 pm

Thanks you guys. I'm in shock. I just went over to see my aunt and she's really running around too much and exhausting herself. She knows it too. She told me on the porch this isn't real to her, it's just not real. When she crashes boy. All our neighbors were over there and we were all crying together. That's how fun he was. He was my dad's buddy! His house is where my grandmother grew up. 2 houses up. He got that house from them and my dad got this house from his father. They've never lived apart all these years and they've always been close. My dad has almost no one left in his family. All his siblings are gone, most of his cousins now are gone. Only ones left other than us is my other 2 cousins. It was bad enough when my brother in law died 7 years ago. I never saw my dad cry like that in all my years. Not even at his own family's funerals.

I could still feel Donald on that porch out there, rocking on that glider, laughing and grinning ear to ear. Talking over everyone with his big mouth. LOL. This really sucks guys. It really does.

Just so you all know, I am someone who believes that energy is forever and it does not die. I do know that. BUT, it's no longer here with us and we cannot touch, see or hear them anymore and that's the hard part. I don't grieve for the dead! I grieve for US.
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 4:12 pm

Guys this was my uncle Donald.
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 4:28 pm

No you can't touch or see or hear him but you will remember him. I can see my grandfather in my mind like he was standing right in front of me and he died about 17 years ago. He was such a strong man.

Grieving for your family members sadness is who you are. But grieving over the future memories lost won't help though. that's like living in "What If Land" and what if's will hold you back from living.

Love ya girl!
Purred by: Blizzard AKA The Catfather (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 5:01 pm

Lisa, I really don't know what to say. two back to back is quite a lot to handle. I can't speak from experience, I came from a small family, spread out all over. ( Mom;s parents were from Wheeling WVA, Dad's from Cleveland, ohio and Boulder, Colorado) We were never that close to alot of people here in the Baltimore area. I do remember how we cried when my granddad died in 77. Everyone was drained. HOWEVER< we all somehow managed to get through it, and what there was of us actually became closer because of it. I can only offer you my unending support, a shoulder if needed, and for you to know that we are here!! P or E mail if you need anything, we will do all we can to help you through this tough time
Your friend, Blizz's daddy, John
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 5:28 pm

Don't worry guys, I've gotten through many, many, MANY losses before this and I'll get through these. You have to understand this all JUST happened and it's fresh. So please understand that I need to grieve. I just need to talk about it. It is normal for me so early in this ordeal to miss them very much. I'm not living in the land of what if, I'm just plain old missing them both and right now concerned for my dad who is very devastated over losing Don. It's not a good feeling for him to be 84 and just about all of his friends and family are dead. It's very depressing for him. Poor man feels left behind.

And I've got to figure out how to juggle 2 wakes on the same day and 2 funerals on the same day.

We are really not as close a family as you'd think. We just have certain people in our family that are more special and more loving than others. And losing them both at the same time stinks.
Purred by: Angel ♥Kally Kat♥ (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 5:50 pm

Lisa & family,

Our thoughts & prayers are with you at this delicate time of need today & all the tomorrows!

Love ♥ is 4 -eva!

God bless you dear friend.

Gentle purrs & ~huggs~
Kally Kat & Mom Liz ღ ღ

Prayers for your family
Purred by: Ashley, Dreamgirl # 27 (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 6:29 pm

Thinking of you during this very difficult time. I have lost precious uncles and I know how it feels.

((hugs)) from

Ashley, Tony, & Angel Callie's mom,
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 6:37 pm

Thanks everyone. Just can't believe this happened both in one week! Their funerals are on the same day. Won't that be fun.
Purred by: Cody (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 7:31 pm

mom and I are so sorry for your loss please take care.
Purred by: Kristina R

June 17th 2011 at 8:49 pm

Sending purrrs & prayers your way & to his family!! My Pawpas Grandfather passed a away a few days ago & it's been really rough on him.

Purred by: ♥ Jezebel RIP ♥ (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 11:42 pm

Don't worry about the pawty. I'm sorry to hear such sad news - sending purrs.
Purred by: Simba: In Loving Memory.... (Catster Member)

June 17th 2011 at 11:50 pm

Awww, Lisa, I am so sorry. When I was going through April, with one horrible thing after another happening without let up, I thought it would never end and I would never get through it. You were there for me, and so were all the wonderful friends we have in common here on Catster. You guys were what got me through it and out on the other side.

We are here for you too. Lean on us and know how much you are loved here. I know it seems like the nightmare will never end, but it does. Sooner or later.

You have my email, too, if you need me.

You are loved,
Lynne & the babies
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 18th 2011 at 9:42 am

Thank you so much everyone. We love you all so much. Pumpkin I'm sorry for the loss in your family as well. Many of you have recently lost a human loved one and we share your grief and we're sending you all big hugs and headbonks as well.
Purred by: MILO BLUE EYES DB#73 (Catster Member)

June 18th 2011 at 11:28 am

FINN 'n mommy Lisa, Again we have falling tear 'n sadness, as you said, not for our departed, but for the living relatives who care so much for each other!! We know how much you miss them, how much they mean to you, how important they were in your life. We're so sorry this all happened to you in such a short time and doubled up on you. We stretch out our paws 'n arms to you, hugs tight, 'n long lasting friendship is here. It's true, it's good for you to talk it out. Memories are sweet. May peace and love and strength help you through these tough times. Our prayers are with you.

Love, hugs and kindest thoughts,

MILO, Smokey Joe, 'n furmily & Mommy Kathy
Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

June 18th 2011 at 11:32 am

Well said Milo. Well said.
Purred by: (My Angel) Colette (Catster Member)

June 18th 2011 at 7:57 pm

Oh my stars! I told Mom we really should check in more often. We race here late for your pawwty and look what we find!!!

Oh Lisa, our heart goes out to you! Please let us know if there's something we can do. You're absolutely right, losing a loved one stinks. But two at the same time! It's always so hard on the ones who are left behind to grieve.

Sending our love and hugs and whisker kisses..
Colette, Samsara, (Angel) Marrakech, (Angel) Misha & Mom, Carol
Purred by: Kristina R

June 18th 2011 at 11:02 pm

Thanks Finney!!
Purred by: Shade (Catster Member)

June 22nd 2011 at 4:01 am

Lisa, I'm so sorry for your losses; it's so sad. I'm also sorry that I somehow missed Finney's diary and I hope that you are doing ok!

We hope that you are doing ok and the boys are sending you many purrs.

Shade, Smudge, Chaucer, and mom
Purred by: Bibi (Catster Member)

June 22nd 2011 at 1:35 pm

No worries-we will celebrate when you are ready.
until then big hugs, big purrs to all-
Bibi and Meep
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

June 22nd 2011 at 4:33 pm

Hi Shade and family and Bibi & Meep. Thank you so much for your love and support. It truly is a gift and means the world to us right now. Mom's hanging in. Just having a tough time believing all of this happened. It's gonna take a long time to sink in.


Finnegan (Finney)


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