January 3rd 2006 5:53 pm
Dear A. & H.,
There is only one Elvin, and that is ME.
You insisted on calling that outside cat (that you only saw twice) Elvin II just because he slightly resembled me. I tolerated that.
I draw the line at you naming that stupid squirrel in the backyard “Elvin III”! It doesn’t resemble me in any way. Have your eyes become so bad that you’re unable to tell the difference between a squirrel and a cat?
Even worse, you can’t keep track of your Elvin III (or “Little Elvin”, as you now call him). You’re constantly pointing at squirrels that aren’t Elvin III and referring to them as “Young Elvin.”
Last week, H. spotted a squirrel resting on the fence post and worked herself into a tizzy, shouting at A. that “Little Elvin is dead”. Of course it wasn’t dead. And it wasn’t Little Elvin either.
Sigh.
The one and only
Elvin
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