whap! Whap! WHAP! What's a cat to do?

I was having a nice relaxing sleep on DixieDog's blanket on Mum's bed. Dixie was also on the bed, but I had the soft blankie, so that's ok. Then Mum came in and DixieDog acted like a dog... wagging her tail and getting all excited and everything... and Mum didn't even have a treat with her. DixieDog was all worked up about Mum! Silly dogs...

So, she starts wagging her big gianormous tail... and it's whap! Whap! WHAP! right in my face!! I tell ya, what's a cat to do? So, I start grabbing at this cat-beater with all 12 claws and Mum says "Ozzy, No!". So I stop, but the whap! Whap! WHAP! keeps going so I grab the tail again and this time I BITE it! Not hard, but if the DixieDog is going to bat me in the face with her tail like it's a CAT TOY, I'm gonna take advantage! It's only right... a least by my reckoning...