Aaawwwww yeeaaahhhh!

Gosh I'm almost surprised anybody even recognizes me, it's been so long since I've been here. Catster! My friends, I've missed you. Thank you so much for all of my birthday gifts and messages in March. I'm so sorry I haven't responded to or thanked anybody in months. My mom has been busy with work and Catster just fell by the wayside.
But here I am! Cat of the Week! Wow! I am four years old now, a MAN. I have a new sophisticated way of acting. Mostly. I mean- Sometimes. I try, anyway. :)
Thanks so much for the love! This week is going to be awesome.

Frosty Moon, Beaver Moon

Last night and the night before was the full moon. It's called the Beaver Moon, or Frosty Moon. Mom said that those kind of sound like stripper names. Full moons usually bring out some extra zoom zoomies, but I felt pretty relaxed last night actually. Maybe it's cuz the moon's so tiny right now. it is supposed to be the smallest full moon of this year, and if you look at it, it really does look smaller than usual! Very cute little moon glowing up in the sky.

Ahhh, winter. I'm loving my good old spot up on my high shelf under the heating vent. Toasty.

Unfortunately, winter brings on a nasty habit of my mom's. Eating ORANGES. Yucky big navel oranges. For some reason she always craves them in winter. She's sitting at the table peeling one now. I took one whiff and jumped down, then took off running. I'm crouching across the room, staring at her with my Most disapproving SQUINT, and I'm wrinkling my nose in disdain. Yeah, that's right, you-- you ORANGE EATER. My own mother, peeling an orange ball of yuck. She better wash her hands before she tries to pet me.

The Caped Invader

There's a suspicious character hanging around my yard lately. This cat is white with a solid grey mask and cape. This caped invader keeps coming up to my mom and squeaking at her. Yeah that's right, SQUEAKING. For some reason my mom thinks this weird squeaking sound it makes is very charming, and she always runs inside to grab some food to put out. Meanwhile, I'm staring out the window at my mom giving away food that should be going to ME. I don't really get it. The caped invader is definitely not a stray, because he or she is kind of chubby and has sparkling clean fur. And yet somehow my mom is so charmed by that squeaking that she can't resist. I actually have not been hissing at the caped invader. YET. I kind of admire his/her style. Much better than that punk Greystripe cat that comes by.

ALVINNNNN!!!!!

Yes my friends! I have done it again! I am TOKI!! Chipmunk-bane!!!

There he was, gorging himself under the birdfeeder when I spied him from my spot by the drain pipe. Silently, I crouched lower with the grace passed down by my ancestors. The foolish chipmunk continued to stuff his face full of seeds, oblivious to his peril. Suddenly I struck, descending upon him like a biblical plague... (SHUT UP MOM, stop muttering and rolling your eyes! This is MY story!) uh- where was I? Oh yes: DESCENDING upon him like a biblical plague! The chipmunk squirmed and fought, scrabbling with his paws, but to no avail. I had him in my jaws. Standing up tall, I puffed out my chest and walked proudly to the door so I could bring my prey inside. I waited. My mom stared down at me with dismay. She cursed. I clenched the chipmunk in my jaws and waited. And waited. Mom started begging me, pleading for the chipmunk's life. She pointed out the seeds visible in the poor chipmunk's mouth. I ignored her and waited. (Seriously MOM, what's your DEAL? Why couldn't I just bring him inside? He was stupid enough to get caught!) I waited and waited. I looked at my mom with wide eyes, but she refused to open the door. 25 minutes! My heartless mom let me stand there with a chipmunk in my mouth for 25 minutes and wouldn't open the door! Finally I put the darn chipmunk down to adjust my grip, but my mom dragged me away and the chipmunk took off. Speedy little sucker. Okay, so maybe I can't call myself Chipmunk-BANE. But I could have been!

Hey, btw guys, thank you everybody for the pirate flags!! I hope everybody is doing ruthless pirate-y things! Take no prisoners but take plenty of chipmunks!

Stinky Slithering Snake

So I was outside in the yard, walking on the leash, when my mom said, "look Toki! A snake!"
It was a garter snake, about 18-20 inches long. I've seen dead snakes before, and I paid no attention to them, so mom didn't expect me to get so into this one. But as soon as this snake started slithering, I went to work. Pawing and biting, I grabbed that snake up in my mouth and started strutting around. Mom started saying, "Toki, don't kill it" but I was too involved in my battle with the snake to pay attention. Mom tried lifting me up, but the snake was still slithering around in my mouth, so she put me back down. Finally I let it go (just so I could play some more) and mom dragged me away. I was meowing and meowing, "I wasn't finished! Let me at 'im!" The snake had some blood on him and he was laying still in the sunshine. I was still struggling and meowing, so mom had to carry me inside.
Suddenly, mom noticed the smell. "Eew! Toki! You stink!" she said. Apparently, garter snakes let out some kind of gross stinky secretion when they are being attacked, and I had it all over me. I started grooming, but mom couldn't stand it.
I had to have a bath. I got a shampoo and mom was extra thorough rinsing me off. I don't mind baths, but I think my mom went kind of overboard with her effort this time. That stink was pretty gross though. Ick! At least I know I vanquished that dragon, I mean SNAKE.

I'm possessed

I think I'm possessed by a dog or maybe a beaver. I have this strange compulsion to pick up branches whenever we go out for walks. Long ones, short ones. I like to chase them when mom throws them or drags them along the ground. I pick them up in my mouth and carry them all the way home. Then I want to bring them inside. Mom won't let me.

butterflies are free... for a snack

I have developed what my mom calls a "terrible habit". I am a butterfly eater. Walking outside, we see lots of insects. I love insects. I love their crunchy outsides and smushy insides. I love their bite-sized goodness. I love to catch their buzzing little bodies in my paws and munch them up. For some reason, my mom does not feel the same way. After I chew up a crunchy little insect, I look at my mom with a happy, satisfied expression, and I expect to see an expression of pride and motherly indulgence on her face. Instead, what I see is: revulsion. Disgust. Horror. And sometimes even nausea. I love juicy fat flies. and squiggly spiders. and cccrrrrunchy cccrrrrickets.
Recently I have discovered a new taste sensation. Butterflies. the little white ones. So far I have caught 3 and gobbled them up before mom could stop me.
And why would she want to stop me, that's what I'd like to know? Doesn't the hunter have a right to his kill? Isn't that a law of the jungle or something? And butterflies are lovely, aren't they? They fill me with hope! I can feel it in my stomach.

scream queen

Today mom and I went to the park. It was beautiful and sunny and the park was full of people. There was a couple and a beagle with a baby carriage. Hmmm- did I say that correctly? A couple with a beagle and a baby carriage. The beagle was not in the baby carriage. (Too bad, that would have been funny.) Anyway, the beagle and I both strained at our leashes to get to one another. Mom doubted that this meant true love, so she picked me up. I have a tendency to go right up to dogs and puff my tail up. The man in the couple dragged the beagle away, saying to it, "You won't have a nose anymore if you do that." He must have seen the fires of mischief in my eyes. It's funny, because mom read that many Abyssinians get along well with dogs. Not me. So far I have been pretty confrontational with any dog that I have met one-on-one, but I am calm if there are lots of dogs. I know when I'm outnumbered.
Well, we continued our walk. I spotted a squirrel and took off after it. Mom dropped the extendable leash handle thingy by accident, and it hit the ground, bouncing after me as I chased the squirrel. Mom screamed "Toki!" but I didn't run into the street or anything. I just ran to the base of the tree that the squirrel ran up. I gave mom a funny look, like "what are you screaming for?" She picked up the leash and we continued on.
I found a nice spot in the grass, under a cherry blossom tree, and lay down. Mom sat too. She loves cherry blossom trees. We chilled for a while.
Then we got up and walked around some more. Suddenly I spotted another squirrel and gave chase. Mom accidentally dropped the handle thing AGAIN and screamed, "Toki!" as I ran after the squirrel. Bounce bounce bounce went the leash handle. The squirrel ran up a another tree and I looked back at mom as she screamed. Man that's an irritating habit she's developing.
Mom decided that she was being a putz today with the leash and we walked home. She picked me up as we were walking towards our door. I was in her arms, very calm and cool, as she reached for the door. She sees a big brown spider on the door frame and SCREAMED right above my head. LOUD. Needless to say, I practically jumped out of my skin. She held on to me though, opened up the door, and hustled inside, leaning way over to the side and avoiding the spider. She slammed the door and I jumped out of her arms.

kitty crack

Hi hi! Hope you all had a hoppy Easter- hardy har. Thank you to everyone for my awesome Easter eggs! My page is full of color and cheer. I'm sorry I'm not thanking you separately; you can blame my mom for that. We didn't really get to celebrate because mom was busy working on stuff. No ham, no turkey, no love for Toki. Just kidding, I got plenty of love. I got some Halo liv-a-littles freeze dried chicken treats- aka kitty crack. It's funny, mom gives me regular baked chicken all the time, and it is my favorite treat, but there is something in those freeze-dried chicken treats that makes me into a WILD-EYED MANIAC. I frantically chomp like a piranha when mom has it out, getting bits all over my face. I lick the dust off the floor and go crawling around. Mom said I look like a chicken junkie. I even try my hardest to open the treat drawer where the jar is kept, hooking my claws on the edge and pulling with all my might. I WANT IT! I WANT IT! What do you suppose they put in that stuff? In the ingredients, it says "marinade". So they soak it in some kind of deliciousness that makes it all.. MMMMMM CHICKEN raahhhgglglllgllglhhhhhh.....(open mouth drooling like Homer Simpson)

slide slide slippity slide

Hellooooo. What's happening, everybody? Whatcha been up to? So, you want to know what my newest thing is? The slide! When mom takes me to the park, there is a little playground/jungle gym thingy, with plastic slides. Before, I used to always jump up and stand at the top and look out. I would stick my head out and stare down, but mom always held me back. One day, I jumped up onto the levels, and suddenly ran down the slide before she could stop me. Now, every time we go to the park, I like to run down the slide. It makes mom laugh every time, especially when she sees other people's surprise. Here is a video of me:

Toki loves the slide

After I go down, mom has to go down the slide too. Luckily she is only 5'2" and won't break it. I hope. That would be embarrassing! :P