January 25th 2010 6:54 pm
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This afternoon mama brought out a monster. It didn't look that scary when it was quiet in our office, but then she brought it to the dining room. She took a string and hooked it to the wall. Then she pushed a button, and the monster started to growl real loud. Then mama took papers and started feeding the growling monster. He eats PAPER! Oh, my gosh; he is a very scary monster. He eats big papers and little papers and even old checks. Every so often, mama would stop feeding the monster. He would be quiet while she took the shredded paper out of his tummy, but then she would start feeding him again, and he would growl real loud and eat more paper.
That was bad enough, but then when the monster had eaten all our paper, mama got out the big sucking machine. I do not like the sucking machine. He is big and scary, and I am pretty sure he will suck up kittens if he gets the chance. Mama said I was very brave today because I didn't run away and hide. I sat on a dining room chair and watched the big noisy sucking machine. I was ready for a quick escape if he got too close. Finally everything was quiet. The sucking machine and the monster were both locked away, so now I feel safe again.
January 23rd 2010 4:32 pm
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That's what mama keeps asking me: "Gunnarr, why are you SO naughty?" I don't know. I simply do not know. I don't set out to be naughty; it just happens. I guess I have a rare talent for doing things that mama considers "naughty."
This morning we started working at 6:30. By 7:08 I was headed for time-out. I had been leaping on everything, swatting at artwork on the wall, chewing on saddles, and the prize naughtiness, trying to shinny underneath mama's flat screen computer monitor to check out the router sitting behind it (where mama thought it would be safer from me - HA!!). I spent an hour or two in my room, napping and playing with toys. Then mama felt sorry for me being all alone. I secretly think she was missing my wonderful company. She came and got all my things and took me back into the office with her. It was only about five minutes before I started acting up again. This time she thought she could outsmart me. She remembered something she had before for kitties who like to leap up where she thinks they don't belong. It is a battery operated squealer called a Tattle Tail. Mama put the Tattle Tail on an office chair because that's where I start most of my naughtiest adventures. From the chair I can go to the saddles, artwork, or computer. Maybe a whole minute passed before I jumped on the chair. The Tattle Tail screamed at the top of his lungs. Mama turned around to see me sniffing and pawing at the Tattle Tail. It screamed again, and I batted at it. What a fun new toy!
Mama thought, OH NO! Maybe Gunnarr is deaf! She ran to pick me up and cuddle me. Then she did a spearmint. She waited until I was interested in something else and not looking at her. She said my name very softly. My ear twitched, and I turned around and looked right away. She was relieved that I am not deaf, but she figured I would be if the Tattle Tail kept screaming in my ear, so she turned it off and put it away.
After work mama was real bizzy working on our computer. She heard a crashing sound and went to investigate. I had dumped an expensive pottery vase with all the dried and silk flower things in it. Mama said she didn't know how it missed a big piece of Roseville when it fell, but nothing was broken. You guessed it; I went to my room for awhile. After mama let me out, I disappeared for awhile. Later I came into the office with something in my mouth. When mama looked to see what it was I had carried in, it was a willow rose from the arrangement I dumped over. Here, mama; I brought you a flower. Game over. I win...
January 22nd 2010 3:47 pm
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Mama thought I was going through the terrible two's awhile ago. Nope; I was just getting ready to be the kitten from hell. I am still sweet and lovable, but in between snuggles I'm very bizzy doing mostly naughty things. I have become infatuated with the bay window and the antique leaded glass hanging window. I race into the dining room and leap into the window. During my landing, I give the hanging window a good shove so it swings back and forth wildly. Mama screams "Gunnarr, NO!!!," but it doesn't really faze me. I sit in the window and look up at some peacock feather decorations and waaaaiiilllll. Mama, I want those! Waaaaaaillllll! I WANT those! Then I stand up on my hind legs and paw at the hanging leaded glass window. When I put my weight against it, it moves, and I think that's fun. When I get bored with that I stand up in the window and cry and paw at things that mama says aren't there. Today they were there; snowflakes, and I was gonna get every one. I could have caught them all except they wouldn't come in where I could touch them. I had to settle for playing games with mama while she was cleaning house. She felt sorry for me because I was so unhappy about the snowflakes, so we played with my kitty teasers, foam balls, and some mousies. After all the running, pawing, and wailing today, I'm worn out. I'd better take a nap so I can be refreshed and wild at bedtime. Mama has to work tomorrow, so my job is to keep her awake late with my kitty hijinks.
January 20th 2010 4:29 pm
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Mama said I was a much better boy today; I didn't get a single time-out. I did learn a new trick, though, and it is a REALLY good one. Mama has the answering machine on while she is working so she doesn't have to stop when the phone rings. Today the phone rang and rang. Mama wondered why the machine did not pick up. When she checked, the machine was "askew" AND turned off! To tell the truth, I am not sure how I did it, but do not tell mama. She thinks I am REALLY smart! The world is my oyster and every day a new adventure.
January 19th 2010 5:24 pm
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Today mama got up earlier than usual. She said she had a "meeting," whatever that is. She worked for awhile and then took all my things to my room. I thought "hmmmm, wonder what this is all about." I didn't get to wonder for very long. Mama scooped me up, deposited me in my room, and shut the door before I could run out. Waaaaaaiiiiiiilllll! Mama, don't leave me. I only wailed until I heard the door shut, and it was quiet. No sense wearing out my wailer; I might need it later. After a couple of hours, I heard mama come home, so I tuned up again. She let me out, got all my things out, and we went back to the office. Mama said it was precisely 15 minutes before I was sent to my room again. This time I was being too naughty and distracting. Mama only had one more hour to work, and she wanted to be productive, whatever that means. When mama was finished working, she opened the door, and I streaked out. Now for some fun. I will run and run and run up and down the hall. I only ran a time or two before mama scooped me again. Jeepers, I think I should get smart enough to run away. Back into my room I went. I waaaaaaiiiiiiillllled some more until it was quiet. Mama come back! Silence. I decided to take a nap so I could be really wild when mama came home. I did a most excellent job of being naughty when mama came home again. I chased a fly. I played in the curtains. I ran full speed into the dining room and leaped into the bay window. I stood on my hind legs and put my front paws on the hanging leaded glass and stretched and leaned against it until it swung back and forth. I leaped on the furniture. I made things tipple. Nothing fell over and broke; I just made sure the things danced around a bit to scare mama. I was being so wild that finally mama got up from her supper and started throwing my little foam balls up and down the hall. I love to chase them; mama says she wishes I would learn to fetch, but it is good exercise for her, and she needs exercise WAY more than me. Sorry, mama, but it is true. I chased the balls back and forth until I finally flopped in a heap on the living room carpet. My work was done for awhile at least. Tomorrow is another day and another adventure...
January 18th 2010 3:07 pm
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I hope everykitty out there had a good weekend. I had a great weekend. My daddy was here, and we played and played and played! Daddy plays the very best kitty games. When I was not leaping and chasing things, I napped on daddy's lap while he was sitting at the table.
Mama and daddy were working on giving our bathroom a face lift, and I helped! I chased the screws, dumped things over, knocked things down, got under mama and daddy's feet, tried to run off with stuff, climbed into boxes, hid my toys under parts mama and daddy needed, and then yowled when mama told me to go play. I WAS playing, and it was REALLY fun.
For revenge, I bit daddy's wrist on Sunday morning. I'm not sure why I did it. I love my daddy, but it just seemed like a good idea at the time. Daddy told me no, but he didn't realize blood was coming out of his arm until later. It was not much blood, only a coupla drops. Maybe I was just teething... ;)
On Sunday I got to go for a ride in mama's car. I was practicing wearing my red kitten harness, and mama said to daddy, "I think we should put Gunnarr in his carrier and go for a ride." We got in the car, and away we went. I cried a little bit at first, but then I was a very good boy. It was not a long ride, only about 30 miles altogether. Mama put me in my potty right before we left, but I hopped right out. We had about five miles to get back home when I started to howl something terrible. Mama and daddy were just sure I needed to go potty, so mama kept telling me we were almost home, and daddy was doing some real serious driving. We pulled into the driveway, and daddy jumped out and ran for the door while mama grabbed my carrier. Mama flung the door open, and I came strolling out. She scooped me up and put me in the potty, but I just looked at her like "what the heck?" That did not win me any prizes neether.
Anyway, now it is Monday, and mama says we are back to "racing the rats," whatever that means.
January 14th 2010 6:51 pm
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Who is this "askew," and why does he keep telling on me? Mama was straightening up the house this evening. She walked over to the parlor table in the living room and said, "Gunnarr, you have been naughty. Why do you keep jumping up here and playing with the dried arrangement in great grandma's vase?"
Well, I didn't know it was great grandma's vase, and I have never met her anyway. Of course I keep jumping up to play with the arrangement. There are little skinny birch branches with dried leaves on them. They make the most WONDERFUL toy. I could have tried to tell mama all this, but instead I just looked at her like "SO?"
Then she said something about how she could always tell when I'd been up there because things were "askew." I wish askew would quit tattling on me. He is ruining my fun.
January 14th 2010 2:42 pm
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Mama was surprised at how good I was today. It might have something to do with my shots the other day. I have been sleeping a little more since I got my rabies shot on Tuesday.
I slept and played nice with my toys until this afternoon. Then mama heard me talking like I do to my toys sometimes, a cute little conversational tone I use instead of my usual yowling. Mama started looking around to see where I was. She started talking to me, calling me, but I would not come. She got up and looked all around. No Run and Gun anywhere. She started getting kind of scared because she knew I was somewhere I wasn't sposed to go. She finally found me sort of behind and under the daybed. I can't really get under it because there is a pop-up mattress underneath, but somehow (it was hard, let me tell ya) I got underneath the edge and went back behind. I guess I forgot I'm not a pipsqueak anymore. I had to squirm and work to get my long, lean big boy self turned around. Mama looked pretty relieved when I finally made my escape from the big bad daybed. I guess pretty soon I'll be too big to hide anywhere fun except in the closets.
I love my new kitty cursor. Mama found it last night. It is a little gray kitty playing with a red ball. Oh, it looks wonderful on my Catster page!
Thanks to everykitty who signed my guestbook. My little TV looks lots better now.
Special thanks to Kibbles, Francis, and Yoda who comment on my diary entries. It's nice to know somekitty is reading them!
January 12th 2010 6:23 pm
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I got my shots this evening. It was terrible!
First they weighed me. I am 5.06 pounds already, and I am about 18 weeks old. That part was OK. Then we waited...and waited...and waited. Finally my doctor, Dr. Mike, came in. Mama asked him to look at my eye because at my well-kitten check he saw something. He told mama there is something in a kitten's eye that has to fuse. Mine wasn't done yet. He said today both my eyes looked fine. We played a few games, and Dr. Mike gave me some treats. I should have known it was too much fun. Then he got the shot things. Oooooweeee. The rabies shot made me cry. I didn't care much about the other one. When we were done with the shots Dr. Mike listened to my heart and felt my tummy and my bladder and looked in my ears. I didn't mind that either. Mama demonstrated how long I am by holding me up like they do in cat shows. I just looked around. Then she showed Dr. how I will hang upside down. She says I am like a rag doll. Dr. was pretty impressed with that. He also said I had world record whiskers. They are kinda cool; they are black coming out and then turn white. They are pretty long and kinda curvy. I was looking sleek and shiny and pretty grown up. I am not a baby anymore, and Dr. was impressed. In fact, he was so impressed that he can't wait to see me in three more weeks. I think "something" might be going on...
January 11th 2010 6:19 pm
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My friend, Klemy. would be proud of me. I have mastered the art of pouncing, so I've added to my repertoire. I am now working on stealth. Mama was walking through the living room, and the lights were off. It was real dark, so I sneaked along right behind her until she got right in the middle of the room. Then I POUNCED, not AT her feet, but right on her feet. She screamed, and I ran like a maniac kitten. Mission accomplished. I am ready for my first assignment.
LATER: Busted! Why does the cushion on the ottoman have to skid everytime I leap on it? I get away with the actual leaping around on it, but mama always knows what I've been doing because she says the cushion is always askew. What does "askew" mean, and how do I make it stop?
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