Herbie Life

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Training Your Human

January 22nd 2011 12:15 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

Training your human is a thankless task.
"Why bother with it?", some kittens may ask.
The fate of the world is the issue at hand,
as felines worldwide stake a claim for their land.
Make no bones about it, we cats own the joint.
We spray in the corners to drive home the point.

Some say the meek shall inherit the Earth,
But they've no fangs or claws, for what that's worth.
The cat is the ultimate species, you see,
We're poised to usurp man's authority.
These silly old humans who cannot play nice!
We cats are peaceful, we hate only mice.

Just what does training your human entail?
A host of fun things you must do without fail:
The sofas and rugs need a little makeover.
The La-Z-Boy's target for kitty takeover.
Then sleep on clean towels placed in the guest bath.
And make their best clothing a target of wrath.

Tear down those new drapes with a quick forceful tug.
Then tatter the pile of the new Berber rug.
And when they are sleeping, you block off their nose,
paw at their lower lip, chew on their toes.
Strut on the mantle. If they give any flack,
knock down their trophies and all bric-a-brac.

Shed on mom's new velvet black evening gown,
as she's headed out for a night on the town.
If they leave you home all alone for the night,
(Any human doing this can't be all that bright),
They're telling you by leaving, it's perfectly all right,
To totally redecorate 'til dawn's early light.
Knock over tables and chew up the fern.
Hurry, go faster! Soon, they'll return...

When they try to punish, you mustn't show concern.
(All attempts of discipline a pussycat should spurn.)
A snide flick of tail will convey no remorse,
but they will try harder to scold you, of course!
So, hide in the closet until they forget,
and then launch out just like an F-14 jet.

Tear up their ankle, their forearm, their hand,
then when they've had all the pain they can stand,
dart from the room while they call 9-1-1,
and celebrate victory: The felines have won!
To humans, however, the battle's begun,
as they steep in their anger and wish for a gun.

Pathetic and lumbering and clumsy to boot,
My friend, human dominance is really a hoot.
Take charge in your home. It's destiny, meow.
(The verses above have already told how.)
So sleep for an hour, and then grab some chow,
And then train your human, beginning right now.

Author Unknown

 

Almost

December 2nd 2010 2:53 am
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

I almost made it to freedom but meowmy was to fast and got me she open the dorr she out cleaning windows out side she was bringing in her step labber she keep in the house its hers and when she open the door I made a run for it I wasn`t fast enough I had to stop and smell the roses in my path and mom caugh up with me she was on my tail and I went to the neighbour patio where she caught up with me I really wasn`t going anywhere just out for a run Humman they are strange people Do You Think?

 

In Flanders Fields

November 9th 2010 9:52 am
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)

Canadian Army
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

 

Looking for my Fur Daddy!!!

September 27th 2010 8:17 am
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Hi all of you I`m looking for my daddy if you think you are him please pawmail me I so very much to get to know you So please let me know if you are my DADDY!!

 

I`m A Potato Cat

August 15th 2010 1:31 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Mom left the back room open where she keep her potatoes and she came back in the hall there I was playing with a Potato she call me her potato cat now i`m special to have a name like that I`m Special and Callie look on please i`m special.

 

Going Higher !!

July 13th 2010 7:05 am
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

I`m going Higher in life these days .Those mom don`t like the idea of the fact i`m going high she walk in to the kitchen and she had to look twice to made sure what she was seeing me laying on top of the fridge like I belong there She yell HERBIE and call Dad to tell him what I been up to dad just laugh and said that Herbie for you going higher.I love my new home.

 

WOW AGAIN!!!

April 28th 2010 3:12 am
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Wow pick again can`t beleive it I`m honour Ladies at the the CQ I`m so honours Thank you again for picking me I love all of You to death if you was here I would give you a Love bite Thank you again for picking me.

 

Oh Boy!!!

April 24th 2010 11:19 am
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

My day been great to go outside with my harness on first time what a big world out there so many places to look at and I try to chase my first bumble bee but mom said they will hurt me if I caught one so I ate grass instead but mom though it will made me sick so she brought me inside again it was fun while it lasted Now Callie sooking and she won`t let mom put her harness on her so she have to stay inside .

 

What a noise!!

April 13th 2010 5:13 am
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Humans come to my house and I get lock in the bedroom and Callie i`m not sure where she is right now These Humans came and remove the door it cold mom all she say is get back in the room and close that door .Well they are madeing some pile of noise and they are keeping me from my naps I`m trying to see what going on Mom say I can`t come out so relax a little Callie is in the back room she OK she told me .I got to go and see what going on how am i`m going to do it ! I`m thinking !



PS. I want to be corral a 100 times my friends please corral me


Herbie

 

It Me again Herbie

March 16th 2010 9:48 am
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HQ it me Herbie I really want the honour of COTD,or DDP or COTW Callie going around here like she own the world news sis you don`t own nothing .
I been a good boy i`m not biting like I was mom think i may grow out of that .That what she hopeing anyway she said to dad last night he only a year got to give him time to grow up some.I promise her I will be good I will try honest I will try .It March break here so there lots of kids to watch out of the window some even talk to me hehe some have these things call Dogs I beleive i haven`t met one Callie have any way must go get my nap in .
Oh one more thing I want to be corral a 100th times like Callie
Let see who can reach a 100th first Callie or I!

 
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