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Severian's Monologues

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My 15th birthday

November 19th 2014 4:47 am
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Today I am 15 years old in human years, and 82 in cat years.

Mom says she hopes she looks half as good as me when she's that age in human years. My black fur is flecked with white, but it's as lustrous as ever, and when she pets me, it feels like kitten fur.

I am fortunate to be in good health and living with a loving family, and for the most part my fursibs and I get along. Well, one does have to tease one's sister every so often, and get the smacky-paw in return.


I'm 14 today!

November 19th 2013 7:16 am
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Another year, another birthday. I'm doing very well health-wise, although Mom says I'm getting more white hairs. She should talk!

I have not been confined to the crate since August, and I haven't baptized anything in all that time! Mom put up a pet gate between the kitchen and dining room, and I have to stay in the area with the kitchen, family room and laundry, which have easy-clean surfaces. But it's OK, since that's where the family tends to hang out anyway.

Once I snuck out when Dad came down for a glass of juice in the middle of the night, and Mom woke up to find me snoozing next to her. I didn't piddle anywhere, but she says she's not taking any chances with the new front door and hall rugs. So when she went downstairs, I had to go back behind the pet gate.

She and Dad have to do human doctor stuff this week, so my birthday party will be delayed until this weekend. But it will be good, she promises!


Parole!! And then I messed up. Again.

June 30th 2013 3:46 pm
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Oh, blissful night. I was allowed outside my crate all day yesterday, since the peeps were home all day, and I was even allowed to venture upstairs to sleep on their bed. Heaven!!!

Mom saw that I used the litter box downstairs just before bedtime, so she decided to take a chance and let me stay out overnight. I slept next to her half the night and next to dad the other half. I was SOOOOO happy!!!

But this morning, the throw rug at the hall entrance

Sadly, I'm confined again at night. But Mom decided to get a pet gate for the door between the kitchen and dining room, instead of putting me in the crate all day. I might still pee on stuff, but it's all slipcovered and the cushions underneath are plastic-wrapped. Unfortunately, the pet gate is too high for Bear and Vicki to jump, so during the day when she's not home, they're going to have to share my restricted zone.

On the other hand, they still have more space than the average New York studio apartment cat. At least that's what she tells herself to make herself feel less guilty.


On parole!

March 13th 2013 3:55 pm
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Mom's schedule is all mixed up this week, 'cause she's been rising at 4:30 a.m. to get to the city by 7 a.m. for some software training. Too bad for her. She usually starts work at noon, and her body clock is all haywire. She hasn't been getting enough sleep and now she has a sinus infection.

But it's been great for me!! Mom lets me out of my crate in the dark pre-dawn hours and feeds us all, cleans the litter box and makes Dad's lunch, and then gets ready for work. She leaves me out of my crate because Dad is supposed to put me back in when he leaves for work later.

But Dad hasn't remembered to do that, not even once! So I've been lounging with the fursibs all day long. Happily, there have been no inappropriate peeing episodes so far.

But Mom is not convinced of a cure. Tonight, when she got home, I stood at the door of the crate and meowed to get in. When I did, I went directly to the litter box and was there for so long that she thought that we'd all had a beer party in her absence.


I'm so happy today!

December 6th 2012 6:18 am
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I'm Catster's Cat of the Day, and I have a wonderful new pic for my page, thanks to Manytoes and family! And I got a special breakfast of roast chicken! Mom was saving it for her lunch sandwich, but decided I deserved it. Thanks, Catster!


Now that I'm 13...

November 19th 2012 8:09 pm
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I intend to get a learner's permit, because it won't be long before I'm bugging the 'rents for the car keys.


Living in a crate, the update

August 20th 2012 7:57 pm
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Friends, you may recall that after a final unacceptable episode of my peeing on the furniture, my humans decided to confine me to a dog crate when they could not personally supervise me. I get out for an hour or so in the morning until the humans go to work, and then Dad lets me out when he gets home from work around 6 or 7, and I'm free (though confined to the kitchen and family room) until the human bedtime around midnight.

Finally, I got what I always wanted. My very own litter box, shared with no other cat. Mom always knows when I need it. I sit outside the cage and meow until she lets me in. And when I'm done, I meow to get back out.

See, all they needed to do all those years was lock up all the other cats. If they had, they'd still have their rugs and stuff.

Anyway, this isn't so bad. I can sleep in the little cubby at the bottom of the cat perch without Vicki bothering me. I get my own food dish and water dish, and I don't have to wolf my treats down because I know they'll still be there later if I want to save them.

I recommend this to other humans who have "litter-box problem" kitties.


My humble prose gets a nod from the Diary Chick

June 25th 2012 6:40 am
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I'm kinda surprised she liked that one, but maybe the algorithm is set for long posts? Anyway, thanks, D.C., and to my friends who messaged me with congrats. Love you all!


In the doghouse. For real.

June 23rd 2012 1:55 pm
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I think I peed outside the box once too often, my friends. Last week Mom came home from work, and was greeted by an all-too-familiar smell as soon as she walked in the front door. Yup, I peed on the living room couch. And also on one of the living-room chairs.

Fortunately, all the household furniture is slip-covered and the furniture itself is wrapped in plastic under the slipcovers. So this time she didn't have to throw out expensive furniture. But she has had to do that before, along with every rug that she ever owned. And the Roomba, which I peed on. And several computer keyboards. And one of Dad's expensive textbooks. And once she had to re-print their tax returns because I baptized them while they were on her desk. (She says she can sort of understand that one.) And she has mopped up more "puddles" on the floor than she cares to count.

Extensive vet work-ups show no physical problem, and Mom has tried everything else to solve this longstanding problem. Behavioral therapy. Anti-anxiety medication. Pheremones. Nothing has worked.

So this time she went out and bought a large dog crate. Big enough for a carpeted cat perch, a litter box, some toys and my food and water dishes. I live there now whenever I can't be personally supervised by Mom or Dad.

It could be worse, I guess. I get out in the morning to eat with my sibs and sit on a human lap while they drink coffee and read the paper. I get out again at night to sit in the family room with the rest of the family.

But I have to sleep in my cage. And I have to be in there all day when the humans are at work. I don't like it. At all.

For two days, my fursibs stayed downstairs with me in solidarity. But Bear and Vicki caved eventually and started going upstairs to sleep in the bed with Mom and Dad. Jasper stays downstairs, but always in the family room.

Mom says this is better than a full-time cage at a no-kill shelter, which was the other alternative. She doesn't want to give me up. But she can't afford new furniture, either.



Sparkly chompers

March 27th 2012 6:49 am
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Yesterday was awful. Mom put me in my carrier and took me to the vet. I don't know what hit me, but when I woke up my mouth was all sore and I was unsteady on my feet. I had to wait there for hours until Dad came to get me.

But my teeth are all white and pearly now! And the vet didn't steal any, thank goodness. I counted them all twice and they're all still there.

And I got some yummy baby food for dinner last night and breakfast this morning!

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Severian DB #165b


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