Donate Cuddles!

I have been banished from the bathroom. I don't understand why. This morning I was investigating a new addition: a bottle of some kind of liquid with sticks in it. It had a nice smell but you can't trust anything, even things that smell nice! So I reached out a paw to get a closer look and BAM! Knocked it over. The suspicious liquid poured all over and before I could notify a HAZMAT team to clean the area, mom and dad cleaned it up. They didn't wear containment suits or anything! I tell you, these humans are lucky to be alive, the way they carelessly open mail and walk out the door without protection. Good thing they have a super spy in the house, sniffing out danger!

Mom was sad the other day. She has been watching the news a lot. I watch it, too, when the humans are away, to make sure nothing dangerous is coming to our home. So it saves me time, to watch with her. Lately there have been terrible reports of people losing their homes and getting sick because of something they call "Katrina". If this Katrina comes anywhere near my humans, I'll scratch it all up! I think it's gone, but it still makes mom sad. I wish we could do something about it together, to help those people. Maybe they need some cuddles. Cuddles are a secret spy technique but I think they would help. I'll start working on that. Donate cuddles!

Even spies have birthdays

Today is... my birthday. Do I look 1 year old? The mirror doesn't lie. Oh well, a spy only gets better with age, right?

After all the excitement that mommy and daddy had on their birthdays I couldn't wait to see what mine would bring. A new structure for survelliance, complete with hideout and tall perch! They call it a "kitty condo." Mom and dad put it in front of the window, so now I will be able to guard the house from on high and quickly duck out of sight if any hostiles get too close. I can also store my toys, I mean, my highly sensitive spy equipment, inside. Later tonight I hope to have a pumpkin treat, but for now I will watch over my home and chew on this here catnip pirate.

Hot Hot Heat

It's been awhile since my last Cat Intelligence Agency report. Things have been slow. Not much activity in the perimeter and even when I do see enemies or civilians they are sluggish. Must be the heat. The only other unusual change is the increase of small humans outside the house. It started about a month ago. They run around with amazing energy and some of them even have wheels on their feet! As much as I like to bite feet (it's a safety measure, not something I enjoy. really!) I'd probably break a tooth on those wheeled humans.

Daddy has been spending a lot of time in the basement. I don't mind because it's so cool. I just curl up under his chair or on his lap and take a nap. The spy business is hard work! Of course, I mean, I'm monitoring the sublevel for intruders. Yeah, that's it.

Feelin' hot hot hot

I am not pleased. The windows have been shut, seriously hindering my ability to guard the perimeter. At least the shades are up, but not being able to hear or smell anything unusual is quite disconcerting. The only good thing is that it was getting HOT out there. Maybe the heat will discourage the enemy from coming out.

After the humans closed the windows, cool air started coming out of the vents. I was only used to hot air coming out, so naturally I was alarmed. I held my breath as long as I could while I tried to locate some air testing equipment, but I couldn't hold on long enough! Turns out the cool air is fine. So fine that I have started lay in front of the vent in the family room. Hey, I'm sure it's all right, and it feels good!

In other news, mommy had a birthday. I wasn't sure what that meant, but mom and dad stayed out late one night, then the next day people came over with big boxes wrapped in paper. After attacking these "presents," chewing and sniffing them for safety, I got petted and admired by the guests. Birthdays are acceptable, in my book.

Very superstitious

So I'm doing surveillance of the backyard area, routine work, not much excitement, when Mommy tells me she heard me earlier, talking upstairs. What?! Could she have overheard my status call to division? I was relaying some very sensitive information on closet entry and folding door schematics! If she heard that, not only could she block my closet access (like Daddy did the under sink cabinets, almost ruining a mission) but division could suspend my agent status. How could she have heard me? My cover story is that I'm crying because I want to sit in the bathroom sink, and that usually works. I wonder... Could there be a MOLE???

I quickly purred and rubbed against her, and all was forgotten. Crisis averted! For now...

All in a spy's work...

Rough night. Awoke to flashing lights, crashing sounds. Thought we were under attack! Daddy called it a "thunderstorm". In the morning, the outside was wet and there was little activity. Rabbit, Bird and Squirrel were still hiding from this thunderstorm, but I was brave enough to face it! The things I go through to protect my family.

On training...

Last night, mommy and daddy were watching the "TV". They are so attached to it... I wonder if I could use it in a mind control experiment if need be. Will keep this in mind for the future. But I digress. Mommy mentioned to me that my namesake was on, and she pointed out a human spy by the name of Sydney (great name, by they way). I was transfixed by this super, super spy! Must remember not to fall asleep while cuddling my humans during this historical document showing. I think I could learn a lot from this human Sydney.

Currently am testing a new alarm system in case hostiles penetrate the perimeter. It's a crude invention, but so far quite successful. I managed to rig some of my toys into an early warning device to alert the humans to any impending danger. Stick with feathers and ball with bell come together to create a working alarm! Mommy and daddy were not pleased, but what better time to test the system than 0300 hours? They'll thank me when an intruder breaks in and I save them, even in the middle of the night!

Agent Report: The Enemy Comes Out to Play

Finally have some time to log a report. There has been a lot of activity in the perimeter. Hostiles are coming out of hiding and the surrounding areas are turning green and growing. The enemy must be creating this cover to fool me, but they can't! In order to get a better view I used my cuteness to get Mommy and Daddy to open the windows. They think it's nice, letting the warm air into the house. The fools! If it weren't for me, they'd have been attacked by now! I stand guard, sniffing the air and scaring away those who dare to come near. Their code names are Rabbit, Squirrel and Bird. Must try to interrogate. More later as this develops....

Brother, or impostor?

My brother came to visit. At least, they told me he was my brother. I didn't recognize him because I haven't seen Chandler in such a long time. Maybe he was a spy in disguise! I kept watch from upstairs to make sure he didn't steal any super secret documents, but all he did was play with my toys. Either this guy did his research, or he really was my brother!

Mom is hurt and I'm sad. She has been limping around the house and can't dance. I miss her dancing because I like to be her backup dancer. She puts ice on her foot so I lay on her to make sure the rest of her stays warm. Poor mom. Daddy takes care of her, too. I thought she might want some entertainment so I brought some of my toys up to her bedroom. For some reason, she doesn't want to play at night when the house is dark. I don't get it.

Access Denied!

Having some problems in the field. Am not allowed access to all of the places in the house I need to investigate. Don't these humans realize I'm trying to keep them safe?! I wasn't allowed in one room for weeks. Now I am, and it has a strange new color and smell. Mommy and Daddy seem to be fine, but what if something happened to them and I couldn't come to the rescue? There's another room with all kinds of big machines that make strange sounds, but they won't let me in it to investigate. They go in and out of the room with big baskets and once a month a lady comes to spray a chemical in there. Who is this lady? What's she doing in there? At least I can monitor who goes into and out of the house. There's a bell sound that signals arrivals so I make sure to run to the door, thoroughly sniff whatever comes in and approve it before it goes any further. Sometimes I hear the bell but nothing is at the door. My people laugh and tell me it's just the TV. Stupid TV, mocking me! Though I do like it when it has football, cooking shows or Gilmore Girls on it.