September 13th 2012 4:54 am
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Gumpy left me yesterday afternoon, at home in my arms with the help of our vet. I wish I could have had him for much longer, but his little body had had enough with all he has dealt with the past 6 years. He fought for a while, but the time came and we needed to help him. It was deeply sad and my tears haven’t stopped, but it ended up being peaceful as well.
The last couple weeks he was getting more lethargic, but he was eating well so I thought he was holding steady. I had so hoped that his kidney values would remain stable or possibly improve a little with the treatments we were doing. But with the additional issue with his kidneys that happened recently I wasn’t sure.
I didn’t think he was doing too badly because his appetite was still good (he was actually eating until the day before he passed, though he could hardly stand). But by this past weekend he started going downhill. Gumpy had some arthritis and challenges walking for the last year or so, but by Saturday his back legs were so weak he couldn’t get into the litter box. The next day, Sunday, his front legs were also weak and he could hardly walk; he was stumbling. From this point I was carrying him into the litter box and by Monday not a lot was coming out. I made an appointment with my vet for Tuesday and I was thinking that maybe the leg weakness was anemia or low potassium which happens with CKD kitties, and maybe it was treatable.
I took him to the vet on Tuesday and she thought the weakness was probably more related to his CKD in general, but they looked at some of his blood values in-house and he was becoming more anemic. We started him on Epogen for anemia and I had hope that he could improve, but we also needed to see what the rest of the bloodwork looked like. Maybe he could start walking again and I could also do more for his arthritis.
But he was worse when he got home from the vet on Tuesday afternoon. Now he wasn’t really interested in food. He ate a little sliced turkey, but not any cat food. I thought maybe it was a reaction to the medication?
That last night was really difficult. He wasn’t doing well, and I had him close to me on one of his kitty beds/cushions on the bed. I was very scared that he would pass there during the night and I didn’t want to be asleep while it happened. I stayed awake for a while and then I kept waking up to check on him and it was distressing because he kept wanting to get up and move, but he couldn’t. He let out a few little meows of frustration or pain and I was scared he would die right there. I kept telling him to hold on until the morning and we’d help him.
I pretty much knew by yesterday morning. He wouldn’t eat his regular food, though he did eat a little more sliced turkey which he always loved. I still needed to hear from the vet about the rest of his bloodwork. She called me yesterday about 12:45pm and all his kidney values were way up. His body was shutting down. I had asked her about it the day before, and while on the phone she told me she had a block of time in the afternoon and she and a vet tech could come to my house to help him pass. I had to process this huge decision, but I called her back and told her we needed to do this today.
He was already leaving and we needed to help him the rest of the way.
I called my dad who is retired and he came over. Also my mom who will be retired soon was able to come from work.
I showered my precious little boy with love for an hour and a half. I told him I loved him forever. I thanked him for being here for me for 18 years and told him he was the most wonderful cat I could ever imagine. That he was such a blessing and a gift. I told him how I’d miss him so much, but that he would be at peace now. I prayed that he would be gently carried into his transition. I told him to take my love with him. I told him this and much more.
Dr. Taylor is a sweet vet which is a one reason I like her. She took her time and was gentle and caring and let me know what was happening. We sedated him, and then he left gently at home in my arms while being loved and held and surrounded by family. As much as I didn’t want that moment, it ended up being as peaceful as it could be.
Thank you so much for all the loving, caring words and gifts. It means a great deal to me and to my forever sweet boy.
It’s going to take a while for this to sink in, but I do feel a sense of peace here even though I’m in deep grief too. 18 years together is a long time.
Love and gratitude ~
Jen (and also sweet Gumpy)
P.S. Thank you to Eva and Lisa for letting everyone know what was happening.
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Sorry, the last comment should have come from one of my babies.
Gumpy was blessed to have such a wonderful life with you. You know how much we love your Sweet Boy, thank you for sharing him with us. He is a truly special little guy, we will always love him.
Love & Hugs, Tully and Mom Kelly
Goodbye, Gumpy, my friend. You will always be with us in our hearts.
Gumpy had a wonderful long with you. He was a lovely boy who stole my heart too and you were a great momma to him. That he lived 18 years as a sugar baby is a testament to your devotion.
The sad fact is cats have not been granted a very long life span..At least to those of us who love them~it never is long enough.
How peaceful it must have been for him to be in your arms and with the help of Dr Taylor go gently to whatever is next. I hope he has met my Alfie and his nephers who adores him! I imagine them scampering around in the sunshine,chasing butterflies..beautiful and forever young. Knowing nothing but joy..and perhaps if we are truly lucky we will see them again.
That is my dream for all of us who love these beautiful creatures with all our hearts......
Jen,please take care of yourself. Hug your sweet Nadi. Indulge in whatever gives you peace~you've earned it.
I know in time 18 years of precious memories will bring the smiles back to your face.Gumpy does live on in your heart and in your memories.........
I am here if anytime you need to talk.
Love and hugs~
PS I am so glad your parents were with you!
Sending our love and purrs... ♥
Platelicker and PurrFamily
We have been in tears at our home..we know it's never easy to lose a family member. Gumpy will away's be so furry spawcial in our hearts. Thank you for sharing the story about sweet Gumpy, as sad as it is, you were there for him, with him, through it all. I know he thanks you and loves you for helping him cross. The Bridge is beautiful and as he grabs his wings, he is playing and romping now through catnip fields and gardens, healthy and new~! I like to think Smokey Joe is there with him, and enjoying the Heavens full of loving light and harmony. Gumpy was blessed to have you and to know you and love you such a very long time~ We never know when it's our time...but I hope and wish your heart comes to a happier place, as all those fantastic memories come and happy smiles show on your face.
In the meantime, just know we are here too, and with you in spirit with tonz o' love, as MILO would say...Always~
Mommy Kathy, MILO, MALLEE, Sam, Smokey Joe, 'n cousins Timmy 'n Ziggy
Well, Gumpy arrived up here at the bridge, and boy, was his heart basket heavy and overflowing! We all greeted him and our paws were high fiving for about an hour! He is in orientation and then the party will begin as all his angel pals help him get settled in at the bridge. I know he is going to be a pawsome guardian angel! Sending purrs and comforting angel dust to his family during this sad time ~
Dear Jen, What a beautiful life you have given each other. Those eighteen years filled with beautiful memories. We have tears in our eyes as we read your diary but yet in our hearts we feel that swell of love, the love you shared for each other and the example that you leave here for all of us to follow, not only in his final hours, but his entire life. I'm glad that he could go to the bridge from home and that your family could all be together. I know that Gumpy will be a beautiful and sweet Angel and will enjoying romping up there till you are reunited. Sending our purrs and prayers of comfort to you, Nadia and your family.
We, too are sending our purrs of condolence and love to you at this difficult time.
How nice that your vet was able to spare him a trip to the vet, so that in his own surroundings being hugged by those he knew and who cherished him, he could make a peaceful journey to that pawlace ovfur the bridge, known as RainbowBridgeLand.
We loved you, too, sweet Gumpy, we will miss your sweet little visage, and wise eyes.
Rest peacefully and fly freely!
((((( ♥ )))))
Pipo, Minko & Meowmy Ingrid
We are so sorry to hear about sweet Gumpy! Losing a loved one is never easy and we send our sincere condolences. May you be comforted in knowing he is truly a beautiful angel and remember all the wonderful times you spent together. 18yrs is an amazing journey filled with unconditional love and laughter! Godspeed sweet Gumpy! You will always be loved and never forgotten!
Hugs and purrs,
Simon & Reuben(an angel)
We are so sorry to hear the news of sweet Gumpy. We are sending our purrs to you and your family.
Love Rex and family
We are so sorry to hear about your precious Gump. Please know that we are all here for you Jen. Fly free sweet gumpy we love you so much!!
What does one say to a person who has watched us progress in our lives from tiny kitten to Elderwise Sage? How to comfort the lovely mom who has had to say farewell...
Perhaps as my daddy would say it....never say goodbye...just see you later....see you later....til we meet again.
We know no cat with a richer life who was so well and truly loved. A full life, life on this plane for us with our people is never long enough. But you, dear dear Gumpy's mom, are so blessed...trust that love is forever, and life is immortal, though it is painful to watch a chapter close....
But there is always, my dear....a new edition....a continuation of the never ending story...
I stand up on my hind legs and hold my paws in the air...and salute the most wonderful, handsome Cat ever..we salute you Gumpy....and we send you on your way with purrs and leaps into the air as we watch you leap up and out...and into the company of Greats.
love and light,
Ruffy and the KG cats, and of course, my Mommy and Daddy
Do you know I didn't cry that much yesterday, I think I was still in shock. But seeing it all down now on his page, makes it all so real. You are such a wonderful mom to your babies and Calvin is right, he's going to make one heck of a furtastic angel. We love him so much I can't even tell you. There's just something about him that stole all of our hearts.
Jen, I put a small note on his page about diabetes on my site saying that he passed peacefully at home. I thought it important to put a small tribute there.
Jen, you are in my thoughts and prayers, Gumpy was a very special sweet boy we all loved him. You are lucky you had him for 18 years and he was lucky to have you. You did everything and more, it was a hard decision, I know because Tallulah was in the same state and I did the same thing during the night. I know in my heart it was time to let her go as you know it was Gumpy's time to go, even if was the hardest thing you have done.
Gumpy is a very handsome angel now watching over you always, he will never leave you he is in your heart and memories. He left his paw print in many hearts, he will always be remembered.
Mom is very very sad today because we all lost a good friend. Hope in time you will find comfort in knowing we are all here for you and we know Gumpy will be around to help others as I am & a lot of his angel friends.
Sending you a special butterfly from heaven, look and you will see this butterfly and you will know it is from your sweet Gumpy.
We all send you our love and lots of hugs
QT and family
Just wanted to let you know you are in our heart and prayers. We think Gumpy was one very special little boy and he was blessed to have you for his mom. gentle hugs Anna and mom
To my bud, Gump
yous was always there for everyfur and their pawrents. Yous made a big impression on all ofs us.
We love yous, and will never ever forgets yous. Love always, your bud,
Da Catfather, and his furmily
(Bows head in silent purrayer)
P S Forrest will say something later
Goodbye, Unkie Gump. I will always remember you, it's because of you, I have my name!!.
*Stands on hind legs, gives PotP salute to Gump*
Be happy, now, Unkie.
I love you!!
G for Gump!!
We know the depth of your love and the depth of your sorrow... our condolences and our purrs of comfort to you.
Dear Gump's Mom Jen,
My heart goes out to you. To say I know how you feel is as understatement. Having just lost my own baby of 19 years to CRF, I can so relate to you. All of us send our love and purrs.
Tigger's Mom Gina
I am so sad Gumpy had to leave you. We will help look after him the way our catster moms will help look after you.Gumpy is a very special boy.
Purrs to you,
Molly and Misha
What a beautiful farewell you gave Gumpy. And what a loving, caring human family you have. I know they will support you as you mourn your longtime faithful companion. We are all sending our love to you as well. His memory will be with us forever.
Love, Jasper and fursibs, and mom Cass
My heart breaks for you Jen. Tears are streaming down my face I can "hear" your love for GUMP. He seemed to be an old soul probably since he was small.
You two will meet again and it will be a glorious meeting.
Our love to you and prayers for strength and solace.
Tessa, Mr. Boots and Momma Denise
Hello my friends,
Thank you so much for all of your messages. Every one of them, every word I am grateful for. It helps with the emptiness I'm now feeling. I want to respond to each of you, each message. But for now I just want to say thank you. Tessa and momma Denise!, Jasper and mom Cass, Molly and Misha, Tigger's Mom Gina, Ashlynne, Oh little Forrest G and Blizz! Anna and the furryones, Angel QT and Angel Alex, Orange Ruffy and Deb, Shadow, Rex, Simon, WeeBees, Skylar, Calvin, Milo and Mommy Kathy, Platelicker, Samhain, Alfie and Eva, Tully and mom Kelly, Phantom and Lori, thank you...thank you all!
Having this support, love and understanding helps so much.
Gumpy was lucky to have a wonderful life with you. Sending lots of purrs and big hugs your way!
Angel Gumpy was welcomed with open wings here at the Bridge and is now healthy as a kitten. You should see him run and play!
My little angel sispurr Raincloud is teaching new angels how to fly up through the Rainbow gathering Rainbow glitter dust on their wings... and Gumpy is next in line! Don't worry... she is an expert teacher.
MamaCat Jen... watch for glitter dust on your shoulders : )
Just checking in on you today. It was a long time ago that we met you and Nadia, you were such a help to us, thank you. Then we met Gumpy too. We love you all so much, sending you more hugs today. Purring for you, Shadow, Wilson and Mum Tina
Thank you Jezebel and thank you Cartman for the sweet message. It is comforting to read that.
Hi again Shadow and mum Tina. I appreciate you stopping back. We've always loved you and Shadow as well. I need to stop over the parenting-furkids site soon. Thank you for posting there (I saw it).
Feeling pretty sad and lost today though without this little presence here. Even though he wasn't that well, his presence was always still so comforting in way I can't explain.
It's still REALLY REALLY fresh Jen. He just left you a few days ago. Time unfortunately goes so very slow at first it's like torture. But talking about it here is good for you, it won't take the pain away but we can at least be here to listen and to say we know how you feel.
Hi Jen, just stopping by to say hello. You have nothing to explain sweetie. Of course you miss his sweet presence and you always will...
There is a thunderstorm here, and I am thinking Calvin, my Ollie and Alfie are teaching Gumpy how to bowl...
Take care of yourself. Kisses to Nadi.
Love and hugs~
Thank you, Lisa. Yes, so true. It does help to talk about it and have friends who understand. Fortunate to have a place like this.
Awww....bowling. What a sweet thought. Thanks, sweetie.
OOh OOh! Alex wants to go bowling too! MOL. Sounds fun!
At least this way you aren't alone in your grief. And it really is so much worse when you are. I never could have gotten through Alex's passing without my online friends.
I found this on a wonderful ckd/crf website, felinecrf.org, from this page on coping with loss: http://www.felinecrf.org/coping_with_your_loss.htm
"...Here is one lady's experience of grief written very shortly after her cat, Gus, died after 15 years together. I think it is extremely moving.
"I still have peace, but peace does not have a cold nose, a pink tongue, whiskers or a warm purr. Peace does not use the litterbox, hurl hairballs or wake me at two in the morning because it got lonely and wanted to crawl under the covers. The sure knowledge that I did the best I could does not demand fresh running water in the bathtub, lose its toys under the living room couch or chase moths. And even that wonderful sense of love I knew after my kitty-cat crossed, does not meow when I come home late or interrupt me at the computer with a warm paw on my leg, asking for a lap and a cuddle. And though a fresh new set of paws will one day walk into my heart, the here-and-now, day-to-day presence of a creature who knew me better than I know myself, loved me better than I love myself (and let me know that on a regular basis, conceited little creature that he was), is gone. Peace is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't wear fur.
And when I miss that fur so much, when the grief swells and threatens to consume me, the memory of my bond with my fur-person grounds me. It tells me to look forward and celebrate the joy that bounded into my life so many years ago; to pause and ground myself, let the love that was there surface and know that the love is still there. It's lonelier on this side, but if I ride out the grief I come full circle back to the peace. It doesn't wear fur and it doesn't stop tears, but it does bring the memory of love and changes the tears from those of desperate sorrow to those of healing and of hope."...."
Very healing for anyone who has experienced this.
Very eloquent and quite beautiful!
That was beautiful.
That really is lovely, Jen.
Maybe that presence you spoke of earlier, was so comforting in that special way, because of those tight bonds of trust and love between you and Gumpy.
Meowmy knows this feeling herself...
Hugs to you, Jen, and give Nadia a big one, too.
Funny thing happened when I opened this entry to type...Pipo started to meow loudly at me, and Minko jumped like a startled kitty out of his latest fave box...eerie, I think there was a different kind of presence here, too...because even though we never met, we shared in loving Gumpy, too...Catster love!
We cats and dad are all in deep mourning over this loss. Gump was a superlative example of all the magic and wonder cats bring to our lives.
Jen, your words clearly show the love and grace that comes when we open our hearts to these amazing creatures. They teach us so much. We will miss you dear friend. Fly high spreading Kitty Angel Dust on those in need.
Over the bridge he will he will enjoy endless play in grassy fields that are full of exciting things to chase. The sun will shine on patches of flowering catnip where he and his friends will roll before having succulent meals served on silver platters. They will all then groom each other in peace and take a short snooze on billowing clouds before starting all over again.
Thank you Jen for sharing this difficult time with us.
We will miss you Gump. Purrs and head bumps to your wonderful family and specially for Mom.
Love Timmy, Toby, Buddy, Rumpy, Buttons, Fitz, and dad Pete
Oh Pete, thank you. So many tears...
He was a superlative example of all the magic and wonder cats bring into our lives. So hard to explain what he was to me, what he brought. I just had to look at him, look at the sweet face and those eyes and my heart opened and softened. Everything about him was that magic. He was truly a gift from God/the Universe. I believe we are given these beings to help us feel comfort in our lives and to help us remember the greater Reality, and sometimes we get that special one who we bond with in such a profound way - he was that to me. Yes, they do teach us so much. He was a once in a lifetime cat. Now he's not here and it's deep pain; agonizing. And I've been doing all the "what-ifs" and "if onlys" and going over everything and what I could have done better.
Thank you for your kind and wonderful words, dad Pete. I've always appreciated your depth as well as your sense of fun.
Thank you, Pipo & Minko and meowmy Ingrid. Yes, our bond was so tight, right from day one when I found him. Thanks for sharing that with me about what happened with Pipo and MInko when you opened this diary. It made me smile a little.
I know you all have felt something similar and I'm glad we have this place to share it.
I meant to say I just had to look at THAT sweet face (not THE sweet face - which sounds odd).
Hi Mom, now that I'm an angel being maybe I can send you some special angel energy to help you with your chronic typos. I Love you!
You express so well what I feel about my Tigger; I wish I could say it like you did about Gumpy. What special boys we had in our lives.
Hi Gina, thank you. It so nice to know others here understand. I'm sending caring hugs to you and your beautiful boy. What a special, precious boy you had. I always thought he also had such a sweet face.
Thank you Jen. Yes, I think Tigger had a sweet face too, and it matched his disposition. :) He had a tender heart and a gentle spirit.
MOL!~! Dat's me Gumpy grand furiend~!! U be in Charge now dood~! Ur da pawsome Angel 'n can do ALL~! Ya know I alwayz wonnered how Smokey Joe did all he can does~! Angels rock 'n can climb da tallest tree's 'n mountains 'n fly 'n all kin'a kewl stuff~! Mom sez alla our spawcial boys r precious~ 'n always will be~! Fur one day we all will see da Heavens delight 'n memmer alla da warm tender, fun lovin' moments o' eash 'n efuryday~! Magic, we got dat magic, dat love, dat pawsomeness, but Gumpy Ur soooo spawcial to our furmilies~! We know da tenderness 'n spawcial love Ur mommy feels 'n cherishes~! Purrlease know we does~!
Pipo 'n Minko, GUMPY iz visitin' us ALL~! Him here 'n him loves us~! Purrs on sweet Gumpy, Ur a magical, wonnerfur gift to da Heavens~! Rock on, dood~!
All these beautiful comments I'm reading are what I really love about Catster. So many caring and wonderful people whose lives are/were blessed with cats. They are wonderful, magical creatures and if you are fortunate enough to have shared your life with at least one, especially one as beautiful and sweet as Gumpy, then you have been truly blessed!
Jen, I am so sorry for your loss, you have some beautiful comments on here, that is what Catster is all about, Jesus is the only one who can give you peace and one day you will be with Gumpy again, it's promised to us, I'm looking forward to the day I will see my sweet Sonny Bono again, so when you are feeling lonely just remember Gumpy is young and healthy and running free in the catnip fields of Heaven as my sweet Angel Sonny Bono would say, Heaven is 'Paradise', God surely blessed you in giving you 18 sweet wonderful years with sweet Gumpy, now he is in Heaven with God and all the other Angels, you and your family will be in my prayers, may God bless you and give you peace~
I am so, so very sorry. The tears are flowing as I read your tribute. I have been there, and it is horrible & peaceful at the same time. I wish you peace and healing. We thank you for the advice you have given us & for sharing your sweet kitty with us. purrs, momma Renee, Tigger, Smitty, Maizy & Felix
Dear Jen, just got the sad news of your beloved Angel Gumpy. I'm so very sorry. My heart goes out to you & your family. I was so thankful to have known him! The memory of him will Always be in our hearts ♥ May the precious memories of Gumpy Sweet Boy soften the sadness in your heart. Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers. Take care. Pigeon & Mom ♥
Im so sorry I have neglected my catster friends and not been around as much as I should. I am so sorry that this has happened to Gump. You were a wonderful caregiver to Gump for so long, and my heart breaks for you. You did everything that you could do for him. *headbutts and purrs* Words are no good when the loss is this great...just know how deeply you are loved.
Thank you, Milo & Mommy, Judi & Sonny Bono, Tigger & momma Renee, Pigeon & Mom and Annabelle and family.
Thank you for your caring and comforting words for me and my precious little boy. I look forward to seeing him again, healthy and restored.