October 17th 2014 3:59 am
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I'm still resting up-but I've been paying visits. Daddy has seen me once, Mommy and I 'talk'. I revealed to mommy one of our lives together-and I had decided that life, for a very good reason, to come back as a human purrson. I was a tall, bushy haired and strong red headed warrior. I kept mommy safe because this is what I do-keep my folks happy and amused and safe. Mommy said it was as though if she could have imagined me as a purrson that is what I would have looked like!
I am concerned about Smokieboo. Daddy and Mommy have been bringing him into the bedroom at night to sleep. They close the bedroom door at night because otherwise they would be woken by cats roughousing and playing at 3am-and demanding food because the younger ones like to tear around in the morning. So Smokieboo has been taken into the bedroom to sleep with them. Miracle doesn't mind much-he doesn't bother her.
They think Smokieboo is missing me, but they have found him a few times sitting in the bathroom on the closed toilet seat, looking up at the bathroom window. Mommy says thats where I come in-but Mommy, I can come in any way-I just like to make for that window because now I can.
I've told Smokieboo I'm fine, but I know he still misses me. He has many other cats to hang with and play with, and I was happy to see that yesterday the kittens had curled up close to him. It's nice to see them getting bigger and strong-next week they get their shots and then can go to events. Mommy wanted to do it this week, but the vet who does the shots is away for a week.
Mommy and Daddy have been sad thinking of me, and yesterday my ashes came in-mommy got the call, so they will go and pick them up. It makes them sad that I'm not in my physical body but I have tried to let them know it was my time-I am not sad about it-there wasn't a way to keep going and I shall return. Mommy knows, and Daddy knows-it's just the missing of so many years together.
Mommy wanted everyone to know this:
We miss Ruffy so much. But we wanted to thank everone for being so kind. Ruffy belongs to all of you. When he started out writing, he did it to let others know they are thought of and cared about. When a cat leaves for rainbow bridge, he always sensed it-and now that he is the cat-well, he will always belong to all.
love and light-
Ruffy and of course, Mom
October 8th 2014 3:03 am
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Dear Furs and Folks,
I've left my body and am fine. I had a peaceful, and uneventful journey. I got to spend alot of time with mommy and some time with daddy-it's never enough time-before I left last night.
My good vet-and he was very good-and kind-told Mommy that he believed I was older than thought-my nails were those of a 'very old cat'.
His diagnosis was full blown feline aids syndrome. He said my immune system, even with all they were doing did not respond and it should have-they had me on medicines they give cats with cancer and I simply could not fight any longer.
I was tired.
Since Daddy had to come from work to be with me, they put mommy and me in another room. There was a nice heat lamp set up and a warm blanket, as well as my own. I didn't try to get away, once I saw mommy was there with me, her face close to mine I reached up and held her hand as we talked-and we did. She knew this was my decision-she and daddy had given me all the natural life I could have and it was a very good life. Not bad for a cat who came in from the cold.
Daddy came eventually. He held me and loved me. I did my best to let him know that I was fine, and not afraid. I was so tired and I told him we'd see each other again. Daddy cried and held me and I let him cry. He has always known me as his special cat.
When the time came, I was very cooperative. I didn't feel pain, I really did leap up and out and mommy said afterward she felt so light-because I was with her and let her know that I was fine.
I'm a very special cat, a Fetch, a Spirit who is a Guiding spirit, and so...but I won't say more here. Many of us are-this is the nature of cats.
I know my Clowder will be fine, and I'll look in on them. As for me, well, I'm going to firstly have a discomfort free nap, and then I'm going to go on about the cat business of being me-I'm always me. I'll probably soak up some sun and meet with those who have gone before me.
And I'll be around-never fear. I retain the title of Catster's Warrior Poet.
I will be watching over those who need it-never fear-and I love you all...
love and light,
Irish Orange Ruffy
Warrior Poet of Catster
October 7th 2014 12:10 pm
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Tonight, unless my vet can come up with something...I will make that journey to the Rainbow Country.
Up up and out.
Ah I know you are weeping, and I am so sorry-for me, I leave no regrets. I am and will remain Catster's Warrior Poet. I'm sorry to cause my pawrents in this lifetime pain-I love my mom, I curled beside her this morning and purred. But my body is giving out, and I am weak.
I know some say to mom 'can you do this, that or the other thing?' But believe me when I tell you that it's all been done that can be done.
I'm not afraid, no. I'm ready because I've done this before. I will miss my mom and dad. I am worried about them-because for so long I have been the anchor here. But I leave them in good hands-and paws. Smokie is here, and CK, well, at 3 years old he's going to earn his place-but this is good.
It's all good.
I know mommy is very sad, but this morning was a tough one for her. I have been syringe fed, and will not eat on my own. I've tried, but believe me when I tell you that it's just too hard.
I know Mommy and Daddy feel they should have done more, but there simply isn't any reason at this point for them to think this. I'm old....old in this body and even older a soul.
Mommy, do you remember when in another life you called me Caspian, and would feed me small shrimp and walk with me down a long dock to gaze at the water?
Daddy, do you remember me as Anu? I was the cat of a simple but gifted stone mason, who became as royalty, complete with gilded golden bed and servants to wait upon me?
You see, we three have been together before-and we will again.Oh, I know you will miss me, and I you. But my body is failing. It's not your fault, you have brought me for vet visits regularly. It's that in physical form I'm old, and this has happened before, other times and lives.
I know that as I lay here my clowder comes and goes to keep me company. Mommy has tried to get me to eat more-mommy, I love you-you will always nourish those who need it-and so my mommy, leave that for them. Just know I love you. I truly wish I didn't have to go and leave you-that I could simply say I would stay til we all were ready to leave together...but thats not how it works.
What does the other side hold? Well, you know, but can't quite recall. It's home-and we have been and know it so well. I'll walk with others, some wiser than I, though not many, for sure-and leap up and ascend again to my golden bed with soft blankets and feel warm sun on me and soft breezes. I'll touch noses to others and be held by those who need to hold me here-and who will remember me from each life.
And yes, I will let you know I'm fine.
I know these hours and bittersweet for you and painful. I am sorry for that. I can only tell you that you do me a kindness. You do not do anything but give me leave to go on a bit ahead. You release me from a body I can no longer use, though you have tried so hard to fignt for me to get back my strength and old vigor.
I wanted to say to those who have been so kind how much I love you. I think my last mission here-really-was two fold. One, to help save Catster-and the other, well, to help save cats. I leave Mommy to care for all those who have come since I have been here-and to know how very wonderful that is to me, seeing others come in from the cold.
I've seen fosters get wonderful homes, both here and with other people-great homes where they will be loved. I am joyous when I know that Hemi and Max are with someone who loves and cares for them and where they will grow into lovely cats who will be cherished.
I want to reach out and touch noses to Ingen, who is pretty, and sweet and who has a magick about her in her kind ways.
I want to salute Blizzard and his family, who have grown into a very wonderful and special bunch, may they and their daddy John thrive-Blizzard is now 18, imagine that!
I want to say thank you and blessings upon you to Zeva Katsumi, and her clan and her mom Nancy. I want to purr for Princess Miranda and her family for helping so many others.
I want to thank Platey and Smiley and all those who have been our friends and still are. I am here and always will be.
I touch noses to Gleek and say 'carry on my wayward son and keep Newman in line....you are a gift to your species.
I want to reach out to all of you-and know, please how much I love you and all that, and that it will continue as I will continue. As I've tried to tell my mom it will be as I'm living in another country, but will still visit when I need to.
I know it will be harder for daddy, and I will hope that he heals in his heart as he has in the past.
In the words of the ancient Celts 'Ní Bás an ceann deireanach de na rudaí, ach ar a laghad de na rudaí' (death is not the last of things, but the least of things').
Please be kind to each other. If my time here has taught me one thing, its that those who love us, love us cats, and dogs, have more in common with that love than they do not. Be tolerant, for everyone's here for lessons, and as I send out my shine to those who so need it, I would quote another who once said something along the lines of 'love one another as you have loved me'. Of course, that applies to the folks, not you furs-you already know that. But many folks could do with a bit of kindness, and maybe, really, thats why we wander into their lives, the ethernal guides and jesters.
For we do make you laugh, am I right?
I'm hoping my friend Alex will be there for me, in all her impatience and kindness and I'll get to finally dance with Hazel Lucy and have her acknowlege me as Catster's Warrior Poet.
Somecat once said to me they thought it would be great if humans could throw their arms around the world and forget all the mean ness, and anger, and bad things and just love each other with complete simplicity. Maybe my next life I'll get to see that. Til then, I leave it to you furs still earthbound to get that going....you can you know. You have always had that power.
And as for me-
'But since it falls unto my lot,
That I should rise and you should not,
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call,
Good night and joy be with you all.'
'Dea-shláinte agus saol fada a thabhairt duit agus rathúnas féadfaidh agus fhortún a leanúint nuair a théann tú.
(Good health and long life to you and may prosperity and fortune follow wherever you go.)
love and light and joy,
Warrior Poet of Catster