June 5th 2011 12:48 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 15 people already have ]
Oh kitties, the indecencies I have suffered! The indignities! The humiliations! The pain! Oh the pain! Have I suffered! Let me tell you kitties!
A few nights ago, I was feeling particularly chatty one night. I was talking up a storm. Mommy and daddy should feel honored that I want to talk to them so much but instead they complained I was giving them headaches! GASP! The NERVE! Me? Giving them headaches? I have a beautiful voice! humph!
That night after they had been in bed about 10 or 15 minutes, I jumped up and politely asked mommy for a few more nom noms. She tired to ignore me, humph again! Well, that's very rude! I walked up to her pillow and sat my butt down on it and poked her with my little tiny Moe Moe paws that she finds so cute and asked again. All I wanted was a little nom nom. Mommy finally relented. She got up and gave me a very little bit of nom nom which I promptly ate up! NOMMMY NOMMY NOMMY YUMMY!
Well, turns out, a half hour later I was hungry again. Since I had been able to wake mommy up once, I decided to try again. She reinforced the bad behavior after all! This time I was not successful however. Mommy got cranky and pulled me under the blankets to hug. ICKY! That wasn't what I wanted at all! We repeated this game all night long until finally around 3 or 4am mommy had had ENOUGH according to her. She sat bolt upright in bed and snatched me up, flipped me over, and looked into my eyes. "MOE MOE!" She snapped "You're being naughty! You're being a brat! STOP IT!"
I whimpered at her...'oh mommy... the pain... you're hurting me... oh mommy I suffer so... I know this is how you hold me all the time but oh mommy... this time it hurts so much... why are you abusing me mommy? don't you LOVE me anymore mommy? I'm SUCH a good Moe Moe!" I thought I was rather convincing, mommy didn't seem to buy it though. She says she knows what my pain mrats sound like and what my faking it mrats sound like. Faking it mrats? I don't have faking it mrats! I would NEVER fake it!
She put me down but this time she got up and picked something up from the kitchen and brought it back to bed. Well, of course I wasn't going to let this little incident go, so I jumped back up on the bed and started to walk up to her Mrating all the way when... SPLAT!
SQUIRT BOTTLE RIGHT TO THE FACE!!! I was in a state of shock! My MOMMY had SQUIRTED ME! She NEVER squirts me! I'm her good girl Moe Moe toes! River gets the squirt bottle cause he's got naughty toes! NEVER me! I NEVER get the squirt bottle. Then, to add insult to injury, she told me I was a BAD Moe Moe! I couldn't believe it! It was like she wasn't even my mommy anymore! My mommy would never call me a bad Moe Moe! I was so offended I ran away and hid. I did come back a little later, but this time I just slipped under the blankets to sleep with them. I was so chilly from that squirt to the face! I still haven't forgiven her. I'm thinking of moving out I'm so offended by all of this!
She's taken to sleeping with the squirt bottle next to the bed now. What's a girl to do? I don't think I deserved this! Last night she got mad at me and River cause I stole one of the cigar toys for her shop and River stole a heart and we ran away with them. She says she makes us toys all the time and we don't play with them, but once she's making them for someone else suddenly they are greatest thing in the world. We didn't get the squirt bottle for this but she did lecture us a lot, and that's almost as bad! I tell you kitties, the sufferings I have to put up with! Who wants to have me come visit for the week? I'm thinking of running away for a little while to scare mommy into appreciating me again!
*Note from Mommy*
Simone is clearly fine, and I would never hurt her. She always whimpers when she's unhappy about something after the yelling hasn't worked because she's figured out we respond fast when we think she's hurt. She does it all the time after she and River wrestle and she doesn't want to play anymore, she'll suddenly drop over in the middle of playing and whimper like he's hurt her. He looks as confused as we do. We've stopped falling for it, but it doesn't stop her from trying. It's like having a 13 year old teenage girl in the house. Since the squirt bottle night though, Simone has been much better about not waking people up. The diet she's on seems to be going decently well, and this was just her last staged offense in trying to beat us at it. I should never have relented and gave her food the first time, but I was so sleepy.
I also think Simone has finally forgiven me since this morning she slept snuggled in my arms again purring. I don't know what she wrote about me up there, but I'm sure she's over reacting!
Leave A Comment | 15 people already have
Simone, no midnite wakies=no water bottles!!! Just bees sure to eat everythings yous can b4 they goes to bed!!!
Simone, clearly your mommy is possessed by a demon of some kind and needs an exorcism. It must have happened the day before she put you on a diet. Sadly, Tink
Oh No...Not the Squirt bottle! There are several of those placed strategically around our house...they serve as a constant reminder of the consequences of badness.....Try and be good! Maybe Mom can save a portion of your food to give you before bedtime. Purrs, Maedia
There are some of those naughty squirty bottles around my den, too...woe is me when I get wetted by the stream from one of them, why they can reach across a room...we should have a ban on these torture devices!
MOL about the drama queen stuff, though...we are boys I don't know how that is, though once upon a long time ago there was a drama queen diva living here when we got here as babies...but she was sick, so we thought it was normal!
Meowmy what is a diva? What is a drama queen?
Pipo sends you his 'condolences', too, MOL!
O, Simone yous poor Kitty!! I's a talker too & I's like to wake my Pawrents up when I's think theys shouldn't be sleeping, hehe!! Theys try to ignore me so I's get louder & louder!! I's get squirted every once in awhile but like yous I's usually a good girl!! I's hope yous forgive your Mommy furrry soon cuz shes luvs you furrry much!!
Congrats on being a diary pick today
! It's too bad our parents can't appreciate our beautiful voices at night isn't it? You and your mom are a great team so don't leave home.
Mommy did that to me for awhile cause I was tearing up her furniture! Sheesh! Poor Moe Moe, I'm calling the FBI, the CIA, the alien task force (huh?). MOL.
Hey Maedia! Where ya been girl? Haven't seen you in ages!
A very little bit of Nom Noms? That is never OK. Does she think you're a mouse? Moe Moe, I'll trade you. You can move in here and I'll send Mietzi to live with your Mom. I need a Mietzi break for a while. Mietzi thinks everything is about her. She can be a bad cat too. Mietzi gets locked in the laundry room for a little while sometimes when she tries to wake Mom up way too early.
Lacey, I think the Feline Bureau of Investigation would be very interested in the case. You know what my Mom just said? "Good thing that I don't live with Siamese." But Mom, we love Meezers.
I hope your mommy gives you more nom noms then you won't make her mad at you.
Oh poor Moe Moe!! I think your mommy must have been very cranky to have sprayed you! How pawful!! Here's what you should do next time....go into the bathroom and pull as much toilet paper off the roll as you can get. Unrolling that TP really helps relieve the stress these humans cause us! ;) Then if you are still upset, try knocking things off counters. I find the crash noise very soothing to my injured ego! MOL!
Do you know what MY mommy does when I'm being "naughty"? She blows in my face! Eewww! That yucky human breath in my face...just pawful.
I think it was quite nice for you to forgive your mommy. Oops, I gotta go, my mom is starting to read over my shoulder!! Shhh! Don't tell her what I said!!
Whaz a squirts bottle?
You're on a d-i-e-t? I didn't know that. No wonder you were hungry for nom noms. I feel for you Simone! Purrs
A squirt bottle in the FACE? Be quiet, I don't want my humans getting any bad ideas!
oh my stars girl do you know a cattorney? does your mom know what a law suit is...and no, it's so not like a leisure suit....you know girl, if you can get to shore, my yacht will be more than happy to pick you up and you can rest easy in trout towne for a bit, and if the stupid boys get on our last nerve we will just jet set to paris and shop !!!! hugs girl from dai$y
Oh Moe Moe that is just dreadful how could she, really I am at a loss for words, she seems like such a good caring human she makes all those lovely lovely toys for the kitties but you say she hurt you? Two very different personalities in there. Please try and stay on her good side, I have seen my "bad" mom with the water bottle (shutters) and oooh it is not pretty.
Stay safe girl and grab some of River's nom noms at meal time.