April 17th 2012 1:52 pm
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My BF "Vernie" and I cweated a pwlay adaptayshuwn foh Da Wittowl Wed Skool Haus' wendishuwn of "Da 12 Days of Cwistmas". It was a wundowefuwl and FUN success (and CWAZIE! humpf!), and we have AWL owowe cwassmates to thank foh deowe mastuwefuwl acting and singing abiwitees and hawd hawd wowk. :) Below, is my accounting of what happened on owowe Opening Day. BOL
“Da 12 Days of Cwistmas Foo-Foos” -- A Cwistmas Cawwowle Spectaculowe
(all photos courtesy of awr gweat Pawtogwaphowe…Vernie’s Momma! – Tank yew!!)
Bailey has asked me if I wud wite an awticowle bout da Cwistmas Speshuwl I diwwected at Skool. ***In the background, Sedona can hear her Momma loudly warning her not to be critical of her little Fur Friends when describing the events that took place leading up to, and on the day of, the Xmas Special performance. Afterall, they all did their very best, and that is what should count!***
Not be cwiticawl? Is she kidding? Weewee? How am I posed to wite a factual awticowl if my paws awr tied? Humpf! I guess my Momma spects me to wite a Faiwee Tale! Fine! Humpf!
“Once upon a time”, at da Wittowl Wed Skool Haus, deowe was a sweet wittowl Shih Tzu subteetoot teachowe named Sedona, who had a cwass fuwl of good, obedient, smawt, wubbwee dwaaaaamah stoodints, who pawfowmed in da Cwistmas Speshuwl exactwee as dey weowe diwwected to do……….NOT! NOT NOT NOT, Momma! Humpf! I not gonna candy coat da twuth, missy! Humpf!
And thus begins my woefuwl tale of….
Da 12 Days of Cwistmas Foo-Foos--
It awl stawted out as a gweat idea. See? I was famous now, aftoe my gweat awticowl foh STaFU , “Da Awt of da Foo-Foo”, orh so dat wiley wittowl Bailey said. She filled my head wif BIG ideas of being wich and famus! Ohr..at weast dat’s wat I got out of it. Humpf! I dweamed of my name in BIG BWITE WITES! Nuffing cud stop me. So, I decided to stawr in my vewwee own Cwistmas moovie! Unfowtunatewwee, we wan out of time foh pwoductshun by da howwidays, so I entowed us in a Cwistmas Cawwole Singing Speshuwl, instead. Seemed weewee easy at dat time: Just pick a Cwistmas song to sing, and sing it wif GWEAT dwamatic pwesense! Easy, wite? …..HUMPF!
Being da sweet, kind, innocent, wubbwee wittowl Shih Tzu dat I am, I decided to wet my cwass shaowe in da Woad to Fame, foh yew see, I am da SubTeeToot Teachowe foh Miss Cwissy, at da Wittowl Wed Skool Haus at Miss Dixie Monroe’s DixieWande!
I picked da pawfect song foh us to sing: “Da 12 Days of Cwistmas”, cuz it is one of my momma’s fabowite Cwistmas Cawowles. But nevowe wanting to get wost in da cwowd, I decided to make da song “my own”, just wike dey say to do on Amewican Idowle! I aptwee named my song “Da 12 Days of Cwistmas Foo-Foos”.
I asked each Fuw to sign up next to Days 3-12 (cuz I pwee-picked da Fuws foh Days 1 & 2). And I gabe dem da lywwiks foh da weefwain:
“On da _____ day of Cwistmas, Sedona gabe to meeeeeeeee…..”
Awl dey den had to do, was pick da lywwicks foh da next pawt. Da lywwicks had to descwibe something dat had to do wif Foo-Foos! EASY! Wite? …NO! humpf!
Getting 12 wittowl deewinquents, uhm, I mean “stoodints” to wisten to dwama diwectshuwn is a pwitty impossibowl feat, as I was soon to luhwn.
*rolls her big eyeballs, and then snorts out a little snotty bubble out of her little nose* Wots of da Fuws twied to get out of picking a Foo-Foo tweatment. Dey cheatowes. Humpf! Bailey was da wowst. She picked “4 Diamond Collowes”! How is dat a Foo-Foo “tweatment”? I hab been wanting to Foo-Foo dat pawfectwee fwuffy, pwitty snow white pup foh a wong wong time now, and she steel managed to get out of it! Technicawee, yew see, pup collowes AWR gibben as pawt of da Foo-Foo wahdwobe, so I cuddent say dat she cuddent pick doze lywwicks. Bailey is toooooo much of a smawty pants, and soon to be a big lawyowe. *rolls eyeballs*
Our big day was to take pwace at da Metwopowitan Opewa House in NYC, on Dec 23. We had been pwactising awl monf foh dis day, and weowl….we weewee needed at weast one whole yeowe to pwactice, not just one monf! Humpf! Becuz dis Speshuwl ony wasting a few hours (NOT a few days!), I decided dat we bettowe just pawfowm da WAST vewse of da song, beginning wif Day 12 – and wowking down to Day 1. ONY Day 12 wud need to sing bofe da weefwain and deowe lywwiks. Ebweebodies ewlse ony had to sing just deowe lywwicks – and to sing wif BIG DWAAAAMAHHH! (NO weefwains foh days 11-1). Seems eazee….. wite?! Humpf!
Da BIG Day—
Wen we awwibed at da Metwopowitan Opewa, AWL da Fuws wew wunning awound scweaming and getting nehvus, and Bailey was asking foh twanquilizowes! And den she gwabbed a bag and stawted to hypoweventiwate! Den, normally good Bailey who now is Cwazee Bailey, decides she has to go potty ebwee second, wite befowe we go on stage! HUMPF! Den (as if deowe not enuff “dens”!)….we made da mistake of wooking undowe da cuwtain wite befowe we wew to go on stage…OMD!
DON'T WOOK! DON'T WOOK!
Showtly deoweaftowe, Momo (Day 6 )….faints! Den, Patwick AND Caspowe, Days 1 & 2, confused and dazed wif stage fwight, stawt singing deowe pawts backstage!!! – tinking dey alweady ON stage! OH BWUDDOWE!
Weowl, we got on stage and weowl…I hab NO wowds to descwibe wat happened, cept to say dat if yew wook up da phwaze “WUNNING AMMUCK” in da dixshuwnaywee, yew gonna see a BIG pic of my Cwass! Humpf!
So, wiffout fuddowe addooooooo, I now gib yew a view at awr pawfowmance ….in da owdowe in wich deeze wittowl cwiminawls, uhm, I mean, “stoodints” pawfowmed da song…..in oddowe wowds, in da WONG OWDOWE! Humpf! Yew can wead da twanscwipt of da pawfowmance at da Skool, beginning on page 1197 – if yew bwave enuff! BOL!
And now foh yew viewing pweashuwe….humpf!
I walked up to da Conductowe’s podium, scissowes in hand, weady to lead my Dwaamah Cwass to Fame & Fowtune, ohw at weast to just get us thwew dis Speshuwl:
Sedona is da conductor for our Kissmiss special
(wait for animation to woad, pwease!)
I was post to stawted off da pawfowmance by singing a wuvwee poem dat my boyfwend (and Sistant) “Vernie”, wote foh me, BUT pushy wittowl cutie pie Goodie-Goodie Two Shoes “I Now WUV Da Stage” Patwick…who nevowe wants to make any mistakes, decides he needs to sing his pawt again…. NOW….ON STAGE….befowe I eben get my song out! HUMPF! I tink I hab cweated a stage hog in da wittowl Scottish Highwand Tewwiowe…! Notice da cuwlowes in Patwick’s haeowe? Weowl, dat happened cuz I dint hab time to finish his wawdwobe due to awl da cwaziness backstage.
On Da Fuwst Day of Cwistmas
I just stood deowe dumbfounded, yet twying to wook wike ebweeting’s just peachy. HUMPF! And den…aftowe Patwick, “Mr I dunt wanna be weft out of dis Speshuwl, derefowe I’ll just sing MY pawt whenebbowe I feeowl wike it” was finished wif Day 1’s pawt, I pwoceeded to sing MY song. Unfowtoonatewee, nobodies in da audience paid tenshuwn to it due to da chaos on da stage! OMD! Humpf!
I, as da conductowe, steel pweetended as best I cud, dat ebweeting was just going fine and in da owdowe it was post to be in. Scissowes in my wittowl paws…twying to fight da uwge to STWIKE one of my stoodints, I twied to ignowe da fact dat NO BODIES in my Cwass knows how to count! NO BODIES wew singing deowe pawt! Ebweebodies was just in a wine, standing deowe wif deowe paws ovowe deowe mouths…shivvowing! Dat is cept foh Bailey, who was wowweed dat her mascawa was wunning! OMD..humpf! It was just ….unbeeweevabowl.! Fuws wew talking to each oddowe duwing da pawfowmance!. *gulp* And, ebweebodies (incwuding Fuw famiwee membowes) wew saying “Hi!” to one anuddowe on stage!. *gulp* Den…Loki stawted walking awound nekkid! He was posed to weowe a bathing suit foh his pawt, but I dunt know wat happened! Den…Lulu (Day 7) BLUWTS out, wanting to know IF it’s heh tuwn yet. NO LULU…we haben’t got past Day 1, yet! Humpf! *grumble grumble* Meanwhile, Bogie stawts cwapping aftowe I finish singing my song…but….ony da audience posed to cwap…NOT da Actowes! Den, Vernie tewls me to sing my song…again, so dat ebweebodies who missed it, can see it. OMD! Den, Loki stawts passing awound some beef jewkey to Bambi, and Hawley stawts fliwting wif Bailey! ??? Den Caspowe FWIES up ovowe da stage, and stawts spwinkling Angeowl Dust ovowe ebweebodies in da audience. DEN….Vernie tewls wittowl Stage Hogwett Patwick, to go and sing his pawt…AGAIN, whiole doing an Iwish Jig! OMD! Is dis a dweam?
Finawee. An howowe waytowe, Caspowe (Day 2) goes up and sings his pawt! ONE HOWOWE WAYTOWE! Humpf!
On Da 2nd Day of Cwistmas
Hey?! Anybodies noticing dat we posed to hab sang da WAST vewse of da song, beginning wif Day 12 (Vernie!)….and ending wif Day 1 (Patwick!), but dat instead we doing it AWL backwawds? !!
And so on and on and on it went. Patwick kept singing his pawt ovowe and ovowe, and Bailey was getting a wittowl bit jealous, BOL! And den Bambi stawted kissing one of da Fuws – I can’t weemembowe whom. And …ebweebodies just stawted doing deowe own ting!! ….And deowe I stood…in shock….just moofing my wittowl sheeowes back and fowth, pweetending to be conducting dis cwazey gwoup of stoodints…. ebweebodies was singing out of tuwn and wunning about wike wittowl chickens wif deowe heads cut off, whiole on stage! OMD. At one point, Hawley, seeing how cwazey tings weowe going wif da song, stawted to DANCE foh no weason…tinking dat he cud cweate a divushuwn foh da audience! OMD…humpf! Tanks a wot, Hawley! *Sedona throws her paws up in the air, in exhasperation* I beeweeve awr Cwistmas song took bout THWEE howowes to finish! OMD!
Weelibbing da whole expeeweence is a wittowl too much foh me to beowe wite now, so I just gonna post da Pawtogwaphs dat Vernie’s Momma took of awl of us, and I gonna post dem in owdowe dey wew posed to be in -- fwom Day 12 -1; and I NOT incwuding awl da mistakes da Fuws made awong da way. Dat wud take monfs foh me to detaiwl. BOL!
Dis, how” Da 12 Days of Cwistmas Foo-Foos” was posed to hab been sung….
(wait for animation to woad, pwease!)
On da twelfth day….
(wait for animation to woad, pwease!)
My boyfwend and Sistant,Vernie, in WOTS of twubbowls! He dint ebben get da lywwiks wite foh da weefwain! OMD! Humpf! But wook at him ZOOM! BOL!
On da Elebenf Day….
Miss Dixie! OMD! I know she gone thwew a WOT and she a fightowe, but…. She NOT posed to be a Ninja Wawwiowe wif doze sheeowes! BOL!
On Da Tenf Day…
Fank goodness foh puppies! Fwosty did GWEAT! Wook at his cutie pie Foo-Foo’d toes! Awwwwwwww!
On Da Ninef Day…
Oh bwuddowe! Dat cutie pie Bambi bwew most of da pwops wite off da stage wif doze bwowe dwyowes! Humpf!
On Da Eight Day …
hmmmmmm? Hoses foh a Foo-Foo? Maybe dat’s not such a bad idea! BOL!
On Da Sevenf Day…
(wait foh animation, pwease!)
OMD! Dat wittowl cutie pie Lulu is a wiley one, too! She posed to sing “7 soapy sudsings!”….not “siwwee sudsings!”. My sudsings awr not siwwee! Humpf!
On Da Sixf Day…
Ahhhhh, cutie pie Momo! He’s such a good boy pup! He WUV’d his massagee!!! BOL!
On Da Fif Day…..
(wait for animation to woad, pwease!)
Wittowl cutie pie Loki did so good in his pwactices! He always sang wif such DWAAAMMAAAAAH! BOL!
On Da Fourf Day….
HUMPF! Wat happened wif Bailey!?! She usuawee such a good guwl pup, but foh dis Cwistmas Speshuwl, oh bwuddowe! Wat a Miss Painey! She ate and ate and ate doze snackies! I twied to tewl herh to exocize and diet, but she wuddent wisten! So, wen it was time foh da pawfowmance, she cuddent fit into hew 4 Diamond Collowes! She had to cawwee dem in herh paws! Humpf! Serbs herh wite foh getting out of a Foo-Foo Tweatment! BOL! (btw, Miss Lawyowe Smawty Pants is weading a Cwass Actshuwn Suit against “Unwanted Foo-Foos”!, but dats foh anuddowe awticowle! Humpf!
On Da Thiwd Day…
Hawley cutie pie, awong wif Bailey and Patwick, is usuawee such a goodie goodie pup. And tankfuwee, he was steel good in dis Speshuwl (unwike Patwick and Bailey! Humpf!).
On Da Second Day of Cwistmas....
Awwwwwwww, cutie pie pweshus Caspowe! We miss yew so much, but we so gwad he can steel be pawt of awr Cwass! He did a gweat job in dis Cwistmas Speshuwl, ebben if he did insuwt his own songs and lywwicks and music into his pawt duwwing pwactices! BOL! …but in da actual ebbent, he was gwande! Awwwwww!
On Da Fuwst Day of Cwistmas...again and again and again!.
Oh, now isn’t dis speshuwl? Humpf!
Mr wittowl “I tink I’ll just sing my Day 1 pawt anytime I want to, which is befowe and aftowe ebweebodies ewlse’s pawt!!”…. HUMPF!
I dunt know wat got into “usuawee GOODIE goodie boy Patwick”, but I tink he tinks da numboweing system goes wike dis: 1, 2, 1, 3, 1, 4, 1, 5, 1, 6, 1…..1, 1. 1, 1! Humpf! I tink da stage got to his wittowl white fluffy pawfect cutie pie head! BOL! *snorts out a little bubble out of her little nose* I tink I gonna hab to teach weemeediawl wifmatic dis yeowe in skool!
At weast ebweebodies DID get deowe spewling and dictshuwn cowwectwee! I dunt tink I huwd any of doze stwange “R” and “r” wettowes….but dat ony cuz I thweatened dem AWL wif a BIG FOO FOO if dey used dem!
So, deowe yew hab it! Dis one Cwistmas Speshuwl dat will wiv in infamy!
I dunt tink we gonna win any Cademee Wawds foh dis one, unwess it’s foh Best Comedy! Humpf! But wike Momma said…I guess awl dat mattowes is dat we had FUN…and dat, we did!
Happy New Yeowes, Ebweebodies!
April 17th 2012 1:45 pm
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Da Awrt Of Da Foo-Foo!
Bailey was kind enough to ask me to wite an awticol foh da gwoup, wegawding my vast expoteese on gibbing Faboowus Foo-Foo’s to da Furs on Dogstowe. Whiowle it wud be impossibowl foh me to cubbowe such a vast topic in one wittowl awticowl, I weowl at weast attempt to cubbowe da Foo-Foo Basics foh yew. Ebweeting I hab wurned bout da Foo-Foo, I hab wurned fwom my Foo-Foo’ing Momma.
When it comes to da Foo, dere awre two camps: da Foo-Foo’ewrs, and da Foo-Foo’ees! I much waddowe be a Foo’ewr, cuz I weally NOT so happy wen my Momma Foo-Foo’s me. Humpf! I go awong wif it, but it’s not my fabowite ting to hab dun to me. So, da moh time I spend gibbing Foo-Foos to uddowe Fuwrs --- da WESS time I hab to weeceeve a Foo-Foo fwom my momma. See? I got a pwan!
To be cwear, I am not just a “pet gwoomowe”! I am a “Foo-Foo Awteeste”!
Yew cant wush awrt! I guess my Momma an Awteeste too, cuz beeweeve me, she takes a WONG WONG time to do my Foo-Foo’s! As a Foo-Foo Awteeste, yewr numbowe one tool is yewr Cweatibity! Dunt wowwee bout wat da cwient wants cuz most wikewee wat dey weewee want is just to get away fwom yew and WUN home! BOL!
Ok, so heowe awre da basic steps to gibbing a Fabuwus Foo-Foo Sawwon Servis:
Fuwrst, find a pawfect victim, errr. I mean Foo-Foo Cwient! Usuawee, da easiest cwients to get, awre da unsuspecting ones, who awre just wying awound, minding dewre own wittowl bizzniss when yew NAB dem! Sometimes, yew’ll hab willing cwients:
AL's Foo Foo
But mohr dan wikewee, yew’ll hab Fuwrs da need some convincing! Case in point, Ciao-Li, a kool boy kittykat at Miss Cwissy’s Wittowl Wed Skool Haus. Wet’s just say dat Ciao-Li was not vewy weowling in da beginning – orh at any time thwewout da Foo-Foo pwocess, actuawee as I weecawl. BOL!
Ciao-Li has some reservations about getting a Foo-Foo
But as a Foo-Foo Pwofesshunawl, yew must wurn to just ignowe dere cwies, uhm, I mean…yew must wurn to be sensatib to dere feeowlings and simpwee twy to persuade yewr cwients dat a Foo-Foo is a vewy vewy good ting! (thumbs up) At weast dats wat my Foo-Foo’ing Momma tewls me ebweetime I twy to wun away fwom her Foos! It’s veowee impowtant to hab wots of tweats and dwinks and food foh yewr cwient. A fuwl tummy weads to a happy and sweepee Fuwr, and dat a good ting. Da sweepiowe dey awre, da wess wikewee dey can wun away! Mood Wighting (aka dim wighting) is good too – yew dunt weewee want da Fuwr Cwient to see awl da bottowls and bottowls and bottowls of stuffs yewr gonna use on dem cuz dey weowl get scayowed, bol, so tuwn down dose wights! Twy to keep yewr Fuwr cwient as comfy as possibowl Gib dem a nice wong book to weed. I tink Bailey once gabe one of my cwients “War & Peace” to wead, but da cwient actuawwee finished it halfway thwew da Foo-Foo! BOL
Da Awt of da Cweansing Shampoo:
Dis is an impowtant step! Make shuwe yew always hab enuff bubbowls in da tub! Use at weast 1 bottowl of shampoo per cwient, eben if he weewee tiny (biggowe fuwrs or wen Foo’ing multiple fuwrs at once, might need 2 bottowls)…yew can nebbowe hab enuf suds! Thwow in a few baf toys into da tub, to keep yewr cwient occupied. ORH, just put some coocumbowe swices ovoh dere eyebawls as a Spa Tweatment. As yew can see in dis pictchowe, some pups wike cutie pie Dizzy, WUV da Foo. Wheoweas oddowe pups wike Hawley…uhm, not so much! BOL!
Dizzy and Hawley Hab Diffwent Views of da Foo-Foo!
Just keep in mind dat some wittowl piggwet-hungwee Fuwrs might EAT da coocumbowes, instead! BOL! So hab WOTS of coocumbowe swices availabowl Now, dis shampoo is NOT to be confoosed wif da Colowe Shampoo Phase…dat comes wayter, …about an houwr or so wayter! Weemembowe, yew cannot wush da Foo! Humpf! It takes time….. Dis fuwrst shampoo phase is just to cwean da cwient. Weeve da cwient soaking in da tub for a wittowl bit -- about an houwr or two. But twy not to weave dem in wongowe dan dat, orh DIS might happen eben to a fuwr who had WOTS of haeowe going in!:
Caspowe Soaked a Wittowl Bit TOO Wong! OMD!
Yeah, uhm, errr…so dat was not so good.
I fowgot awl bout wittowl Aussie cutie pie Caspowe, and weft him in da tub obowenight! In my defense, we wer at Summowe Camp and weowl…tings happen…humpf! Da good news is dat it’s ony fuwr…it’ll gwow back. In time….. Pwease, dunt foweget to winse weowl!
Afto da cweansing baf, some fuwrs may need a Coloweing Shampoo Tweatment!
Da Wule foh Colowe is dat fuwrst yew put da colowe in, den yew mite hab to take some of da colowe out,… befowe yew put some moh of anuddowe colowe back in! Hewe yew can see wittowl cutie pie Bwack & White Shih Tzu “AL” duwing his Highwiting Tweetment Soak.
Highlights means yew got to take da colowe OUT! humpf!
Uhm, wet’s just say dat AL needed a WOT of colowe put back IN, afto dis pwocess.
AL Gibs a NEW Meaning to "Snow White"! BOL!
Yeah, so, uhm ….moving on…!
Den dere awre sometimes wen yew might hab to do wat we cawl a “Colowe Cowwectshun” – which is wat yew need to do wen yew put da WRONG colowe in and out and in again! BOL I find I hab quite a bit of dese to do foh some weason…hmmmm….
Oooops LP! I Dint Know Dat Was Bwack Shampoo! BOL
Da point is…colowe takes time, so dunt wet da cwient wush da pwocess! Weemembowe, YEW da Awteeste!
IF yewr cwient gets fidgetee, weowl, just gib dem some moh snackies and dwinks. Humpf! Colowe can take a Fuwr fwom owdinawwee, to extwhoadanawee! Case in point, WOOK at cutie pie Pepe’s befowe and afto!
Aussie cutie pie Pepe (Caspowe’s bwuddowe) was in a wock band, but his wook dint match da image he needed to powtway. Shuwe….he was cute and white and fwuffy, but he needed some PISAZZZZZ! But aftoh my Foo-Foo? He wooked wike a piszazzee fabuwus Wock Stawr! Ok, so I pwobabwee cud hab weft off da TopKnot Bow…but I a Shih Tzu, it’s engwained in me, no mattowe wat bweed I wowk on!
Wock On, Pepe!
He eben pwocwaimed his new Do, da “Technakolowe Dweam Dog Coat”! BOL! He took wat might hab gibben oddowe Fuwrs a scayowe, and tuwned it instead into a GWEAT wock stawr caweeowe! He went on a Wock Consewrt Tour wif his band, awl obowe his native Austwailia! See? Any Foo-Foo disastowe can be tuwned into a miwacowl, if yew just keep an open mind. Humpf Winse weowl!
Afto da colowe pwocess is finished, it’s time do a Pwoteen Deep Conditioning Tweatment. Dis gonna weepayowe any damaged coat aweas and add volume and stwength to da haeowe stwands. We always stawt wif dis type of condishonowe tweatment. I wike to wet da cwient soak forh about an houwr or two. Gib dem moh tweats and dwinks and pwop some coocumbowes on dere eyes again to make dem weewax a bit. At summowe camp, I had to FOO-FOO da fuwrs in da fishing pond…..dat dint wowk out so weowl forh da fishies, so I wunt wecommend it. Twy to awlways Foo-Foo in an appwopweeit Spa Tub. Yew can put a nice comfy piwwow in dere so yewr cwient can weewax whiole da condishunowe wowking. Winse weowl.
Da next step is yew need to do a Moistuwizing Condishunowe!
Dis NOT da same as da Pwoteen Tweatment, so dunt wet yew cwient pwotest too much. Humpf! If yew dunt do dis step, da haeowe gonna be too bwittowl and dwie! So, use a vewy deep moistuwizing pwoduct to put da moistuwe back in da haeowe. Appwie da moistuwizing condishunowe and weeve it on da cwient foh anuddowe hour orh so. Winse weowl!
At dis point, yewr victim, uhm…CWIENT, might twy to escape..so be pweepayowed!
First, dey twye dis:
AL, Twying to Hide by Bwending in Wif Da Squeakie Toys! BOL!
Den…..dey twy DIS! BOL!:
Yew Shuwe Do WUN Fast, AL! Get Back Heowe! humpf!
WUN aftoh yewr cwient and bwing dem back to da tub. Gib MOH tweats and MOH dwinks and MOH coocumbowes! Being a weewucktent Foo-Foo’ee myself, I know AWL da twicks of how to twy to escape da Foo, so none of my cwients can evoh puwl dat one on me! Humpf! BOL Expwain how good da Foo-Foo is foh dem and say how sowwee yew awre dat dey not so happy, but dat da Foo is foh dere own good (just wike yewr Momma tewls yew!). If awl ewlse fails, tewl dem dat if dey stay out of da tub foh too wong, yew’ll need to stawt da entiowe Foo-Foo ovowe, fwom da beginning! Humpf! Dat usuawee gets da Fuwr to compwie vewwee quickwee! bol
Afto da Moistuwizing Condishunowe, yew do da Hot Oil Tweatment. Dis gonna seal da moistuwe IN. Appwie a few viowls of pwoduct onta da haeowe. Massage it in. Wap dere bodies in a BIG fwuffy towel, and wet dem weewax foh bout…an hour or two. Winse weowl! Yew can eben gib dem a Faciawl Tweetment and Massage while dey wait foh da Hot Oil Tweetment to soak in.
Dizzy -- Weelaxing and Enjoying His Foo-Foo!
da next step is da DWYEING!
Now, dere are WOTS of diffwent ways to do dis. Sometimes I use a haeowe dwyowe, but den one time I hung cutie pie Hawley on a cwothes wine to dwy in da sun cuz I was gibbing a “Gween Eawth-Fwiendwee” type of Foo-Foo. Pwus, he said he taught bwowe dwyowes were TOO shi-shi-foo-foo-girly-girly. He taught dwying in Natuwe wud be moh manwee…. …yeah, dat din’t go so weowl. BOL
Fowget Twying to Go Gween! Use a wegolowe haeowe dwyewr instead!
So always twy to go wif da good ole haeowe dyowe mefod! bol. Afto da dwying, yewr cwient most wikewee is so exhausted dat dey awre now sweeping foh da weemaindowe of da Foo-Foo, and pwobabwee into da entiowe week! BOL! A sweepy cwient is da BEST cwient!
Afto da haeowe dwying, comes da Haeowe Stylewing
LP, Stylin' in Curlowes
Be cweatib! Don’t wet da Fuwr’s bweed, or eben dere species, wimit yewr deezign vision! Dis VEWY impotant! Dewre awre Poodowle Gwooming Competishuns, wheowe da pup ends up wooking wike a tuwtowl, orh a camowl, orh a buffawowe! And dey WIN wots of pwizes foh da MOST cweatif weesuwlt! So…wet yewr imaginashun wun fwee! (dancing snoopies). Twy to envishun wat type of animawl yew’d wike yewr cwient to wook wike. Use dere personawitee as inspuwashun, but in da end…YEW deecide dere fate….uhm, I mean, dere Foo-Foo end weesuwlt! In my Foo Foo Spa, pups come in, and weave as kitties sometimes! BOL! Fow exampowl, wittowl cutie pie Dizzy, on his wast appointment, got something VEWY GRRRRREAT! Bol Bailey said I was cweatib, and Dizzy said he wanted something “wild” since we were awl at Summowe Skool Camp, so I gabe him a WION CUT! Weemembowe, if dere’s not enuff haeowe dere natuwally to bwing yewr deezine to wife, haeowe extenshuns awre yewr fwend! BOL! Vernie, my Sistant, cowwabowated wif me on dis Foo-Foo at Summowe Camp.
Dizzy Gets a Lion Cut
But most of da time I keep my stylwing deezine vision in da same species as my cwient, dtho warewee as da same bweed! Alabastowe (aka AL) is a cutie pie wittowl bwack and white Shih Tzu. Ohr, at weast he was unteel I gabe him a wittowl too much Foo-Foo Volumizing Mist! Furdowemowe, I steel had not purrfected my cutting technique yet! Dere is a wurning curb, yew know! Humpf!
AL -- Shih Tzu to Peke? OMD
BOL Orh at da vewy weast, an old cwient weowl always weeve my Sawon as a MUCH youngowe vewshun of demselbs. Fowe sampowl, a male yorkie once came in and ended up weeving as a wittowl cutie pie girly girl pup: See? One’s Foo-Foo Cweatibitee can be da gift of da Founten of Youf! Always make shuwe to use extweeme caushun wen using any sheawes to cut da haeowe. I ony use wrounded point ones, so I nevoh huwt my vewy squiglee squrwmee cwients.
Da Awt of da Topknot & da Awt of da Fwaygwance Spway, are da wast wittowl steps of da Foo-Foo! Always hab WOTS and WOTS and WOTS of pwitty haeowe bows in yewr Foo-Foo cowwectshun! Dunt wowwee if yewr cwient is of a species, orh a bweed, dat dunt usuawee hab a topknot! Again, yewr ownwee wimited by yewr cweatibitee, so CWEATE anyting yew want on any fuwr yew wike! If da fuwr has weawwee showt haeowe, dunt wowwee….deres always haeowe extenshuns! BOL! Da possibiwities awre wimitwess! And dunt wet da boy fuwrs twy to tewl yew dat dey don’t weowe topknots! Bwah bwah bwah! Humpf! ….WOOK! Da boys awlways come out wooking SO cute! BOL! Dunt fowget to SPWITZ spwitz SpWiTz some Eau de Foo-Foo befowe yew finish da Fur!
AL and his Fwend Get Foo-Foo'd! BOL
See? I took ages off of wittowl AL, and eben his yucky wizard wooks CUTE now aftoh da Foo!! BOL! He eben smewled good! BOL!
Sometimes da Foo-Foo can be used as a rewawd to good pups and kitties. And den dere awre times yew can use da Power of da Foo-Foo to teach naughty pups and kitties a wittowl wesson. Case in point: as I weecawl…wittowl Ciao-Li, da handsome male kittykat in my cwass at skool, made a smawty pants comment bout my momma’s Foo-Foos dat she did to some fuwrs in my cwass. Weowl….dat dint end up so good for Ciao Li, but it was good forh me! BOL! He actuawee weft my Foo-Foo Spa as a wittowl cutie pie, girly gurl PINK tinted kitten! BOL! Ciao_li nevoh made anuddowe cwiticawl comment afto dat. BOL! So, nevoh be afwaid to expeeweement wif da poweowe of da Colowe Foo-Foo!
Ciao Li -- Pwitty In Pink BOL
What yew cweate foh yewr cwient awl depends on da day and da mood and weewwee on wat suppwies yew hab in yewr Foo-Foo Suppwie Cwoset! Da point is….BE CWEATIF! And hab FUN (cuz da twuth is most of yewr cwients NOT gonna be habbing much fun at awl, so yew at weast hab to!).
Finawwee, IF yew evoh hab an unhappy cwient, dunt wowwee!
Dewre’s an easy fix!
Simpwee tewl yewr cwient dat if dey NOT 100% happy wif dere Foo-Foo, yew’d be moh dan gwad to we-doo da whole, entiowe, 12 – 16 houwr Foo-Foo pwocess awl obowe again foh dem, no pwobwem! BOL! I guawantee yewr cwient gonna stawt shouting dat “Oh! Dat’s OK! I WUV my Foo-Foo! No pwobwem! No need forh a Wee-Doo-Foo-Foo! I’m good! YUP..it’s da BEST Foo-Foo I evoh got! Tanks a miwwion! See yew waytowe! Tanks a wot! Yew did gweat!....” – and dey’ll say dis awl as dey’re WUNNING away as fast as dere wittowl cute wegs can take dem! BOL!
See? Da Awte of da Foo-Foo Technique weowl always pwoduce a happy fuwr cwient! Gahwonteed!
~Sedona, da Mastowe Foo-Foo’er to da Dogstowe Fuwrs!
***note from typist: uhm? Let us all please remember to never, ever, everrrrrrr do any of these so-called Foo-Foo processes as directed here by Sedona…to any Fur…or any other living creature for that matter!! Never….EVER! LoL. Seriously…DON’T! lol ***
February 17th 2011 1:01 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]
Imagine my supwize wen I got to Dogstowe dis mowning and saw WOTS and WOTS of pawmails saying "Congwats!", and saw dat I had gotten WOTS of wosettes fwom my fwends! BOL! TANK YEW to EBWEEBODIES foh AWL da wuvly pawmails, messages, wosettes, and pwessies! OMD! WOW!
I weewee cuddent imagine WAT dey wew congwatuwayting me foh...
Was it foh NOT Foo-Foo'ing dem watelee? bol
Was it foh NOT gibbing any homewowk and POP KWIZZES in cwass?
Was it foh gibbing Dr Dizzy's Mr Woy (aka Roy) to "Dwoolio" da Neapolitan Mastiff, aka my new Foo Foo Tent Guardian?
It was foh....being named Dogstowe's DOGGIE OF DA WEEK! woohoo!!
I just cuddent beeweeve my eyebawls wen I wead awl da wuvly messages! AND...my fwend, cutie pie Bailey, said I cud be Dogstowe Doggie of Da Week ..."EMEWEETUS"! ....dat means "fowebbowe and ebbowes"! humpf! (psssssssssssssss! Da Dogstowe Dog dunt know dat I NOT gonna gib up my titowle in a week, but I'll wet him know bout dat waytowe. BOL).
I just SO cited bout weeceebing dis Honowe!
I gonna put my tiawa and staff and thwone and twophy in my woom, awong wif da oddowe ones I hab fwom being da STaFU Doggie of da Monf EMEWEETUS, and da PDCP Doggie of Da Day EMEWEETUS.
***Sedona proudly shows off her spoils***
WOW! What a week dis is!
Fuwst, my BF "Vernie" found my Foo-Foo Tent, aftowe it had been taken by da Foo-Foo Nappowe (humpf! dat wud be da cute, but wiley, wittowl Dr Dizzy!). And Bailey had made me a NEW Foo-Foo Tent, so now I hab TWO of dem! BOL
WOOK AT MY 2 FOO-FOO TENTS! MY BF, VERNIE, MADE DIS PIC FOH ME! BOL
Den, I WON dis gweat awawd fwom Dogstowe. And on Satuwday...it's my BUWFDAY! WOWWEE!!! :)
Bailey made me a pictchowe of my Dogstowe Doggie Of Da Week awawd, AND she baked me dis cutie pie cake! WOOK!
WOOK AT MY AWAWD & CAKE DAT BAILEY MADE FOH ME!
WOOK AT DA AWAWD PICTCHOWE FOWWEST (FORREST) MADE FOH ME!
I'm actuawee a bit amazed dat I won dis Dogstowe Awawd wiffout ebben habbing to thweaten da Dogstowe Dog wif a PINK FOO FOO MAKEOVOWE! BOL! I tink da wast time I did dat was sevwal months ago, wen we weh habbing some twubbowls wif da woesettes on my page. BOL! I sent him a wettowe saying dat if he dint fix my wosettes, weowl, I had NO choice but to gib him a "pwitty PINK BOW Foo-Foo Makeovowe" and post da pics awl ovowe Dogstowe. Needwess to say, my wosettes got fixed wite away. BOL! But dis time...I dint ebben contact him. He just made me Da Dogstowe Doggie of Da Week...awl on his own. :) He SUCH a GOOD doggie!
TANK YEW Dogstowe and Dogstowe Doggie!
I SO happy to be da Dogstowe Doggie of Da Week...EMEWEETUS!
***Sedona wears her tiara with pride***