August 3rd 2012 11:04 pm
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I have been aware of this day approaching for a few weeks now. I celebrated your "Gotcha Day" last week...just like I always have. I woke up yesterday, and I cried for you....with sincerity... I have been blocking out the pain and emptiness for so so long. I can't believe 3 years have passed since you went away....it still hurts like it was yesterday. I dream of you often, and I look to the stars and pray for you quite frequently. Ever since the 4th of July of 2009, just weeks before you had to go, I have been watching these beautiful Chinese Lanterns float by....Every year I go outside and sit and wait....and every year since then , I have seen them go by. I make a wish and say a prayer as each one passes.
Things are so different now, yet still the same. We had each other for such a short time, yet it feels as though I had you forever. I miss you, I miss Catster, I miss the friends I made because of you.... However, time goes on. Writing to you was the only thing I could do, and it helped me to deal with our loss... I will never understand why we had such a bond, and why I had to lose you so soon. It hurts me so much to think about you, and how sad you were those last few weeks. My little Angel, you were so smart...you knew that you were sick...I could see it in your eyes. I could feel it in your breath...What a lady...you fought as hard as you could, and you held on as long as you were able. I would have done anything if I could have saved you, but there wasn't anything I could do. Amazing how one little sweet cat can come along and change a person forever...I feel as though you were given to me from God for a reason. I pray you are out there somewhere, happy and safe, yet aware of my love for you and how much you meant to me. I have been going through a lot of difficult times since you left, and I know you are aware. It's because of you that I am able to keep fighting...trying hard to move forward. Yes, you...my little girl, taught me so much about life, love, acceptance, and what matters. I wish that I could hold you...just for a second...right now...I miss you so much...I know if I saw you I wouldn't want to let go....I would only pray for more...but if I could have that chance...that one embrace...to know you are okay....then I would cry and cry...yet I would be happy...comforted...knowing that your spirit lives on...knowing that I WILL see you again one day...and we will never again be apart....My heart feels you close....I love you more than words can say...I miss you, Ava, I really do...Please watch over me...especially Andy...and all of the other furs. Deep inside, I know Andy remembers you, and always will. One day, we will all be together again...I pray...I hope....Believing that makes life worth living. Thank you for coming into my life, and making me understand what love really is....Miss you forever....Kisses and Squishes....Mommy
October 18th 2011 10:18 pm
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There's a little black cat...who lives outside my place of work. I watch this cat, from my window, occasionally hunting and catching his prey. I admire that cat, for being on his own, and yet finding the strength, courage, and willingness to survive on his own. I often think about that cat...wonder if I had spotted him as a kitten, if I could have "saved" him. Yet, now that he is grown, I know tha...t the chances of him adapting to a domestic life are slim. I take comfort on those days when I see him taking control of his own life...making it into what he knows as a good life. After all, that's all he does know...how to survive...the instinct is innate...
Yet today, as I left work, after another long and exhausting day...I stopped just before the door. I looked outside, saw the tiny raindrops beginning to fall...the darkness slowly overcoming the light, and the cool breeze coming through the doors. I then pulled my hood over my head, and reached into my purse for my keys. As I made the walk to my car, I was surrounded by silence...and a strange yearning to know where the cat was...if he was okay. I then began to wonder what winter would be like for this cat...alone...on his own...in that large empty field. Suddenly, I stopped. Something made me look out to the field. There, over 100 yards away, was the black cat. Sitting on top of a fence. In the cold rain.
I wanted to go to him, yet I knew from experience that it was no use. I felt sad as I was about to enter my warm and dry car. Then, to my surprise, I noticed the cat was moving. Yes, in the cold rain, he was walking along the top rails of the fence. So gracefully, so full of confidence. Oblivious to the cold, the rain, the darkness surrounding him. He had a will, a will to survive. To carry on with his day, his life...to move forward with out fear or hesitance. It was in this moment that I, too, realized what was possible. That I, like that cat, can keep moving forward, on my own. I too, like that cat, would survive.
October 11th 2011 5:09 pm
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Mommy is in shock...she can't write...but she took Augie to the vet...it was the best decision to help him make his journey...
October 10th 2011 8:26 pm
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Mommy has been having a bad year. Everything is going wrong...and it just keeps getting worse. Please say a purrayer for her...and send some Purrs for Augie, my Dog brofur. He has been suffering from Cushing's Disease for just over a year now. He's very frail...but he's been eating and acting pretty good. He has his bad days; However, he has more good than bad.
UNTIL this weekend. He won't eat his kibble...not since Friday. Last night and all day today, he won't drink his water. He doesn't want to stand up, but he can when forced. He just seems very lethargic, weak, sad...Mommy has tried giving him water and chicken broth with a dropper, but it's not enough. He did eat a hamburger at noon because Mommy wanted him to eat SOMETHING...She doesn't have any money to take him to the vet...so please purr that he gets through this somehow. It's going to be a long night. Kisses to you all, Angel Ava
August 3rd 2011 7:25 pm
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My dear Ava....I can't believe it's been 2 years...I still can't let you go...I miss you so much. I know you are near...I know you see my tears...feel my sadness...I hope you don't get sad too. I am so glad you were a part of my life. I know that I was your REAL Mommy...even though your first 8 years are a mystery. I would give anything to hold you again...to feel your soft fur...your sweet kisses. You were the best hugger! You held on so tight, and gave kisses at the same time. I always knew you had a special soul. Please don't be sad...Mommy will be ok. I know things are falling apart here...but I will find a way out of this mess...No one will take our home from us. I will do whatever it takes to stay here...keep the others safe...and nurture your garden for as long as I can. Please continue to fly free...and I will see you again...I know I will. Love you and miss you, little girl...Forever and always...with all my heart...Love and Kisses, Mommy
July 27th 2011 2:01 pm
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I can't believe it's been almost 2 years since I had to let you go. 4 years ago today, I brought home the most beautiful precious girl I have ever known. You were so happy...you came right of the carrier and immediately greeted the entire family. No separating you...you were home...forever. I just wish your "forever" could have been for more than 2 years. I miss you today as much as I ever have. The pain never lessens, the memories never fade. I dreamed of you last nite. I know you are still with me...and will forever be. Happy Birthday/Gotcha day...I hope you are flying free...and I hope you are thinking of me too. Forever in my heart. Love you always, Mommy
May 11th 2011 7:49 pm
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Mommy is so happy! It's been a while since she's had time to play on Catster like she used to. Imagine her surprise this morning when she saw I was picked as a DDP! It's been really nice reading all of the comments and rosettes. Mommy misses you all so much! She will help me send out Thank You's later....Kisses and Squishes, Ava
May 3rd 2011 4:09 pm
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This is from Andy's diary! Thank you all for your support...and to all of the Angel Kitties who watched over my Andy with me! Kisses, Ava
Yes...it's true! Mommy got the call today! My lump on my leg is a fatty lipoma...NOT cancer! I am gonna be ok! She cried so hard...she was so happy...she NEVER gets good news! Thank you all for your purrs of support! We love you so much! Love, Andy and Mommy Karen
April 26th 2011 6:56 pm
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From Andy's Diary...
Well, I made it thru the dental...THANK you all for the purrs! They work! Now we must wait for the biopsy results from the lump on my leg...but my VET says she doesn't seem too worried because it was in my skin only...not my other parts like muscle and bone, etc. So, keep the purrs coming please till we know for sure! Love you all! Mommy will give more details soon! Love, Andy
Thank you for your purrs and support! Kisses, Ava
April 19th 2011 4:50 pm
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Can I get some purrs for my Andy? He is scheduled for a dental and to have a lump removed from his leg on Tuesday, April 26...Mommy is so worried....I will be watching over my love Andy....Thank you, Kisses, Ava
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