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Through Pounce's Eyes

Hiya furiends. Mommy noticed while sending Christmas gifts not all friends of mine are friends of Hooties. It took mommy some time to figure out why she couldn't find the kitties she was looking for. Then I helped her figure it out. Mommy will not be writing in my diary in the future. If you would like to be furiends with my crazy little sisfur, please send a friend request. Mommy thought this might be the easiest way to straighten out the whole furiend thing. I miss and love you all, and will continue to watch over you and your families.

Love Forever-Angel Pouncey

Hi every fur. I hate to say Hootie has decided to make it clear she is her own kitty and does NOT want a human buddy. She is only a year old though and my hopes are, as she grows older, she will calm down and want more attention. Smokey however, has realized Pouncey is no longer with us. She has planted her roots on Pounces pillow (I was going to move it because it hurts to bad to see another cat on it. I also did not want to be attached to another kitty in that manner. Since Pounce passed away, it is so hard to sleep. The Pillow was a huge bonding ground for my baby girl and me) Smokey is a hard kitty to bond with. She was always a bit touched, but she had a stroke a few years ago which really affected her mental state. She does not look at you when you say her name. She just looks to the left and right. She has a blood spot in her right eye from the stroke. Her lip hangs down and she sometimes drools because of it. Getting to the point, she is just not clear headed. She will rub her head in a thrashing manner on your hand if you hold it still, but she will not let you pet her. Smokey is so different from Pounce. I know no other kitty can replace her, but it is so hard to deal with Smokey. I feel like I do not know what to do with her and she acts as if she does not know what to do with me either. I want the love I had with Pounce so badly. Pounce followed me everywhere, she would lay in bed with me and lick my arm and face, and we plain and simple were glued together at the heart. When she became unglued from me, it unglued my whole world. It is so hard to stop crying when you can actually feel your heart aching in your chest. Yesterday was 3 weeks since she has been gone but it feels like a lifetime. I feel guilty for trying to get closer to Smokey, yet it would not be fair to turn away from her. At the same time, I feel like a traitor to Pounce for baby talking Smokey and trying to pet her as she lays on Pouncey's pillow. I will not allow myself to call her or Hootie baby girl. That was reserved for my Pounce baby girl. I feel so torn and my emotions will not stop bouncing around long enough to sort through any of this. I feel like looking up at the sky and screaming I want her back.

Tonight has been such a tough night. I can't sleep because I miss my baby girl so much. I miss lying in bed with our foreheads together and my Pounce baby purring away. Pounce purred so loud and when I couldn’t sleep, I focused on her purring. That always made me feel so at ease and comforted and I would fall asleep. It was as if she knew it gave me comfort. I miss looking at her with that beautiful little diamond between her eyes. She was more than a buddy to me. I long to pet her; rub my finger up the bridge of her nose. Pounce loved that so much. The more I rubbed her nose and top of her head the louder she purred. I look at her pictures, it makes me so sad, and even though I try my hardest to hold back the tears, they flow despite my efforts. Pounce's shrine rests on my desk because she was always with me there. I sit here at my desk and talk to her. I tell her goodnight before I go to bed and picture her in my mind. I know she is in heaven and healthy again, but I want her back so badly. Even as I write this entry, my eyes well up and I feel so empty and sad. Pounce was a very special one of a kind kitty. It feels like my shattered heart will never be the same again.