Her Royal Fluffinesses Official Cat Dictionary:

Insomnia - The inability to get more than twenty hours sleep in a day.
Loyalty - Staying with the one human for more than six weeks.
Stress - A condition only observed in other creatures.
Bird - Canned food with wings but no can.
Flea - A tiny vicious dragon.
Dog - A large hairy overgrown flea.
Consciousness - That annoying time between naps.
Food - Something which must be taken at 30-minute intervals.
Love - A feeling one can only truly have for oneself.
Box - A possible portal to utopia which must be explored and guarded.
Work - An activity carried out by mankind to maintain catkind in comfort.
Humility - No known definition.

Her Royal Fluffiness once said:

Mathematics of Probability:

The chance of a cat doing anything its human wants it to do
Equals Zero.

Today Her Royal Fluffiness said:

A human bean should never attempt to tell a cat what to do.
She may attempt to get us to do something by begging, bribing, beseeching, sweet-talking, appealing, imploring, flattering even then we will probably just ignore her.

The Royal Scribe Recorded the following Utterance of the- Royal Fluffiness from Her Morning Respite on the Stove:

Cherish your past -
Those Golden Times
When the Ancient Egyptians
Treated your ancestors as Gods.
You too must expect,
Indeed insist upon,
Similar devotion.

Her Royal Fluffiness Wishes to Speak Directly to Her Royal- Subjects:

*As Her Royal Fluffiness makes Her entrance to the Royal Veranda, the Royal Horns play*
Thank you my lovely Royal Subjects one and all. *applause* Today has been a most joyous day for our Queendom. Today, the Catster website has chosen My Royal Thoughts as "pick of the day". *applause* I want to thank you all for your kindness to Myself and to Her Royal Subject the Naughty, BlueBelle. And it's just so much fun on Catster! We love it here! *applause* Where else could My Royal Scribe spend so much time laughing and giggling? (She's also the Royal Court's Jester(don't tell her we told you) and she has the typical poor human bean need to serve Us, bless her heart, so we honoured her with the additional title) Catster's great! Farewell my Loyal Subjects *waves a fuzzy paw* and Royal Sandpaper kisses to you all! *applause and hats flying in the air!*

The Royal Scribe Recorded On This Day, That Her Royal- Fluffiness Uttered the Following words:

Dedicated scratching of wallpaper is the key to all knowledge

Her Royal Fluffiness's Prophecy

When Cats Rule the World

Just as today - Human beans will be our slaves.
Vets will be banned.
Bowls will always be full.
Dogs will be small and fun to chase.
Mice will come in a variety of tastes.
Tin cans will not have lids.
There will be 40 hours in each day to allow more time for sleeping!

Her Royal Fluffiness's Thoughts on Cat Callisthenics:

The best time to perform your workout is 3 am when the house is perfectly quiet and your human bean is comfortably asleep in bed.

Warm up with a few stretches - extending legs fully and retracting them slowly, pulling your claws across the sofa with a comforting rasping sound.

Practise the "Hunt Mouse" routine by chasing a small ball (preferably with bell inside) around the room - be careful to avoid falling vases as you charge frantically over tables and chairs.

Next, stretch each claw in turn as high up the wall as you can possibly reach, leave a mark on the wallpaper as a targfet to beat next time.

Finally sprint at top speed into your human bean's bedroom, leap onto his tummy, relax and drift off to sleep.

Her Royal Fluffiness once said:

Cats shall sleep because it is their sole purpose in life. Humans sleep so that they have the energy to serve us.

Her Royal Fluffiness once said:

To be Fluffy
Or Not
To be Fluffy
THAT is the question............