I Thought for Sure My Momma Was Spayed, But -- Holy Kittens -- She's Pregnant!
OMG guys, maybe you heard it or maybe not, but we are pregnant! I say "we" because empathy is all over the place -- now I understand why I was trying to open my treats at 4 a.m. So my pawrents drop me the boom a week or so ago and I have been very confused ... what does this mean? ... how will MY life change? I'm so mad at my momma obviously she didn't read my spay/neuter column!
You know, I feel like those women in that show I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant In Discovery Health, because I notice some weird stuffs like:
1. My daddy was cleaning my kitty box
I thought, "Hey the man is finally stepping in and helping out with my needs." So now I know that is because the nasty toxoplasmosis but HELLO? I got tested as a baby and I don't have it and not even by mistake I have cross paths with mice. I guess my momma just wanted to take that off her list!
2. Treats cravings
I thought, "Hey this catnip Temptations treats are just too good."
3. My momma's belly was getting bigger
I thought, "Hey maybe she is saying goodbye to all food beFURe getting into the extreme/anorexic wedding diet," or she is just finally thinking of my needs of having a soft big belly fur nap on.
4. Food aversion
I thought, "Hey I think this Licky Stick is rotten," when I'm NEVER EVER picky with my food! If my momma give it to me I eat it!
I thought, "Hey, I'm just too tired fur so much modeling and stuff." Fur be fair how on earth I was going to know that I was sleeping more than normal? I'm a kitty after all!
I guess I was in denial, I mean who wants a baby purrsons bro or sis? Better yet, who wants to SHARE? God needs to FURgive me but NOT ME. I was purrfect having everything fur ME and that everything was about ME. Is he/she going to be annoying? Is he/she going to pull my gorgeous tail? So many questions guys!
Seriously I'm already suffering, my momma makes me jump fur pet me because my dad is always screaming DON'T CROUCH! So that's means extra work fur me, also my momma have been using a AWFUL cream all over ugghh makes me sick guys.
I really hope my pawrents don't get crazy and name the baby like Pilot Inspektor, Apple, Sparrow or even the worst NORTH! Oh that Kim Kardashian really screw her baby daughter FUR life! Anyways I'm really praying fur a BOY because is no way I will share my tutus with anybody ... PERIOD.