Dress Fur Impress
Share this image

The 5 BEST and WORST Dressed at the Oscars (According to a Cat)!

The good was rad red, great hair, and FLUFFY BEAUTY! But the bad was wrinkly satin, engineered ta-tas, and A TIARA!

 |  Mar 1st 2013  |   34 Contributions


Hellooooo guys! How was your week? Mine was really hard because not only did I have a HUGE fashion disappointment at the Oscars, my daddy was in Florida (yes, USA) working fur a week!

I got very upset fur real -- how dare he change my routine?

  • Wake up at 6 a.m. (to make sure he goes to work on time) and get my morning massage.
  • Wait by the door at lunchtime and get my noon massage.
  • Wait by the door at 5:30 p.m. and get my afternoon massage.
  • Dinner, play at my kitty condo with him, beFURe bed massage and sleep.

Please don't leave again!

Talking about the Oscars, are you ready fur my Top 5 BEST and WORST dressed of 2013??

First, the good news: Some purrsons actually did a decent job, like Jennifer Lawrence in Dior. It looked too bridal fur me, but hey at least she WON an Oscar.

I also liked Jane Fonda A LOT in yellow Versace. I mean, she is like 110 years old and she took a fashion risk with the color and the retro-look dress.

Kerry Washington dressed in Miu Miu, or should I say MEOW MEOW because the coral dress was very cute. I only have one complaint: She needed more lipstick. Why would a girl want to make her lips smaller? Her lips are BEAUTIFUL! Kerry, girl, everypawdy PAYS to get lips like yours ... sadly they end up looking like ducks if they are lucky!

Good job girls!

But those ladies were not my FAVES. My favorites are, in no special order, the following:

1. Naomi Watts wearing Armani

Two words: FUTURISTIC GODDESS!

Naomi Watts

2. Sally Field in her red Valentino

Totally lovely, age-appropriate, nice accessories, and effortless hairdo. Girl, in red you look ALMOST as good as me.

Sally Field

3. Jennifer Garner in plum Gucci

OMG, I love the color and the ruffles in the back, She doesn't need a big butt -- she has RUFFLES! Bravo to Jennifer for being one of the few who used color -- it looked great against her skin tone.

Jennifer Garner

4. Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji

Octavia, you need to give Tadashi's number to Adele and Melissa McCarthy FUR REALS! He knows how to dress a woman. He embraces the curves and his designs are flattering fur every girl. Fluffy girls look AMAZING on his designs.

Octavia Spencer

5. Amy Adams in Oscar de la Renta

Even when I wasn't WOWOW by the silver/grey/blueish color, I have to admit that the dress is fab. I just wished the color was different like emerald-green. Ufff, with Amy's eyes it would have been a knockout.

Amy Adams

Now the juicy names of the WORST dressed. Honestly, I found it hard to choose only five.

Seriously, what was Kelly Rowland thinking in that dress? Was she looking fur a pimp?

Kristen Stewart had that "I just woke up" hairdo and oops, she forgot to wear a bra. Seriously, you are 22 and your boobs should be UP. Wear a bra!

And who didn't snooze with Jennifer Aniston? She didn't look bad, but she is sooo boringly safe! Jennifer, you have a rocking body, pretty hair, and face -- DO SOMETHING WITH THEM! Seriously, you are killing me, girl.

Soooo Annoys!

That being said, the WORST were (again in no particular order):

1. Anne Hathaway in Prada

Even PRADA makes mistakes. Oh, girl -- you were an Oscar nominee FUR GOD'S SAKE. Luckily for you that dress didn't influence the Academy decision and you won! ConCATulations, Anne, but I can't stop feeling bad that you were wearing THAT on your most imPURRtant night of your career. Somebody at Prada needs to get fired, and also your stylist -- SATIN, RACHEL ZOE? FUR REALS??

Also, Anne, you look too thin. Eat a taco, please! You look way more pretty with more skin.

Anne Hathaway

2. Brandi Glanville wearing, well ... herself!

First of all, Brandi, this was the OSCARS, not the Hoochie Momma Awards!

Second, I know your engineering ta-tas will keep that dress in place, but it was awfully uncomFURtable to watch.

Third, eat three dozen tacos and stop messing with your face. You used to look normal -- now your cheekbones look like they want to escape from your face!

Brandi Glanville

3. Melissa McCarthy in David Meister

Sigh! Just because you are fluffy you don't have to wear drapes! You are such a cutie pie but you never nail the red carpet. Do yourself a favor and call Tadashi. Fur next time, accentuate the right places and the rest will make it flow!

Melissa McCarthy

4. Helen Hunt wearing H&M

Another satiny disaster. WTDP (Who the dog poop) had the idea that Satiny looks good on gowns? You just need to take a look at that fabric fur it to wrinkle!

I bet Helen ironed her dress, but as soon as she sat down the dress got all messed up and the red carpet lights just accentuated the mess.

Helen Hunt

5. Salma Hayek

Hay, Salmita! She married the best wardrobe in the world -- and she chose to wear THAT?

Salma, you looked even shorter than you already are. Wearing a tiara was just tasteless, your hair was YUCK, and you also need a better makeup artist because this one makes you look tired!

Salma Hayek

In general, I'm soooo tired of discolored nude lipstick. Look, I'm not saying to wear hot red, but let's put some color on, ladies!

I'm available fur fashion and make up advice on Skype fur a modest price, so stars, CALL ME and you'll never be embarrassed again on the red carpet.

Thanks a lot fur reading my column this week. I will be waiting fur you on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to say hi here on Catster.

Last but not least, visit my website to meet Purrsians in need in your area.



Want more Luna? Read all her fashionista articles here. Here are some of our faves:

Contributions

Tip: Creating a profile and avatar takes just a minute and is a great way to participate in Catster's community of people who are passionate about cats.

blog comments powered by Disqus