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5 Funny (or Spooky) Ways My Cats Are Stare-Masters

Cats stare at things. Cats stare at nothing. Cats stare at things maybe I can't see. It's hilarious. It's creepy.

Angie Bailey  |  Feb 27th 2017


Cats can be quiet creatures, and they often use their body language to communicate with us. Their tails tell us oodles of information, and their eyes speak volumes. I especially love the looks of adoration my cats give me — I swear I could melt. Other times they can look at me with such an air of superiority that I feel like I’m on the wrong end of a serious smackdown.

Sometimes they allow their gaze to linger … really linger. Yeah, cats are masters at staring. I guess you could call them stare-masters. Haha. At times the staring seems to be for a purpose, and other times it’s mysterious and leaves me guessing. Here are five ways my cats use their staring skills in my presence.

1. Wall-staring

Friends, Cosmo is a wallflower.

Friends, Cosmo is a wallflower.

Most cats do the wall-staring thing, and my kitties are no exception. Occasionally, their noses will be so close to the wall that they’re nearly touching it. They look like old-timey school kids being punished by having to stand with their nose touching a point on the wall. Maybe my cats are secretly reprimanding themselves for naughty behavior. Nah — cats would never admit any wrongdoing. The whole wall-staring situation remains a puzzle that shall not be solved, so I give up.

2. “You lookin’ at me?”

"I love you. Pick me up. I love you. Feed me. I love you. Did I mention I love you?"

“I love you. Pick me up. I love you. Feed me. I love you. Did I mention I love you?”

Cosmo’s the king of staring at me. I’m his favorite person, and also the one who’s in control of his food bowl and the almighty treats — thus, I remain a target of his concentrated staring efforts. Usually it’s because he wants to be fully attached to me at all times. Because of that, he’s earned the moniker “Velcro cat.” Even as I type this, he’s curled up flat against me, with his laser eyes pointed in my direction. I love that he loves me, but the staring is occasionally unsettling. He’s a total lurker, bless his fuzzy little heart. I don’t think he’ll ever stop and I’m really okay with it.

3. Litter boxing

Phoebe demonstrates the "poop trance."

Phoebe demonstrates the “poop trance.”

I know it’s not polite to watch someone using the toilet, but hey — my cats have made a hobby out of watching me “go potty,” so why shouldn’t I occasionally watch them do their business? I get a real kick out of the serious faces they wear when crouched in their box. They go into some kind of trance, and nothing can break their focused stare. I’ve tried talking to them while they’re mid-trance, but they refuse to look my way. That’s some major concentration, if you ask me.

4. Thin air

"Feline meditation at its finest."

“Feline meditation at its finest.”

So there’s this meditative look cats frequently wear when they’re staring into thin air. They don’t seem to see anything in particular, and their eyes are relaxed and focused. Are they thinking of something, or is there an empty thought bubble happening upstairs? Hamster wheel’s running, but the hamster is gone? I’d love a peek inside the feline brain. I believe they could teach an advanced meditation class at the local Zen center.

5. Invisible objects

Does Cosmo see a ghost or do I just need to dust? I may never know.

Does Cosmo see a ghost or do I just need to dust? I may never know.

This type of stare is hilarious as well as mysterious. My cats stare at seemingly invisible objects all the time. I know animals are known to see things human eyes cannot see, so I’m not surprised when I see it happening. Still, I try to carefully follow their gaze and see whether there’s something I’m missing. Are they fascinated by a speck of floating dust, or is there the ghost of some Civil War general standing in my living room? I think there are certain things about cats that we’re simply not meant to know.

What are your cat’s favorite staring moves? Tell us about them in the comments!