I adopted a kitten in October and I don't feel like I love him. Will I eventually?

I fostered this cat when he was 6 weeks old. I agreed to adopt him but he's not cuddly and I don't feel close to him. I find myself getting easily frustrated with him and not wanting to spend time with him. I feel horrible and I don't want to just give him away. Will our bond grow as he gets older? Is there any way to encourage more affection?

Asked by Member 1150907 on Jan 19th 2013 Tagged affection, bonding in Other Behavior & Training
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Izadore (Izzie)

Your question concerns me that you may lose patience with this little one and do something regrettable, but the fact that you're asking what you can do is a positive sign. It also concerns me that you "agreed to adopt him" which makes me wonder if you were less than eager to add him to your family and got talked into it. Keep in mind that cats are independent creatures. Kittens have their own agenda and unless they're tired out from a busy day, they're seldom cuddly creatures. A kitten needs to learn what's acceptable in his home with gentle, loving patience and consistency.He has to see his person as someone he can count on to feed, vet and play with him. I've taught cats to fetch, to sit on command and all 3 of mine are lapcats. I notice you call him "this cat" and don't use his name or say "my cat". Kittens are indeed a "handful". They're like human children and take a lot of patience. If you fostered for a rescue, you may want to speak with them about what's going on. Purrs...

Izadore (Izzie) answered on 1/22/13. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 1 Report this answer


Maybe you can get him a toy or two? I just got my kitten Choco (7 months old as shown in pic) a few weeks ago and was afraid I would get bored of her quickly and tired of taking care of her, but that's completely opposite from what's actually happened because she is just soooo cute. I bought her toys so that she's not bored during the day when I work but at first she'd sniff them and ignore them. For some reason a few days ago she started reacting to the toys (mice that squeak when touched, Cat Dancer, Cat Charmer) and even random stuff like paper bags and my socks. She also became more accepting to being placed on my lap. I think your kitten might not feel comfortable with you enough to cuddle, since I believe cats know your moods. I think you should give your cat more time to become comfortable with you :) Good luck!

Choco answered on 1/22/13. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Some cats are cuddly others aren't and you can't really make a non-cuddly cat cuddly... and if this is a big deal for you then perhaps you shouldn't have this puss. If you can accept his personality and accept him for the cat he is - then you'll get along just fine and he might show you more affection than you were expecting. Just be sure you want him as a pet - if not, please let him go somewhere to somebody who will love him for being un-cuddly !

Purdy answered on 4/2/13. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer