How can I regain my cat's love/trust?

I have a 4-month old cat. I loved him. I believe he loved me too; responding to my strokes, insisting to sleep under my desk chair at my feet.
But I was so stupid and compulsive to want perfection from him. I tried to force him to sleep in a fixed place, to eat in "manner", and sometimes slapped and shouted at him.
Result was obvious. Distance grew and he prefers the boys' room, hunkers when I'm in, till I pass by then he flees the scene. I know he was scared and blaming me. I tried to be nicer, yet he allows me to lift him out of fear I guess.
Then came the day when I hit him bad :-( I was all dressed for work when my son tells me V is sleeping in his litter box, I lift him wiped him with a towel he started to wiggle and move all around getting me all covered. I lost it and I hit him bad :-( Glad my kids weren't around. Now he wants nothing to do with me. Never leaves his spot. I carry him to food myself. I betrayed and mistreated him, I regret it so much. Can he trust me again? :-(

Asked by Member 1186503 on Aug 21st 2013 Tagged cats, gaintrust, care in Behavior & Training
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Bezalel Tiger

Cats are not dogs. It will take a few years, just leave him alone and let him warm up to you on his own. You can tempt him with a few SmartBites treats to show him that you are not always a monster, but the damage has been done. He was sleeping in the litter box probably because he was afraid of you. Hopefully you will learn from this grave mistake. Leave litter and food in a place where he knows they will be and then let him be indefinitely; it's NOT his fault. ^_^

Bezalel Tiger answered on 8/27/13. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Never, ever hit an animal. It doesn't work. I am not even sure you should have a pet. But please if you get mad at him count to ten or walk away and take some deep breaths. Animals feel your mood and it will take him time. I accidentally stepped on my cats paw one time, he kept clear for a while but eventually got over it. I still am not sure you should have an animal but if you speak softly to him, share some treats and maybe sit on the floor at his level with some toys and play with him, he may come around. Please manage your anger...animals are innocent creatures that mean no harm. Good Luck.

Nicholas answered on 8/30/13. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Kitties sleeping in litter boxes is something you see in a shelter, where they are scared and alone. You must recognize that you have created these feelings for your cat in his own home. This is something he may never recover from. My Ghost is 6 years old, he was rehomed to me thru a shelter after his previous owners son "didn't like him" and was "possibly mean". Gost still shows signs of this trauma after living in a safe place for a year, not being keen on being pet in full stroke down his back and cowering his behind if you get anywhere near it. Not to mention his paragliding fear of men's voices.
You can attempt to regain your cats trust by laying on the ground in the same room with treats. Be patient and toss one over. Hold your hands out still, for him to sniff and rub (to get to this point may take days or months or never) never initiate the petting, wait patiently for HIM to touch YOU
You Must be honest with yourself If you can't do this or feel anger you MUST rehome the cat

Ghost answered on 9/6/13. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


You should not have a cat or any other pet. You are an animal abuser. This cat should be taken away from you & you should be behind bars. I hope you don't abuse your children too!!! Do the right thing & try to find a decent home with decent people in it or take this cat to a no-kill shelter.

Twinkle answered on 9/12/13. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer