Secretly aren't you just a touch envious?

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"Whut? This is mine now." Photo by girl_named_fred

Do you think the cat knows you're kind of jealous of the way she can curl up in a cozy basket of warm, lemon-scented linens? Yeah, of course she knows. That's why she does it.

Here are some photos of other things she does just to watch you turn green:

1. Self indulgent acrobatics

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Cats can kiss their own butts. No wonder they are so self important. Photo by itchys

Show off.

2. Make sleep not only a priority, but her job

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That looks nice. Photo by barbourians

If the cat were awake right now, I'd be confused and a little frightened. If I manage to sneak four hours of rest in tonight, I'll be ecstatic (part of this is because I have too much to do and part of this is because I'm a mild insomniac).

3. Laser eyes

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You can only see them sometimes, in photos, but trust me, all cats have this secret power. Photo by Cramit

There's a reason people don't mess with cats.

4. Sleep on expensive electronic equipment

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Sleep on expensive electronics … and stare at your own face too. Indulgent narcissism at its best. Photo by Dan Correia

When someone hands me a laptop, they expect me to get to work. For a cat, sleeping is a job and a laptop is just a really solid electric blanket.

5. Be adorable -- no matter what

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Jelly bean toes! If I did this, people would be like, "Liz, don't be so desperate." Photo by Alison Elizabeth x

My cuteness is conditional, and those conditions are not often met. When I've had a full night of darting in out of bedroom doors, I look like hell the next day. When a cat does it, she still wakes up looking squee-worthy.

6. Be famous on the Internet for doing nothing

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This is Precious Princess Choupette. She's famous for doing nothing. Her owner is famous too, but I can't remember why.

Paris Hilton is (was?) also famous for doing nothing. But then I'd have to be Paris Hilton.

7. Sit in a cardboard box

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My parents would be all, "We sent you to an expensive private college for nothing!" and I'd be like, "Look, it's not what it seems." Photo by shashinjutsu

When I sit in a cardboard box, my parents wonder what they did wrong.

8. Almost always land on her feet

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I will bet you $100 that cat stuck that jump like an Olympic gymnast. Photo by rocketjim54

I'm lucky if I land on my feet. I usually land on my face.

9. Jumping in general

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One time I tried out for the basketball team. What I mean by that is one time I provided the basketball coach with some comedic entertainment. Photo by KingArthur10

Because how cool is that?

10. Look effortlessly cool

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Cat, is your name Kim Deal? Photo by :Salihan

How do your cats make you jealous? Come on, you can admit it!

Here are more cats being funny on Catster:

• 5 Ways My Cats Piss Me Off
• 6 Cats Caught in the Act
• Hey, RuPaul's Drag Race Finalists: Here Are 10 Cats You Should Be Watching

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Who needs a horse-drawn carriage when you can have Collies? Photo by atticowl's Etsy Shop

Imagine my delight when, years later, I discovered Alfred Mainzer's Dressed Cats postcards. These silly kitties were doing WAY more than riding around on skateboards. They wore human clothing, sat in classrooms, shopped in butcher shops, and even drove carriages drawn by dogs. I was instantly smitten by these funny postcards. 

Here are 10 of my favorite Mainzer cards, along with my interpretation of the shenanigans depicted.

1. Just a dash of Rosemary

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Cats in shorts? Yes, please. Photo by Catmoji

Some of Mainzer's postcards show cats wearing shoes and fancier clothing, but these kitties seem to be more common felines. A nurse is walking the twin Rosemary's Baby-looking Siamese kittens, who probably belong to someone in a higher class, who can afford extravagances like nannies, double-wide strollers, and exorcisms. 

2. Please stow all unruly children in the overhead bin

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Those cats are just plane crazy. Photo by Art of Alfred Mainzer Pinterest Page

There's usually some sort of chaos happening in these cards. These are fancier folk, which are typically seen as masters of dogs. And rightfully so. And why are those bratty kittens squeezing toothpaste (?) on people from the overhead bin? Somebody's not gonna get to visit the cockpit. 

3. No visit to Maury for a paternity test ... this time

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"But you told me you were neutered!" Photo by Playle.com

What a sweet scene. Friends and family are gathered 'round Mama Cat as she's handed her newborn kit. Everyone looks relieved because the baby looks just like her papa. This is good because Misty is known to get around, if you know what I mean. I recommend a couple's appointment at the local spay/neuter clinic on the way home. 

4. Messy milkmaid

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"You're fired!" Photo by LaloBean's Etsy Shop

This card reminds me of a scene from The Help. Little miss snooty calico needs to watch it -- she better be nice to the people who bring her food or else be ready to get served up a heaping helping of cat poop pie. If you didn't read or watch The Help, you might not have gotten that one, but a good poop joke is always satisfying ... to me, anyway.

5. "I'm gonna shave your face off!"

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Cats wearing shoes = win. Photo by VintageVendor's Etsy Shop

Again with the fancy people, subservient dogs, and misbehaving children squeezing things all over each other. And the adults are completely oblivious to the razor being wielded on the salon floor. The guy in the glasses is only interested in one thing, and she's underneath the hair dryer. 

6. Campy cats

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Cows? OK! Photo by PostcardCollector.org

Just another camping trip with the Whiskertons! More bratty kids, a cat in a babushka and glasses peeling potatoes, a cow infiltrating the car, and Dad looking cool as a cucumber in his chef's hat, basting the bird. I have a feeling he's smoking something that is not a cigar. 

7. A meating with the law

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"Hot dog!" Photo by ThePostcardDepot's Etsy Shop

This butcher shop is a hotbed for crime. Look at all the privileged little cats making off with the goods! No worries, the fuzz is onto them and they'll spend the next year in cat juvie, alongside that little troublemaker with the electric razor.

8. A garden of vomit

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"I love to puke roses, Mama!" Photo by eBay, rmmoody

"Look, Mommy! I picked a rose!" What they aren't showing are the cats behind the greenhouse puking up all the flowers they've picked and eaten.

9. Spooning kitties

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Typical dinner at the Fangsteins. Photo by Art of Alfred Mainzer Pinterest Page

Another juvie-bound cat with anger management issues. "Call me 'noodle brain' one more time and I'll pummel you with this spoon!" Spaghetti night at the McClaw house was never pretty. Even the mice are aghast.

10. A Hallmark moment

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Unattended kittens are every shopkeeper's nightmare. Photo by Art of Alfred Mainzer Pinterest Page

Terrible children, high-society pussycats with manicured poodles, and terrified mice: exactly what you'd expect to see in a card shop. Where's the "Mommy Misses You Since You've Been Away at Juvenile Hall" section of cards? Because that's where that lady needs to be looking. 

What do you like about these vintage cards? Tell us about it in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

Read more by Angie Bailey:

• 7 Sounds That Make My Cats Run Like They've Lost Their Minds
• 5 Ways My Cats Play It Cool in Really Embarrassing Moments
• Because You Love It, Texts From Mittens is Now a Regular Feature!

But it wasn't a cat that piqued my interest, it was a raccoon.

Weekly Whiskers is mostly about a cat. A cat named Romeo, in fact. Romeo is a clicker-trained (and toilet-trained!) Bengal who lives in Seattle with his human friend and two other cats named Kieran and Alex. He also occasionally hangs out with a gang of neighborhood raccoons.

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Romeo is very handsome. Photo via the Weekly Whiskers Facebook page

Her name is Betty. Look how she dances for Romeo. Why wouldn't she love him? Romeo looks so cool riding his skateboard.

We don't recommend feeding and petting wild raccoons, but their little hands are sort of really adorable. And if you were a cat, out of all the different kinds of species you could befriend, raccoons are probably the most ideal because of those little hands. They're perfect for scratching -- but only exactly two scratches (as you very well know).

Alas, all of Romeo's cleverness cannot change the fact that he is a cat and his raccoon lover is an entirely different species, therefore rendering their affections incompatible. It's like they can only see each other through a window, separated by a pane of glass -- one wild, one domesticated. Wait, it's not like that, it's exactly that.

Love sure hurts sometimes. (But oh, those little hands are so adorable!)

What will become of the love affair between Romeo the cat and Betty the raccoon? Follow Romeo's Facebook page -- Weekly Whiskers -- to find out!

Photo: A cat watching a raccoon steal food by Shutterstock

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Me and a friend in the late 1980s. Kitty better not strike a match.

I'd love to look back at my yearbook and see whether any of the senior superlative recipients went on to realize the titles. I wasn't awarded a superlative, but I probably would have won the "Most Likely to Cause a Small Aqua-Net-Induced Fire." Yeah, I graduated in the 1980s, when our hair was shellacked with cheap hair products and didn't move at all when we thrashed about on the dance floor to songs by A Flock of Seagulls.

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"Success is a given. Duh." Cat in Graduation Cap by Shutterstock

If cats graduated from high school, they'd certainly incorporate senior superlatives into their end-of-year festivities. Here are eight superlatives and the cats who might earn them.

1. Most Likely to Use Nontraditional Methods to Catch Mice

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"Physics was my best subject." Photo of Reeses by Donna Bailey

Reeses wins this one, paws down. Always the blue ribbon winner at the science fairs, he consistently wowed his teachers with cutting edge contraptions and inventive methods for flea control and under-sofa toy removal. 

2. Most Likely to Be a Lifelong Bachelor

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"I had three prom dates." Photo of Hector by Nicky Westbrook

Hector was the guy who always had a lady on his arm. Known for his smooth-talking manner and extended co-bathing sessions behind Walmart, he was a total Casanova. Or Fonzie.

3. Most Likely to Join a Food Thievery Ring

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"I have my eye on you. And your future food." Photo of Rocco by Char Riedinger

Rocco was the cat who stole other cats' lunch money. And you never, ever turned your back in the cafeteria on tuna taco day, because her paws were lightning fast and she made no apologies to anyone. 

4. Best Dog Duper

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"The dog is pathetic." Photo of Frances the cat and Etta the dog by Marina Dickey

Frances was often seen throwing dice with the neighborhood mutts behind the school. A skilled card shark and con artist, she always had plenty of money and pockets full of catnip. The dogs never caught on and continued to meet her each afternoon in attempts to win back their cash. Oh, dogs ... they never learn. 

5. Cutest Couple

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"Cosmo and his lady are together 4-ever."

Cosmo and Roberta have been dating since freshman year and, despite Roberta's often rigid exterior and introverted nature, they were the most popular couple at school. In not-so-surprising landslide votes, they were voted both homecoming and prom king and queen. Cosmo swears it was because of his natural tuxedo, but everyone knew it was because they were the couple everyone wanted to be.

6. Best Fake Ferocity

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"Be afraid. For real." Photo of Cody by Caren Gittleman

Cody was a big talker and thought he had serious moves. The trouble was, no one really took him seriously. Once he went after Rocco when she lifted his tuna taco. He wound up accidentally karate-chopping the lunch lady and landed himself in detention for a week. 

7. Most Likely to Wire Catnip Funds to Nigeria

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"Password protected ... whatever." Photo of Gus by Susie Shubert

Gus's nickname was "Gullible Gus." Oreo once told him sleeping in sun puddles caused fleas. He stayed out of the sun for a solid six months. He was also known for his superstitious behavior and constantly spammed his Facebook friends with obnoxious chain letters.

8. Best Hair

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"Hair I am!" Photo of Hector by Nicky Westbrook

Hector wins again. For the last few months of his senior year, he grew his hair into a giant blonde afro and was even more of a lady magnet, if that was even possible. They loved running their paws through his lovely locks, and Hector adored it, because he knew the co-bathing sessions behind Walmart would last twice as long.

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"Most likely to be awesome." Cat Sitting Outside in Graduation Cap by Shutterstock

What type of senior superlative would your cat win? Tell us about it in the comments!

About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

Read more by Angie Bailey:

• My Cat Has a Bucket List With 8 Items on It
• 6 Cats Caught in the Act
• 8 Bumper Stickers Your Cat Would Put on His Car

I admit that at first, I was all like, "What the heck is this Vine thing? How do I make it work? What's the point?" But then I posted my first Vine and experienced how easy it was, and suddenly I was addicted. Believe it or not, I have a film degree, so when I first interacted with Vine, I was all, "How do I make edits? Or roll credits?" and I was frustrated with its simplicity. But then I realized that its simplicity is its strength. It forces you to spontaneously create, and if there's one thing I know you Catsters are, it's creative.

I was delighted to see people participating in my request to tag their Mothers Day Vines #CatsterCatMom! As promised, here are five of my favorite Mothers Day Vines:

1. Kittens being kittens

How can you feel upset looking at these two kittens romping?

2. This is one hard-working mama

Eee! Little cow kittens nursing! We hope Mama Cat got four little gifts of gratitude this Mothers Day!

3. Being a cat mom means you can never leave your mug unattended

"Why yes, I'll help myself to whatever you're drinking. Mind a sprinkling of kitty litter with your tea?"

4. This little kitten already knows how to sit on command!

We're really impressed!

5. We hope all the mothers out there got a chance to stretch and relax

Take it from cats: Nothing beats a good stretch and air knead.

What do you think of Vine? Are you on it? What's your username?

Check out these other posts on cat autobiographies, Vine, and training:

• If Cats Wrote Autobiographies, We'd Get Chapters Like This …
• Our 5 Favorite Cat Videos on Vine Right Now
• Have You Had Any Luck Training Your Cat? I Sure Haven't

What if cats went to school to hone their skills in some of the more compulsory kitty crafts? What would a cat's report card look like? I have some ideas, along with possible teacher comments.

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Kitty needs a hiding tutor.

1. Introduction to Obstruction

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Phoebe reminds me that's she's #1 on my to-do list.

Teacher's comments: Pancake shows consistent effort in demonstrating the skills necessary to prevent humans from completing day-to-day tasks. He excels in extended lap-lounging and shows promise in the area of chair-jacking. I would, however, like to see a bit more practice in the area of computer keyboard obstruction. I am available after class if he'd like additional help. 

2. Alarm Clockery

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Cosmo: "Soon."

Teacher's comments: Pancake excels at the skill of knowing exactly when to wake humans and the proper timing for pre-waking whining. On the final exam, I was impressed with his precision in walking across a human's full bladder exactly 30 minutes prior to feeding time. If he is interested, I would like to offer him a T.A. position next term.

3. Boxing Lab

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Saffy is always looking for extra credit.

Teacher's comments: Pancake scored well in all the practical exercises, but I'd like to have seen him really push himself into trying boxes of all sizes, including ones he thought were way to small for his frame. He seemed self-conscious of his size and did not venture beyond the safety of a shoebox. I would like to see him work on this issue at home. Please let me know if you need assistance locating small boxes -- we have a lending program at school.

4. Gift Wrapping 101

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"Technique is everything." Photo by Lori L. Stalteri

Teacher's comments: Pancake seemed to enjoy this class. During bow-stealing demonstrations, he often volunteered to assist. He worked well in his small group, which went on to score well in the final project: "5 Steps for Preventing a Human from Wrapping a Holiday Gift." I believe his high score in "Introduction to Obstruction" helped his efforts and interest in this course. I'd like to see him develop a greater comfort with gift boxes of all sizes (see Boxing Lab comments).

5. Bathe Your Neighbor

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"I love my lab partner." Cats Bathing by Shutterstock

Teacher's comments: Pancake learned new bathing methods quite easily and worked well with his project partners. He showed particular talent in cleaning the inside of his partners' ears. His grasp was gentle, yet firm, and his work was thorough. He was also a patient recipient, even when his partner's technique was less than polished. I would recommend he register for the follow-up class, "Fight-Stop-Bathe-Stop-Fight," designed to help students with the constant back-and-forth cats often experience when play-fighting with another cat. The curriculum is intense, but I believe he can handle it. Let me know if you need a written recommendation.

6. Intermediate Hiding Techniques

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Cosmo needs a refresher course.

Teacher's comments: Pancake consistently showed below-average effort and skills and this class. I offered to connect him with a tutor, but he refused. During classwork and tests, he demonstrated difficulty completely hiding his body; usually, a tail, ear, or paw was visible. During one pop quiz, the back half of his loafed form protruded from behind the file cabinet. I recommend he register for a summer course and practice with a tutor.

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"Straight A's in napping." Cat Napping and Chalkboard By Shutterstock

What grades would your cat receive on his report card? Tell us about it in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

Read more by Angie Bailey:

• 7 Sounds That Make My Cats Run Like They've Lost Their Minds
• 5 Ways My Cats Play It Cool in Really Embarrassing Moments
• Because You Love It, Texts From Mittens is Now a Regular Feature!

We got our hands on some promotion materials for some of these camps. 

1. Camp Chicken

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Chicken and cat by Shutterstock.

At the end of Camp Chicken, all campers will have stalked, brought down, and consumed a whole chicken. That is our guarantee to you. Are you cat enough to take it? There are no cans of chicken at Camp Chicken -- there are no can openers, no bags of Innova, no Wild West Friskies Treats. There are only 75 chickens, three acres, and you, alone with your claws and teeth and innate predatorial knowledge of edible organs. This is what you've dreamed about. 

Camp Chicken: You will kill and eat a whole chicken®

2. Camp Nap

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Cat sleeps by Shutterstock.

Days at Camp Nap begin bright and early at four in the afternoon. Nappers meet on the napping mat to receive instruction in official Camp Nap napping from the chief napper; napping lesson ends when the chief napper naps. Note: If nappers file onto the napping mat and the chief napper is already napping, Camp Nap nappers are required to nap. Remember our slogan: "Everything begins with a nap." Remember our fight song: "We Nap, We Nap, We Zzzz..." Lunch is whenever. Dinner consists of chicken. I'm so tired. Hey, I have a great idea! 

Camp Nap: Isn't it time for another nap?® 

3. Camp stretch

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Red cat stretching by Shutterstock.

Camp stretch is a three-day camp best completed before Camp Nap. It is intense. Our trainers are all lithe Abyssinians who grew up in trees chasing flying squirrels and running from eagles. Mona, our lead stretcher, can curl herself into a pretzel while balancing on her rigid tail. Do not ask her to do this. Our lessons include proper post-nap and pre-nap stretching, which is vital if you intend to nap through next Tuesday. Advanced training includes sleep stretching. Do not ask Mona to show you this -- also do not look Mona in the eyes, or mew in her direction. Stretching class lasts for six hours every morning. Do not leave early (Mona).

Camp Stretch: Namaste, bitchez®

4. Camp Box

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Curious cat by Shutterstock.

Camp Box isn't so much a camp as it is a magical journey to the land where boxes are born. Okay, it's a trip to a box-making factory. For one night, the industrial lathes are quiet, the flap-and-crease machines are still, and cats enter the cavernous Worldwide Cardboard Box Co., thick with pungent scent of freshly milled corrugated cardboard and the seductive tang of sealing glue, to luxuriate, to play, to indulge. Cats are encouraged to follow their bliss -- some immediately squeeze into something two sizes too small and enter a meditative coma for the duration, while others jump from box to box for hours, arcing in the dusty air, the only sounds a deep, ancestral purr and the irresistible slap of paw pads hitting the bottoms of boxes. 

Camp Box: It's for lovers®

5. Camp Catnip 

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Addicted cat by Shutterstock.

Some say that Camp Catnip does not exist. Others speak of it in low tones, whispering coded messages through fences to passing strays. Societal norms do not apply at Camp Catnip, it does not have laws, it does not have codes of conduct, but what it does have is every kind of catnip you can imagine: flake, bud, tincture, spray, Humboldt Fuzz, Blue Haze, Arctic Whiz, Persian Bliss, Fat Garfield, and more back-alley freak strains to satisfy the most insatiable catnipper. There's a catnip from Paraguay that'll make you feel like two cats. There's one from Japan that turns your paws into toasters. Another will make you feel like a Chihuahua in a baby carriage being rolled down Fifth Avenue by Charo. Catnip camp accepts no fee, is not sanctioned or recognized by any governing body or country, and is invitation-only. We'll be in touch. 

Camp Catnip: We're off the grid, and you will be, too®

6. Camp Swim

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Cat beside pool by Shutterstock.

Hah! There's no such thing as Camp Swim.

More cat humor:

• How to Interpret Your Cat's Mothers Day Gift
• 8 Bumper Stickers Your Cat Would Put on His Car
• 6 Cats Caught in the Act

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As an angst-ridden teen, I dressed my cat and read biographies about tortured rockers and their girlfriends.

Cats are pretty egocentric, and I believe they'd love nothing more than to pen a self-indulgent autobiography full of all sorts of juicy bits. Here's my take on the titles of the chapters.

Foreword

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"Hello world! I've arrived!" Kittens in Basket by Shutterstock

Certainly there would be an extensive foreword, which would describe the journey leading up to writing the book. The author would paint a picture of a rich life, brushed with peaks and valleys of elation and disappointment, but mostly disappointment. 

Chapter 1: I always knew I was destined for greatness

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"Loud and proud!" Kitten Meowing in Grass by Shutterstock

Cats emit a vibe of entitlement, and it would radiate from the pages of the book. Even as young kittens, they know humans exist only to serve them. In this chapter, the author would share the details of some of his proudest moments: the mice caught, the pillows stolen, and the tiniest boxes in which he'd squeezed. And he'd out the selfish humans who never supported him along the way.

Chapter 2: Mutilation and other atrocities

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"I want them back." Gray Cat With Open Mouth by Shutterstock

Life wasn't always a bowl of Greenies. In fact, there were some pretty painful memories, mostly involving visits to the veterinarian. The author uses this chapter to openly rage about being loaded into the carrier of incarceration; shoved into a loud, vibrating mechanical monster; and then emerging into a sterile room, where he's poked and prodded and body parts are stolen. The tale is far more terrifying than any U.F.O. abduction account.

Chapter 4: The good, the bad, and the laundry

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"It was the best of loads, it was the worst of loads."

The baskets of warm laundry are definitely highlights of any cat's lifetime. Some are particularly memorable: the load of fleece blankets, the sweet Egyptian cotton towels, the cushy mound of socks and underwear. The author uses vivid imagery to bring the readers into that magical laundry basket. It's as if we are wrapped up in that cozy pair of flannel boxers. 

Fabric isn't the only type of laundry being discussed in this chapter. The author also uses these pages as a tell-all hotspot for airing the dirty laundry of the humans in his life. Here is where we find out who's been feeding the cheap kibble, who hasn't been scooping the litter box in a timely manner, and who walks around in their underwear. 

Chapter 5: Naps I have known

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"Yes, that one was a life-changer." Cat Sleepingby Shutterstock

Ah, the delicious nap. Like the laundry baskets, naps hold an especially sweet spot in a cat's memoir. In this chapter, the author exposes the best napping spots for sun-soaked slumbers and recalls afternoons spent sprawled in front of open windows and tucked away in linen closets.

Chapter 6: The sunset years

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"The indignity."

As a cat moves into the latter lives of their given nine, they become a little more cranky and intolerant of the shenanigans imposed upon them by self-centered humans. And rightfully so. The author describes the senior years with special emphasis on extended napping, the challenges of feline dental issues, being forced to wear silly clothing but feeling too tired to effectively revolt, and swat after swat at impossibly annoying children. 

Afterword

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"I laughed, I cried. It was better than ... well, you know."

The author thanks the gentle readers for walking the path of remembrance with him. He hopes we learned something about his struggles and triumphs. He wants us to know that those nine lives are short and we must embrace every moment. However, we must not sell out to The Man, for he is -- and always will be -- far inferior in every possible way. He closes with two quotations. The first is from the immortal rapper Eminem: "The truth is, you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride and nothing is guaranteed." Then, he leaves us with the wise words of Maurice, the streetwise tabby who lives down the block: "The trouble with common sense is that most people are morons."

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"This explains a lot." Cat Reading by Shutterstock

What chapter titles would be in your cat's autobiography? Tell us in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. 

Read more by Angie Bailey:

• 7 Sounds That Make My Cats Run Like They've Lost Their Minds
• 5 Ways My Cats Play It Cool in Really Embarrassing Moments
• 4 Ways Cats Crack Us Up Without Fail

I'm just kidding! I don't have a yard! And I've successfully killed every plant that's come into my care -- including a pot of ivy.

Vine is this cute little app (currently available only on iPhone -- bummer) that allows you to record and post six second video snippets. Its limitations allow creativity to flourish. Now everyone can be an experimental filmmaker!

And now we can get even more cat videos!

To start you off, we've collected five of our favorite cat Vines to share with you. Once you've got the hang of it, find Catster on Vine and shoot some Vines of you and your kitties celebrating Mother's Day this weekend. Then, hashtag them #CatsterCatMom, and we'll share them next week!

1. Here's a cat playing with a sock

Because cats looove stinky socks, here's six seconds of it on loop!

2. "Pet me, pet me, let me lick you, let me lick you. OK -- BITE"

Ah yes, the classic bait and switch ... and bait. CHOMP.

3. Toby the cat showing off

This clip makes us glad that Vine is limited to only six seconds because we're sure Toby could do this for hours.

4. A tale of unrequited love

This clip manages to tell a story of jilted affections all in less than a minute.

5. KITTENS!!!

Kittens, kittens, kittens!

And now, our our first Catster Vine!

We decided to entertain you with a little fortune teller. How does it work? Click on the video to receive your fortune for the day.

Wasn't that fun? Join the party by searching for "Catster" in your Vine app or find us via our Twitter. Record and share your Mother's Day Vines and tag them with #CatsterCatMom, and maybe you'll see your kitty on Catster!

Photo: Cat taking a very important call on her cellphone by Shutterstock.com

Again, with a nod to Texts from Dog, here are more text messages from Mittens the cat.

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"Enough Angry Birds. Can I have my phone back?" Boy With Cell Phone and Cat by Shutterstock

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"I texted her 5 minutes ago. Where IS she?" Calico Kitten and Cell Phone by Shutterstock

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"What? Never seen a cat texting?" Photo by Bridget Sweeny

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"And it's a toy, too!" Cats Playing With Cell Phones by Shutterstock

What kind of texts would your cats send? Tell us about them in the comments!

About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

Read more posts by Angie Bailey:

• 5 Ways My Cats Play It Cool in Really Embarrassing Moments
• 6 Places You NEVER Want to Find a Hairball
• 10 Cats Who Will Literally Sleep ANYWHERE

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Okay, so one time I saw Raja -- the winner of Season 3 -- at a show in Los Angeles and I was temporarily blinded by her sparkle.

Alas, I won't tell you who I'm rooting for. (If Roxxxy Andrews wins I might unfollow RuPaul on Twitter.) (Just kidding -- I'd never do that.)

But if Ru's gurrrls really wanna up their tuck, I'd recommend they study the original queens of fabulous. No, I'm not talking about Queen Elizabeth -- I'm talking about the purveyors of taste, the setters of trends, the rulers of the Internet. I'm talking about cats. Come on, when it comes to being catty, no one else has it covered (in luxurious fur) like a feline does.

Here are 10 cats "RuPaul's Drag Race" should be paying attention to: 

1. Luna the Fashion Kitty

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We're honored to host a regular column from Luna -- she is by far the most fabulous cat! Photo via Luna's Facebook page

We don't need to say much about Luna, except that she knows how to give face, face, face! (And tongue, tongue, tongue!)

2. Cherry Pop

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The last time we talked about Cherry Pop, someone was trying to fund a documentary about her extravagant life. Did they succeed?

Before there was Luna there was Cherry Pop, the original '80s glam pussy. Look at her! She has a tiny fake car and a tiny fake Rodeo Dr. sign! Fake it till ya make it, honey.

3. The "Oh girl, hold on" cat meme

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Let's get some shoes. Let's take this cat with us. Rumor has it Oh Girl Cat can detect a 70-percent off shoe sale from 10 miles away.

4. Catsparella's Charlie

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Catsparella's Stephanie Harwin is responsible for all our feline chic around here. But you know what they say -- behind every fashionista is a feline, and Charlie was musing for Harwin long before Choupette was whispering into Daddy Karl's ear.

5. Sukki, the up and coming starlet 

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This is Sukki. You don't know her yet, but you will. Maybe. Look, this is hard work. Sukki lives in West Los Angeles. She lives in such luxurious decadence that she doesn't even know what a weekend is ... because she doesn't work a nine to five the way the rest of us peons do.

6. Chester Smooshyface

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Photo via Chester's Tumblr -- and yes, you should bookmark that.

This is a look that says, "Treat yourself!" Treat yourself to that catnip, that sun puddle, that indulgent self-grooming session.

7. Pusheen

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Yay! It's Pusheen!

Pusheen is so fancy she wrote a guide to being fancy. Get that unicorn. Ride that rainbow. Anything is possible when you're a cartoon!

8. This random cat I found on Flickr

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Her paws are too pretty for the ground. Photo by Jochen Spalding

Look at this cat. Just look at it. Her fabulousness is literally lifting her from the ground.

9. Pudge

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Can Pudge stop with the cuteness already? No -- she can't.

Is this not the look of total blissful indulgence? That's a trick question -- it is the look of total blissful indulgence! Pudge is so pretty her human friend gives us daily photos of her and she is flaw-free in every single one of them.

10. This cat

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I mean -- yeah. Whenever someone gets jealous of your boogie, just say this to yourself. It's actually a magic spell that makes your haters vanish.

Check out some of the other fabulous things cats on Catster do:

• 7 Ways My Cats Are the Perfect Antidote for High Drama
• You Are Not Ready for Sushi Cat
• How to Take a Cat's Photo Like a Pro (With Advice From a Cat)

Photo: Fancy Ragdoll kitten by Shutterstock.com

What if cats could drive? If they did, I guarantee their car bumpers would be plastered with funny and sassy stickers. Don't you think?

What sorts of messages would those opinionated cats convey with their bumper stickers? I have some ideas.

1. Empty food bowl awareness

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"Open your eyes, people!"

Sometime cats think we are completely inattentive to their needs and desires. Or we're just blind. It matters not if dinner is two hours away, an empty food dish is a glaring message to FEED ME NOW. And yes, there may be a few kibbles or clumps of food present inside the bowl, but it's still not full. To cats, not full = empty. Kitties hope to visually nudge thoughtless humans with this bumper sticker. 

2. Show me your licker license

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"Wouldn't you?"

My cats spend a half-hour bathing and a good part of that time is spent butt licking. I know they are painstakingly clean animals, but how clean does a bottom need to be? The process must be more that just wiping away remnants of poo -- it has to be a really excellent time, too. That's why, at any given moment, they'd rather be licking their own butts. And they don't care who knows it.

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"Can't reach the pedals." Photo by Jacob Davies

3. Honor roll, schmonor roll

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"And I'm proud."

Cats are sick to death with our "My kid's an honor roll student" bumper stickers. How could they not respond with something sarcastically delicious? They also want to yak all over your stick-people family. 

4. Basket love

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"And the seating is much more comfortable."

Cats aren't always snarky -- occasionally they have a lighter message to share with the world. Like flaunting their love of the almighty laundry basket! A basket of warm laundry does in fact transport cats ... straight to nirvana. 

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"That's how I roll." Photo by TANAKA Juuyoh

5. Taking a brake

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"You better believe I do."

Cats would never, ever run over something as precious as a hair elastic. Now way, no how. And even though a hair elastic in the middle of the road may not be a common sighting to us humans, cats just want us to know how much they love these things. I suppose if you'd read this far, you've bought into the idea of cats driving cars, so asking you to imagine a bunch of hair elastics lying in the road isn't much of a stretch now, is it?

6. Political shout-outs

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"I can totally get behind her policies."

Political stickers blanket bumpers, especially during the election season. Cats desire solid leadership and have strong viewpoints on issues that are important to them. They know cats like Lil Bub will fight for equal rights for ferals and the removal of doors from all homes. "Sick of The Man bringing you down? Vote Lil Bub." 

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"I love heated seats." Photo by alexik

7. Hobbies!

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"HONK!"

Cats are always looking to connect with others who have similar interests. Bumper stickers let them be loud and proud about their hobbies and other activities. I know my cats would definitely have this sticker. Phoebe spends extended periods of time staring at moths flitting around light fixtures. Another popular moth-themed sticker is, "I'm MOTHing Without You!"

8. I heart stuff

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"And lots of it."

Cats know what they love, and they want us to know it, too. When I see "I Heart ..." bumper stickers on humans' cars, I always think, "Boy, they must really love _________." I think this because they had to first see the sticker and think to themselves, "Hey! This is totally me and I want everyone driving behind me to know I heart _________!" I'm not judging, either. I've sported bumper stickers on my car and have hearted lots of __________.

I think this is a good one because I seriously heart TP. Cats aren't the only ones who enjoy a tidy behind.

What would your cat's bumper sticker say? Tell us in the comments!

Read more posts by Angie Bailey:

• 7 Sounds That Make My Cats Run Like They've Lost Their Minds
• If Cats Used Pinterest, the World Would Be a Stranger Place
• The 6 Ways Cats Will Photobomb You

1. Mother's Day card

What your cat wants it to look like: A few lines of heartfelt verse, produced forcefully and traumatically from the deepest well of his soul and deposited on your favorite cardstock.

What it actually looks like: A puddle of vomit on your US Magazine. 

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Cat by Shutterstock.

2. Homemade dinner

What your cat wants it to look like: A three-course tasting menu using fresh, local ingredients, slow cooked to perfection on a concrete slab.  

What it actually looks like: A rat in three pieces, steaming on the porch in the afternoon heat. 

3. Fresh flowers

What your cat wants it to look like: A loosely arranged palette of your favorite flowers, presented whimsically.  

What it actually looks like: Your house plants knocked off the kitchen counter and rolled around in for about an hour. 

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Cat and houseplant by Shutterstock.

4. Candy

What your cat wants it to look like: Sinfully addictive sweets unearthed from hidden corners of the known world.  

What it actually looks like: Mucus-covered catnip banana found in the back of the closet. 

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Photo by Tabbymom Jen

5. Handmade craft  

What your cat wants it to look like: Dozens of finger socks to keep your little fingers warm. 

What it actually looks like: So many hairballs left in so many places that it seems physically impossible that your cat even has any hair left on his body at all.  

6. Breakfast in bed

What your cat wants it to look like: An adventurous culinary tour of the garden and its inhabitants.

What it actually looks like: GAHHHHH!

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Cat and butterfly by Shutterstock.

7. Thoughtful music 

What your cat wants it to sound like: A playlist of your favorite melodies, lightly serenading your dreams.  

What it actually sounds like: Caterwauling at 3 a.m., unrelenting.

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Kitten meow by Shutterstock.

8. Extra love and attention

What your cat wants it to feel like: A thousand light feathers gently brushing your cares away.

What it actually feels like: A cat sticking his ass in your face all day. 

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More cats who make us laugh:

• 8 Reasons Why Longcat Is My Favorite Internet Cat Ever
• We Interpret MORE Wacky Medieval Cat Illustrations
• You Are Not Ready for Sushi Cat

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I will try to explain this as best I can.

We open with a story about a rare and "magically combined" creature. The Sushi Cat is much like a unicorn -- but better. A Sushi Cat is a cat who rides around on a rice ball where you'd usually find a slice of delicious raw fish. How did the cat get there? What happened to the fish? No one knows for sure, but a really good guess is that the cat ate the fish and then found that the rice was a cozy place to hang out. But it doesn't really matter how Sushi Cat came to be. Sushi Cat is here.

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This is a Sushi Kitten -- rarer than the Sushi Cat.

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Make it raaain, Sushi Cat.

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Group photo!

Sushi Cat is like a falling star -- you can't go looking for a Sushi Cat, they just magically appear "between things." Sushi Cats were more prevalent before we got all jaded, but they're still around, and people who have particularly strong imaginations report more sightings than, say, curmudgeons who hate fun.

Watch the video below -- have you ever seen a Sushi Cat?

We're not sure why this exists. We don't really care. It's sublimely absurd and don't worry! No kitties were hurt! Everything was digitally altered! Binary magic! And don't worry, no one is saying we should eat Sushi Cat -- these handsome and terrifying creatures are strictly for magical, euphoria-inducing purposes.

If you're not grinning ear to ear, we don't know what's wrong with you.

Bonus! Below is the video, History of Sushi Cat, and it explains things more eloquently than we ever could.

Via LaughingSquid

Why do we bring this up? Last week was Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, which we celebrated here at Say Media, Catster's parent company. (Heh. Parent company. Kids. Get it?) It was such a kick watching the little ones come to an office populated with dogs. Totally fun, right? (There are yet to be any office cats here, but we don't doubt it will happen.)

The kids, ages 7 to 12, participated in different activities in the spirit of Say's various publications. At Catster, we asked the kids to imagine what it would be like if a cat or dog came to work at the office for a day and what they would do.

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Community Manager, Lori, poses with the kids. Assistant Editor, Liz, tries her best not to regress in front of the children. Lori wants you to know this photo is a "group selfie."

So we'll show you -- here's a child's point of view of a day in the life of an employed cat or dog. We asked the kids to consider how the dog would get to the office, what she ate for lunch, and if she held any meetings (and what those meetings might be about).

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The kids worked very hard on their stories.

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Here's a fabulous illustration by one of the talented kids.

We edited the stories together to create the piece below. Enjoy!

Infinity, the Super Duper Pooper Dog, Saves the Day!

Outside, the car horn blasted. Alex, a Pug and the C.O.O. of Say Media, grabbed her lunch off the counter and darted out the door, although she knew the contents of her sack lunch would not be enough for the day. She eagerly thought of all the snacks to eat at the office -- yum! In the car she joined her co-workers: Fluffy the cat, Buttercup the dog, Bonnie and Clyde (a pair of frivolous felines), Proustar (another cat), and Infinity, the Super Duper Pooper Dog. They decided to carpool together most days of the week. It was a great way to save money and the environment.

Once at the office, Fluffy and Buttercup sat down at the receptionist desk to answer phone calls and direct visitors. They were always very friendly. Bonnie and Clyde went to the kitchen to tally up the office snacks (their official title was office snack manager). Proustar worked in the video department. And Infinity was the building janitor, who made sure the bathrooms were always in working order.

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Photo: Cat in a tie ready for business by Shutterstock

Alex looked at her agenda for the day. In an hour she had a meeting to discuss the snack situation. She decided she would eat lunch early so she'd have room in her belly for the donuts Proustar always brought. Fluffy and Buttercup sent out reminders for the meeting. They gathered in a conference room and everyone helped themselves to donuts. They decided they needed more Milk-Bones and tuna-flavored kitty snacks. They were just about to adjourn their meeting when Infinity rushed into the room in a panic.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you all," he said, "But Buttercup fell into the toilet trying to get a drink and I have to save her!"

They all rushed out, Proustar grabbing his camera. In the bathroom, Infinity tore off his shirt, revealing a superhero outfit underneath. He fished Buttercup out of the toilet. Proustar made a video of the entire rescue and put it on the Internet, where it went viral.

They all went home together after a decidedly productive day.

The end.

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Confronted with the craft table, Lori couldn't resist making a glitter paint cat.

Header photo: Group of kids in work uniforms by Shutterstock

"How can that even be a thing?" one of them cried. "I mean, it's just cats."

"Oh, they are not just cats," I replied, "They are the Internet. The Internet moves the universe, and cats move the Internet. The catnip must flow."

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"Bow down before me, dog."

In reality, it wasn't that dramatic, but it should have been. Cats are serious business. Look no further than And My Cat. 

And My Cat is simple yet elegant in its execution: It delivers photos of cats daily. That's it. That's all. And it's sublimely wonderful.

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This is just adorable.

But beside the fact that duh, cats are awesome, the proof is in the wet cat food: And My Cat's Facebook page has more than 1 million members. That's a lot of fans. We're impressed and a little smug, because that simply confirms what we've always known, which is that cats are totally cool and everyone loves them.

Here are 10 reasons why you should love cats, featuring the cats of And My Cat:

1. Cats are pretty

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2. Look at all these cool cat-themed lifestyle accessories you can buy!

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3. Cats teach us that we should always make time for ourselves to sunbathe in a sun puddle on the porch -- and to promptly dismiss those who interrupt our "me time" 

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4. Cats remind us that we shouldn't work too hard

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5. They know how to wear many festive hats

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6. They teach us to settle conflict directly and openly -- and if that's not possible, you have every right to squash your opponent under the door mat

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7. Cats defy physics, logic, and time and space, which means that anything is possible

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8. Everything looks more artistic in black and white ... even if you just finished licking your butt

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9. A cup of hot chocolate can cure any ailing of the soul -- especially if it's someone else's hot chocolate and you've stolen it

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10. Cats love Dr. Who!

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All photos via And My Cat

Want more humor and cats? Check out these links:

• 7 Sounds That Make My Cats Run Like They've Lost Their Minds
• The Zen of Bub: 5 Life Lessons I Learned from the Lil Bub Movie
• Cats Already Own the Internet; Next Up Is the Jumbotron

We're still wondering that.  

1. Bagpiping cat, because cats love bagpipes

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The book of hours, Paris ca. 1460.

I'm going to put aside the question of whether a cat can actually learn to play the bagpipes with any sort of aptitude in favor of this one: Can a cat really puff out his cheeks and blow into things? That's a really good question the modern age has never fully addressed. In any case, it's nice to see a Middle Ages cat playing bagpipes to keep company with all the Middle Ages dogs playing bagpipes. 

What's going on with all the animals and bagpipes, Middle Ages? 

2. It's Lil Bub! 

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London Rothschild Hours (Hours of Joanna I of Castile), Ghent ca. 1500.

Great to see you in the 14th century, Lil Bub! I see you know St. Mark. Is he writing gospels about you to be read before the parishioners? Are there worshipers lined up at the door? Are you being voted "Best Cat of the Middle Ages" by the hordes of Christendom? Do you have a manuscript deal? A palimpsest deal? A tablet deal? A scroll deal? Do you have an agent? A line of cloaks? Did you pose for a painting with the Holy See? Are you a cult figure with a burgeoning sect, soon to be dragged before the Inquisition to be tried as a demon?

Or are you a cat, you know, just sitting there, waiting for this old dude to finish his scribbling and give you a pat or two.  

3. OMG mah mindz iz blowned 

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Gregory the Great, Moralia in Job, Affligem 12th century.

Wow, this medieval cat is really freaking out. He's either had a bad batch of herbs or he's inventing existentialism 400 years before Sartre. Either way, it's a bad trip. This wouldn't be happening if the Middle Ages had Friskies Party Mix Meow Luau Crunch. 

4. Et tu, Middle Ages? 

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Book of Hours, Brussels ca. 1475.

It's comforting to know a guy in 1475 thought a monkey hugging a cat was important enough to set down for posterity in -- what's this? -- the Book of Hours, from Brussels. It's nice to know we share the same values. Monkey hugging a cat? HOLD EVERYTHING. BETTER DOODLE THAT IN THE MARGIN STRAIGHTAWAY. 

Alas, he forgot to inscribe it. Fortunately, the Cheezburger school of knowledge completed the work.

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5. Really? We're doing this here?

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Book of Hours, France 15th century.

This bit of sacrilege must have happened when a scribe brought his boy to the tower for Take Your Urchin to Work Day. I never thought I would live to see a cat crapping in the margin of a 15th century tome, but ... wait a minute, is that Bill the Cat?!

6. Yeouch! 

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Augustine, Tractatus in Evangelium Johannis, Tours 12th century.

How did my cat get in a 12th century palimpsest? I know exactly where this went wrong. This guy's mistake was in trying to pet his cat. He came home from a long day filling buckets of mud for the king, saw his cat sleeping peacefully in the sun, then bent down, thinking he'd give his fella a affectionate pat.

Cue massive head wound. 

More funny stuff about cats:

• We Interpret 6 Wacky Medieval Cat Illustrations
• What Cats Want in the Hot Housing Market
• My Cat May Be the Worst Feline Huntress of All Time
• What Your Cat's Feeding Schedule Says About You

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Bub is a star because she is from outer space.

As part of the film fest, online access to the films was granted to a limited number of people. As soon as Bub tweeted to jump on that, I did. (By the way, I totally believe that Bub is indeed the one behind the tweets, because she has six toes on each paw and also telekinetic powers and I mean, just look at her! Bub proves that anything is possible.) 

The Bub movie is amazing and moving. I don't want to give anything away, but I did learn that Bub's presence on this planet is limited, because hers is a mission of love, and part of learning about love is learning about loss. I came to the conclusion that if I do not get to meet Bub in this lifetime, I will simply expire into sad space dust. That's why I had to ignore my Twitter -- people were meeting Bub left and right, and I was having a quiet meltdown of wistful envy.

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Lil Bub fan art I totally agree with.

But you know what? Whatever. If I really feel that upset about other people getting to meet this miraculous space cat, then obviously I have not taken the message of Bub to heart. Because Bub is all about peace and acceptance and living in harmony with the world.

So let's take a deep breath, shall we? And contemplate the Zen of Bub. Here are five life lessons I learned from Lil Bub and Friendz.

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Bub in a magical field of clover because: Duh, Bub.

1. When life gives you troubles, fold your hands and close your eyes, and think of soft things

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Serenity now.

This is Bub's signature pose for a reason -- Bub dwells in a permanent state of peace. Doesn't she look so peaceful? And don't her paws look so soft? At the risk of sounding creepy, I want to feel her paws against my cheek. I bet they feel like the softest, finest silk.

2. Just be yourself and the world will celebrate you for it

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Wink!

Bub is no ordinary cat. She has, like, a million toes, and yet she has not one tooth. Her lower jaw decided to up and leave her, her eyes are really, really big, and the bones of her limbs are dense and bowed, which means she can't really move with all the grace and agility of other cats. Bub could have taken her strangeness and shamefully hidden it away in a bell tower, but she didn't! She made it incredibly cute!

Her Dude calls her a "perma-kitten," which is the most adorable thing ever. And the world loves her for it. There's this scene in the movie where she arrives at the Internet Cat Video Film Festival and within seconds a crowd gathers around her, their faces bright with adoration. People send her fan art. She has her own merchandise line. Her movie won Best Feature Film in the Tribeca Online Festival. Bub, you're a star!

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I'd say that Bub is saintly … wouldn't you?

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Classical Bub.

3. Take chances because life is full of miracles and magic, and you just never know

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Beach Bub.

Bub was rescued from a barn in Indiana. A woman heard her crying in the darkness, and upon investigation, she found a litter of kittens. Bub was the obvious runt. I say "runt," but what I really mean is her spaceship landed on Earth, and in order not to alarm anyone, Bub cuddled up with a litter of barn cats to keep her alien identity a secret. In her infancy, Bub shared a home with a girl whose birth was a miracle as well. The Dude was a struggling recording engineer prior to Bub, but her fame helped him recover. What if no one had answered those helpless mewings? Explore your interests, reach out to others, and never give up -- you just never know what opportunities are around the corner.

4. Life is short, so live with authenticity and robustness

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When you can't think of a good reason to say, "No," say, "Yes."

There's all this weird stigma attached to guys who are into cats, but if The Dude hadn't followed through on his fondness for felines, he would have never met Lil Bub, and maybe his recording studio would have gone under and he'd be totally bummed. But The Dude was true to himself, and when he fell in love with Bub, he didn't hesitate -- he just went for it. He loved her so much he proudly posted a photo of her online, and the Internet went nuts. While it's true that Bub's time on this planet is limited, that doesn't stop her or her Dude from appearances on talk shows, making an awesome movie, and traveling all around meeting cool people.

5. Love is the most powerful thing in the universe

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It's so true.

I'm not sure about this, but I'd wager Bub's spaceship is powered almost exclusively by love and cuteness. Don't quote me on this, but I am pretty darn sure about it. The love between Bub and her Dude is palpable throughout the movie, especially in a moment of panic when Dude comes home to find Lil Bub sick and rushes her to the vet. I found myself crying as the credits rolled, uplifted by the magic of this little, adorable, accidental creature. It made me want to run out and hug everyone. It made me feel optimistic. Look, in my own ways, I am a perma-kitten too. I'm really short. It sometimes frustrates me when I can't find clothes that fit right at all. But Bub has taught me to love myself as I am, and my world is a lot brighter for it.

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The baby Bub Dude fell in love with.

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Bub in the arms of her Dude.

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This is me doing my best Lil Bub impression. Ne-meow-ste.

All photos via the Lil Bub website

Read more about precious Lil Bub on Catster:

• We Talk to Famed Internet Cat Lil Bub and Her Humble Owner
• Lil Bub Braves a Big Bear in a New Photo Series
• More Lil Bub, Because There's Never Enough Lil Bub

Don't these photos just look like caffeinated heaven?

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Cats just hang out with customers at the cafe.

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The cats have plenty of furniture of their own to climb on.

If you're in Budapest, it's not a dream -- it's reality.

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Even kids dig it.

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Even the menu offerings are cat-themed!

Cat Cafe Budapest is home to 13 cats as well as delicious coffee. The cats roam the cafe freely, interacting with customers and probably occasionally drinking out of unsupervised glasses of water. Do you think they provide special lids to prevent curious cats from taking a sip?

This video captures the cool vibe of sitting at a hip cafe with a dark cup of coffee and hanging out with some cool cats. We can't think of any animal more appropriate for seeing and being seen at a cafe than a cat. They've got their paws on the pulse.

So, who's going to come with us to Hungary? Would you ever hang out at a cafe with cats?

Via Laughing Squid, photos via the Cat Cafe Budapest Facebook page

According to the original poster, the cats and the dog never exchanged olive branches. The cats resorted to your typical feline retaliation tactics: Franklin, the bigger, darker cat in the photos, peed in the bed, while Mabel, the Bengal cat, took advantage of every opportunity to harass the puppy. The Beagle puppy, named Ripley, looks pretty confused by the whole situation. 

Does this scene look familiar?

At first the two cats detected something new in their environment. Something that smelled distinctly of freshly cut grass and dog breath ...

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"Hey what's that?"

"A dog! There's a dog on the premises! Engage attack mode!"

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Someone is really unhappy.

"Not so fast. Let's observe the dog first from a safe distance."

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"Observe the enemy from a distance."

"Dude, what the fluff? My human friends left me with two cats. What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?"

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"This sucks."

"Approach the target carefully, with slow, steady steps. They say dogs only respond to rapid motion. Stalking makes cats virtually invisible."

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Poor Ripley!

Separated only by a pillow, Mabel stares at Ripley with pupils dilated, wondering if she should take advantage of Ripley's moment of distraction for an aggressive pounce. Meanwhile, Ripley wonders what exactly she did to be abandoned thusly to two cats. "Was it that time I peed on the rug? I was barely housebroken!"

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Standoff.

What's it like when your cats encounter a dog? How long does it take for your cats to warm up to a guest?

Images via Reddit